Valentine

Rating:
Summary: HOW CAN A MOVIE WITH THIS CAST.... SUCK SO BAD??
Review: Okay. I originally gave this movie 1 star, but changed my mind. I'll give it 2 stars, just for the sheer fact that any movie with a cast of beauties like this can't be all bad.

I was stoked about VALENTINE. Denise Richards, Marley Shelton, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Capshaw, Jessica Cauffiel & Hedy Burress all in the same movie! How could it possibly be anything but good.

Not a bad concept. A series of murders centered around a group of girls that have been friends since grade school. I won't give anything way..(even though there isn't much to give away), but nothing is done with it. The story is straight forward. I've never seen a horror movie that was so void of suspense in my entire life!! I'll just say this. If anybody ever walks off by themselves..... kiss'em goodbye. yawn....

Oh... and despite all the beautiful people involved in the film, it's also void of anything sexy or remotely risque.

I'm a writer, and either the original writers idea was butchered by sensors and executives, or Hollywood has proven once more that it isn't what you know, or how well something is written, but who you know.

If SCREAM brought horror movies back to the theatres... then VALENTINE took them right back out.

Rating:
Summary: Predictable... definately not original
Review: I had no idea what this movie was about when I went to watch it at the theatre. I definately regret it. It was boring. The story was weak. Nothing about the movie was original. The characters were not interesting. A little after the movie started you knew what would happen next. Very predictable. But if you like movies like that, good for you. It was definately not made for an audience like myself...

Rating:
Summary: Two-Three Star Beginning, Spirals Downhill Fast! Terrible.
Review: It is a real toss-up whether to give this One Star or Two Stars. In my opinion, I give it 2-3 stars for the first half of the movie, 1 star for the last half, and -1, for the ending. this movie starts out decent, including a funny 'speed dating' segment. The movie just spirals downhill getting worse and worse until it finally ends in a STUPID UNINTERESTING INSULTING MESS. Denise Richards is beautiful, but her character is really very dull. This is basically a cheesy teen slasher that insults anyone with even half a brain. I gave it two stars because it had some decent moments in the begining. I'd pass on this terrible movie. You should see the director and his commentary--he is terrible. I can't believe he could actually film a movie :-)

Rating:
Summary: Be sure that your lover is innocent !!!
Review: I like horror films just like the other guys on this page.Maybe this is the reason why I liked this film...Before my opinons about it, I must say that I really hate 'Scream 3'.It was a big fiasco...If you are a real spectator of horror films you may like it. Because it bounces you at almost every stages. Moreover, I think there is an important point that is shown us at the end of the movie.Paige (Denise)is not sure about her love during the film till she saw her friend Dorothy with the mask on her face.And then, Adam (David) got the cute girl...Actually there are some other points we should think on them...Adam is not the only guilty guy I think.People around him are so coarse to him at the early stage of his life..Of coure, this would not be an excuse but we can see that usually there are some reasons which push the guilt person into a murder...What I am triying to say I got a considerable pleasure during the film both for its horrific scenes and thought-provoking content.If you are able to get the messages you may really enjoy this one. It can not get the oscar with its plot but it is enough to make the mood tension...And I would like to congratulate Denise and David on them well performance...

Rating:
Summary: Return to Sender.
Review: There comes a time when one can only watch the same washed up, tired out storyline without beginning to poke fun at the tactics the filmmakers use. Watching "Valentine" was a much more interactive experience for me. I found myself grimacing in complete contempt for its reliance on horror clichés and a morality lesson that is phony to the core, while also screaming at the characters for their outright stupidity.

The movie is one of the worst post-"Scream" features I've seen, and that includes "Urban Legend," which was also directed by Jamie Blanks, who brings nothing but banality, predictability, and boredom to his latest venture. There is no mystery to be hashed out, no suspenseful moments that are worth biting nails over. In fact, the movie goes so far as to evoke the audience's sympathy for the killer, and not his victims. And that just the beginning.

The film opens with a junior high dance, as a misfit boy walks up to various girls and asks them to dance. Each of them turns him down, one politely, the others in demeaning fashions. Moving ahead thirteen years, the movie introduces us to those girls many years later, and wastes no time in getting rid of one (if the bimbo doesn't have enough sense to leave the building instead of corner herself and become a slab of bloody meat, then she deserves to die).

