Rating: 
Summary: Blank Movie
Review: Jamie Blanks, graduate of the VCA in Australia. Pretty poor endorsement of that schools film department. He directed Urban Legend, which was average at best, now he's inflicted us with Valentine. I won't mention any actors in this film, I'll save them the shame, even though some might be well known, they really shouldn't be heard from again after this garbage. Some geeky kid is picked on at school by 5 girls, they won't dance with him at the grade 5-6 prom?? And ultimately embarrass him, he's sent off to the nut house and all is well for the next 15 or so years. Amazingly the girls are all still friends since grade school. And start getting offed by some loon in a Valentine mask. Here's where the film might take off, the scare factor. However Blanks used all the dumb directorial techniques which made it obvious where the killer would be and what he'd do. The scenes between killing were sparsly populated which added to the terrible acting in making the movie look like expensive porn, without the sex. Blank's might have saved his movie somewhat if he went down that road and had the girls take off their clothes and it all could have been justified in the campy horror/slasher/nudity take. Blanks decided to take it all too seriously, hoping this might help his career (on a shocking nose dive). Ultimately this is studio driven trash, fronted by a few pretty stars (and a few not so pretty) and helmed by a director who'll do what he's told.
Rating: 
Summary: BRILLIANT!!!
Review: The recent Hollywood slasher genre, post-Scream flicks, have become so old that I watched this and found it really cool and refreshing. So you could knock holes in the plot with a feather, ANNE ROBINSON is scarier on THE WEAKEST LINK and it's 'humour' is almost non-existant... but I watched it with a clear mind, and I felt totally absorbed by it. All the cast were likeable if sometimes wooden... but in what slasher films (other than SCREAM)do you find faultless acting... but that's not the point. Director Jamie Blanks seems to be carving his neiche as Wes Cravens protege. The glossy dull-ness of his debut admirable URBAN LEGEND has evolved into this, almost a cross between Beverly Hills 90210 (with the cast: ALL seem to have just walked out of a 'worlds most beautiful people' competition) and the classic 'anything-for-a-body-count' slasher-thons of the 80's, with a touch of classy thrillers thrown in. I see a big future for Mr Blanks. The connections to Valentines Day is a touch sketchy, and the ending confused me a tad (who was the killer? both of them? did they know about the other one? were they in on it togethar?), but the death are interesting, creepy, gory, and I even spilled popcorn at one point (the very first jump in the morgue)... and that's something I never do!! It may sound like I wasn't too keen on this film. But... for some reason... I loved it... every single second of it. Roll on VALENTINE II
Rating: 
Summary: Good Scares in Valentine
Review: I am now proud to say that I like scary movies, for these recent movies like "Urban Legend", "Urban Legends: Final Cut", "Scream", and... VALENTINE. "Valentine" surprised me; itá a very good slasher. The cast is great, with Denise Richards (Wild Things), Jessica Cauffiel (Urban Legends: Final Cut) and David Boreanaz (Angel). Jamie Blanks done a very good job again. (He is the director of "Urban Legend"). I can't hardly wait for the DVD.
Rating:
Summary: Oh, so very disappointing
Review: This film had potential. It looked like a rice re-visit to the old "Prom Night" days. However, it was an ugly revist to the crappy-wanna-make-a-buck-without-a-real-story cheezy days. The reason why this killer is offing these girls is one of the lamest to date. Granted, it is very much like Prom Night - but in Prom Night, the killer is getting revenge over his sister's death. In Valentine, the killer is getting revenge because no one would dance with him at the school dance. Then of course he gets transferred, goes to a mental institution blah blah blah. However, a strong point of the film is that the characters seem almost completely real - there are ones that you just DON'T want to die. However, the ending is the real let down. You know who the killer is when you see the previews of the film, and the film doesn't really end, it just kinda...stops. And its a real disappointment because you expect this great climax, but you just don't get it. I just hope and prey that there won't be a sequel.
Rating:
Summary: VALENTINE
Review: VALENTINE is a new horror-thriller about five young girls who are being stalked by a Cupid mask wearing killer who could possibly be the same guy they all rejected back in middle school. There are many plot twists, lots of action, lots of action, many suspects, and a high body count. This movie turned out to be much better than I expected, and I recommend it to anyone who is a fan of horror movies!
