Snake Island

Rating:
Summary: Worst movie I have ever seen
Review: I saw this movie for free, and thank heavens for that. A friend loaned it to me "just in case" I'd like it. And I can't say I blame him for thinking that... from the picture on the cover, it really does look like "my kind of" movie. No photograph, but instead a rather crude painting of a giant snake next to a smaller image of a number of people running from a number of more regular-sized snakes. This rather timeless image, together with the lack of any release date on the case, led me to believe it possible that this might be a 1960s-70s Hammer-esque monster movie, about a bunch of people under seige by an ever-advancing wall of serpentine evil, with maybe a climax involving a giant, monster-sized daddy snake. Unfortunately, this movie, from 2002, is nothing like what I thought it might be (that's what happens when you're optimistic about anything... lesson here? Never assume the best). I was never expecting a masterpiece, but I was expecting to have fun... I was right about the first expectation but wrong about the second.

"Snake Island" stars William Katt, of "Greatest American Hero" fame (feel free to make your own 'Believe it or Not' joke), some black British girl, a generic couple of newlyweds, and a guy who at times looks like Robert DeNiro and a woman who at times looks like Terry Farrell. Oh, and a guy who seems to be a hybrid of John Rhys-Davies and Peter Jackson (I could never seem to decide which of the two of them he reminded me the most of).

Our cast becomes stranded on an island conveniently crawling with snakes (good for us, as I was rooting for the snakes anyway), and nearly the first hour of this film an infurating sequence of the snakes not being noticed/almost attacking someone/someone thinking their being attacked by a snake when it's really just an innocent misunderstanding or someone playing a joke on them. Just like the boy who cried wolf, though this time the movie is playing it with us. And believe me, it gets OLD. I wouldn't have minded one or two before things started to get ugly and the snakes began their all-out assult, but to have to put up with nearly an hour of this, is really just frustrating. Any interest you might have had for what was happening will really be killed while you wait for the first body to drop (this is of course not counting the death scene during the pre-credits sequence, where the man we see running in terror could be looking for an airline sickness bag for all we know... there's not a snake to be seen). At least the credits music was kind of pleasant, if inappropriately upbeat.

I do have something good to say about this movie once we're about an hour and ten minutes into it or so... After all that waiting (and believe me, it feels like forever), we FINALLY find ourselves in the movie I was expecting this to be from the very beginning. Sadly, the moment doesn't last. If 1.3 were a possible rating here at Amazon, that's what I'd give this.

Some of the more odd things about this movie should be mentioned, I suppose. But their not odd in an interesting way, their odd in a "What the heck did they think they were doing" kind of way... didn't they stop to think that people would actually be watching this? Two things, I have in mind, specifically: during a party scene where we're subjected to some horrendously awful techno-dance music, we have snakes dancing along with it (that really came out of nowhere), using a state-of-the-art effects method that involves playing back and forth the same second of footage over and over again in a continuous loop, allowing the snake to "move" back and forth to the beat. The second happens about fifteen minutes from the end, when a pair of cobras, while sneeking up on the Terry Ferrell-look-alike, begin to talk and sing. Yes, you read that right, TALK and SING. As if this were a kids puppet show. And they don't even speak in hissy, snake-like voices... they have these deep, fake-British accents. If this film had been a spoof, that's one thing, but as it seemed to try to take itself seriously up to that point (aside from the dancing snake bit I mentioned already)... "We hate people, yes we do, As far as we're concerned they're just something to chew." I mean, what were the guys in production drinking that day? This scene leads to another scene toward the end, when William Katt's character looks up and finds himself face-to-face with a cobra ("Raiders of the Lost Ark" Well of Souls-style). The snake stares at him, he stares at the snake, the snake opens its mouth... and as this happens following the infamous "singing snake" scene, I wasn't expecting the cobra to spit or strike, as I imagine we're supposed to... I was expecting the snake to shout, "HOWAYAH?" and then give Mr. Katt a kiss.

Do yourself a favor and give this movie a skip. If giant monster creatures/nature running amok films are your cup of tea, watch anything else besides this... you'll thank me, and even if you don't (you lazy thing) you'll at least have the comfort of knowing that you had more fun than I did. This movie bites, "Believe it or Not". Heh heh heh.

Carry on Carry on,

MN

Rating:
Summary: The good, the bad, and the snakes
Review: I wouldn't have seen this movie if I hadn't seen the trailer for it. The title sounded stupid, but the trailer looked very good. Some parts were really creative and inspiring. Others were not, like the part where the snakes were dancing, or when one got frozen by a fire hydrant and tipped over. My favorite part, on the other hand, was Lisa's shower scene. It was well-acted and dramatic. There were also some other parts liked, but I can't remember them at the moment.

Rating:
Summary: William Katt-what happened to you to make you do this movie
Review: OK, who's sick idea was this? I want answers!

Rating:
Summary: This could happen
Review: The thing I really liked about Snake Island is
that it could happen. Thousands of ticked-off
snakes trap a few unsuspecting humans on an
remote island.

These people aren't cleverly overcoming a 400
foot "freak of nature", they're fighting just
to survive the onslaught of literally thousands
of venomous reptiles.

A boat load of interesting characters stop at
Snake Island, which is a tourist resort in Africa,
for various reasons. They're there for a good time
and they actually do for awhile.

This movie has a really good sense of humor
at times.

These people are believeable. There are no
heavy duty killers on the run or evil scientists
hiding amoungst the crew, ordinary tourists
or people on business.

It may take awhile for anyone to realize they
landed in the wrong place at the wrong time
(although the audience knows right away),
but, once they do, things happen at a furious
pace.

The real snakes are everywhere. They have killed
before to survive, and as some in this current
group of visitors begins to pose a threat, they
react again in the same deadly manner.

Without giving away the whole plot, I think the
"punchline" of Snake Island is that it's sometimes
enough just to survive a terrorizing situation.

It reminded me of my wartime experience.

Because of it's sense of reality, I really enjoyed
this flick.

Rating:
Summary: Reasonably fun
Review: Wayne Crawford wrote, directed and produced this film, a serpentine variant on "Frogs" and "Birds". Though he looks ugly as sin, since he is the writer/director/producer, he's the only guy in the film who scores, and together with bankable star William Katt the only guy who survives. Lots of nice shots of snakes, nice South African nature shots, and two nice nude scenes - Heather skinny dipping 45 minutes in and Lisa in the shower at 55 minutes.

Rating:
Summary: God Awful Flicks presents...Snake Island
Review: William Katt would be better served doing infomercials than this garbage.