Rating:
Summary: More Original than it Looks on the Surface.
Review: If Critics could get over the fact that... Yes, Girls are Chased down dark hallways by a Mask wearing Serial Killer in "Valentine", they would actually realise that the film Does bring a few New Tricks to the somewhat Tired Formula. For Example, There are No Killer Monologues at the Climax... You know what I mean. Eg, "Yes, I killed all those Scantily Clad Teens, and you Know Why... Because Blah Blah Blah." They tend to get on my Nerves and Spoil a Perfectly Good Horror film. They Slow the Pacing down to a Crawl and they turn the Scary Killer into a Cry Baby. "Valentine" Cleverly does away with them. The most Original Thing the film does, the thing that sets it apart from All the Others is the fact that it doesn't make Any Pop-Culture References... Not One. (some may count the "Angel" reference, but I wouldn't, that was probably just Coincidence) Pop-Culture References (Eg. Mentioning Jamie Lee Curtis' Horror films in "Scream", mentioning the OJ Killing in "Urban Legends - Final Cut") drive me Insane, they are thrown in my Young Screenwriters who Think they are being Hip and Clever, it May have worked in "Scream" and "Bride of Chucky", but it Doesn't work in "Scream 3" or "Urban Legends - Final Cut". Quentin Tarantino does it Extremely Well, Kevin Smith does in Extremely Poorly. (in "Clerks" he had the right idea, in all his other films he has Blown it) "Valentine" showed a lot of Class leaving them out and I Thank the Makers from the Bottom of my Heart. The film cleverly sets up Many Characters with the Opportunity and the Motive to be the Killer; they also play Twenty-Something's, which Is a Nice change. I believe we've All seen enough Teens Bite the Big one lately. I Also Loved how the film takes itself Totally Seriously, that is Good, it is Daring to do that these days as it's Safer to poke a little Fun at the Genre. The Story involves 5 Beautiful young women getting Stalker by a Serial Killer. The Detective on the case my have a Suspect, but the Girls believe it is a boy that they used to Tease at School. They receive Gruesome Valentines day cards that are Followed by Many Murders, Buckets of Blood, Sexy Stars and Cool Camerawork. The Performances are Good, as the film Is a Horror film. If the film were a Drama, I wouldn't be so Lenient. Marley Shelton stars as Kate (the Nice one). She basically has to Carry the film and she does an Adequate job. Jessica Capshaw is Dorothy (the Big one); she acts much like Marley, lots of Smiles and Stares. Denise Richards is Paige (the Sexy one); she acts with her Eyebrows and mostly just replays her "Wild Things" role. Jessica Cauffiel is Lily (the Funny one), she may be the funny one in "Road Trip", she may be the funny one in "Urban Legends - Final Cut", but she is Not the funny one here. (Jason is, but I'll get to him later) Lastly, Katherine Heigl plays Shelley (the Smart one), she doesn't get much Screen time, and it is Quite a Shame, as I am quite a Fan of hers. The Five of them are Very Beautiful and Quite Watch-able; the Guys are Also quite good. David Boreanaz plays Adam, Kate's On-again-Off-again boyfriend. He may not have the Largest Range of Emotions for a Leading man, but... well... He's just Cool. Daniel Cosgrove is Believable as Campbell, Dorothy's Live-in boyfriend who may be a Conman. He is Believable as a Nice guy and Believable as a Conman. The Best Actor award goes to Adam Harrington, he plays Jason, a very Small role, but he makes the Most of it. He may only get about 6 minutes of Screen time, but that is all he needed to make one hell of an Impression on me. He is Hilarious. Jamie Blanks' Directing is Assured and Effective. He Knows the Genre, he knows where to put the Camera, when to Cut away for Maximum Effects. He is a Natural Born Horror Director. The Death Scenes are Elaborate and Original and no matter How Tired you might be of seeing Slow Killers catching Fast Kids, you will Not be Bored by this film, it Keeps you, and the Characters on your toes. Overall, "Valentine" may be very Similar to many other Stalk-and-Slash flicks, but it Does bring a few new Bits and Pieces to the Genre, as well as being Daring, Fun, Sexy and Scary. The only other Modern Horror film that can Honestly say all that without cracking a smile is "Scream".
Rating:
Summary: The best surprise ending I've ever seen!
Review: I saw this movie yesterday, and I can clearly say it has the best ending twist of any horror film I've ever seen. There is sure to be a sequel.
Rating:
Summary: One of the best slasher films I've ever seen
Review: This movie was alot better than the recent 90's slahser films. It had a bit of a hitchockian style with the touch of some of the 80's films. And I believe that this film has reawaken the horror genre. For once we have gotten a good horror film that lives up to it processors. I love this film and can't wait for the DVD that will have the 30minute fooage that was taken out of the movie. I give this film an A-
Rating: 
Summary: not a love storie ,but another slasher flick
Review: AS far as low budget Slasher flicks go this was good.in my opion better then most of those 90-slasher flicks.In a Nut shell A Rejected jr high boy 13 years later goes after the girls who turned him down @ the school dance ,all those years ago.The movie over all is good entertainment,the surprise ending &who done it format help push this movie up to a 3 (plus the 2.5 isn't a choice here-lol).If you go ,Watch the charecter with the nose bleed-this part of the movie leaves ,it open for the series that is sure to follow.HORROR HAS A NEW HOLIDAY IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!!
Rating:
Summary: The perfect movie when you're dateless on Valentine's
Review: This seemed 'appropriate' to watch on Valentine's. I keep getting told it's 'appropriate' to watch certain movies at certain times. The only movie I've ever tried that with (apart from Christmas movies), is Sweet November, which is the perfect movie to watch in November. This seemed appropriate to watch alone (gimme some sympathy please) on Valentine's night.
During the first few minutes, it very obviously steals ideas from a few other movies: the Halloween-style score at the beginning; a guy getting a red liquid thrown over him, similar to the infamous pigs blood scene from Carrie and the young guy's character being called Jason. There are also quite a few, probably unintentional, references to other teenie movies, particularly Scream.
I am not the biggest fan of Denise Richards, as her eyebrows are a little overpowering, and definitely need plucked. Plus, she's too perfect - hopefully not anymore, considering at the time of writing, she has one kid, and another on the way! The rest of the characters were your stereotypical teen slasher cast: the fat girl, who's now thin; all the girls wear tight revealing tops, with everything pushed up around their necks; and the guys look suitably easy on the eye.
However, the movie left you guessing right to the very end, and ends in such a way, that you're still looking confused as to who the killer really was when the credits are rolling. Everyone is thrown in the frame at one point, as it is with all slasher flicks. You're wondering at the end, how some people ended up being there though.
In one scene, Kat tells Dorothy that her boyfriend, Adam Carr (David Boreanaz), is 'no angel'. This is, of course, referring to Boreanaz's hit TV series, "Angel".
The movie looks glossy enough, however it was filmed in only 42 days. David Boreanaz shot his entire character role in less than two weeks. Katherine Heigl had only 3 days to shoot her scenes. She was already committed to TV's "Roswell". And at a cost of $10 million this is the cheapest film to ever have a Superbowl spot.
Jessica Cauffiel's character Lily is set to go to Los Angeles the day after she's killed. In Urban Legends Final Cut (done by the same director?), Cauffiel's character is also set to go to Los Angeles the day after she's killed.
The order in which Jeremy asks the girls to dance is also the order in which they die. The girls' responses to Jeremy's asking them to dance foreshadows their fates. Lily acts disgusted when asked to dance, and is later disgusted when she bites into a chocolate with maggots inside. Paige says she'd rather be boiled alive, and is electrocuted in a hot tub. Dorothy ends up blaming Jeremy for her actions, and Jeremy/Adam later frames her for the murders.
This is an instantly forgettable movie, apart from Denise Richards' (Paige) scene in the hot tub. I will not be setting foot anywhere near a hot tub after watching that. Not that I ever would, but you never know when it might arise. It's your typical teen slasher flick, with no surprises, and a subtle twist at the end. Not mind-blowing, but not falling in the god-awful category either.
|