Not that any of the other girls are any smarter or interesting. There's Paige (Denise Richards), Kate (Marley Shelton), Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw), and Lily (Jessica Cauffiel), and from the get-go, they do absolutely nothing of interest to us or of importance to the movie. After they attend the funeral, they get some insider information from a detective who has a horny eye set on Paige. That, coupled with some very unconventional Valentine cards and gifts, and they begin speculating as to who could possibly be the murderer.

If there's one thing I hate, it's a blonde trying to figure out a murder mystery, especially when the rest of the group can't seem to help her out. As if the whole thing isn't blatantly obvious to the audience, yet the characters are required not to piece it all together too soon because this is a mystery, and we have to find out piece by piece who's behind the supposed mayhem.

There's just one problem: most of the audience already knows who the killer is, who's going to be left in the end, and so on. The script throws various possible contenders into the picture to try and give the film some mystery, hoping to keep us waiting for who the final killer is going to be. This may have worked, had they kept it to a minimum, but by the time the nine male rolled onto the screen, I was already making my own predictions.

The movie has a lesson behind its fodder, one about teasing and how it catches up with you. Of course, it takes a backseat to the social lives of our four starlets, who seem more concerned with throwing a Valentine's Day party instead of keeping their lives. We come to despise these females so enormously that we feel a certain sense of sympathy for the killer, once a teased child. I don't think this is what they had in mind, but so it goes.

What makes it even worse is how many trite sequences the movie contains, from panicked girls running up the stairs instead of out the front door, to cheap shocks involving hands falling upon shoulders and people darting out from behind corners to a jump on the soundtrack. We've seen it done a million times, therefore diminishing any effect that moments like this have on horror buffs.

"Valentine" is like a bad dream you'd have after eating too many heart-shaped candies. There's nothing interesting about a movie that continually and shamelessly embraces old-school tactics. I sincerely hope that this is the last of the teenage horror genre for a few years; we need a breather. And as for the film itself, mark this one "Return to Sender."

Rating:
Summary: I liked it...
Review: I'm a movie fanatic, including slasher movies. This one is watchable, if you like slasher movies.

I'm not going to review it like everyone else because it looks like people got it covered as to the base and plot of the movie. But I would like to add, I'm seeing that a lot of people take it that there is only one killer. I take it as there are 2. . . . . . :::spolling statement:: I mean you would have to see the movie...but why would Dorothy wear the mask as well? Unless she's a killer as well (as she pointed out she was the "fat" one and, moreorless, the least liked one of the group of her friends, in her mind). Or else the guy injuried her enough to put the mask on and she was in too much of a shock to take it off but I wouldn't give people that much credit to think that one up. So I say there had to be 2 killers.

In the end, there is definitely a set up for a sequel. I hope not, as I am not one for sequels.

Rating:
Summary: IT'S ALL PRETTY MUCH BEEN DONE BEFORE.
Review: THE ACTING, THE WRITING, AND THE DIRECTING ARE ALL LESS THAN AVERAGE. THE PLOT IS A BUNCH OF RECYCLED IDEAS THROWN TOGETHER. I'M GIVING IT TWO STARS BECAUSE: 1)THERE ARE SOME FUNNY MOMENTS IN THE MOVIE AND 2)THE ENDING IS VERY GOOD. IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO BE SCARED OUT OF YOUR SEATS, HOWEVER, "VALENTINE" IS NOT THE MOVIE YOU WANT TO SEE.

Rating:
Summary: Not as bad as I thought it was going to be...
Review: with that said this movie isn't a masterpiece either. the killer is obvious,but thanks to a nice little twist in the ending it becomes less so. the actresses make good eye candy with Denise Richards never breaking her sex pot image. it's only a shame that Katherine Heigl wasn't in more of the movie because she was one of the better actresses.

Rating:
Summary: A bad choice no matter how you slice it.
Review: This movie is terrible. Don't be fooled by these positive 4 star reviews on Amazon like I was, it stinks. It is formulaic to the nth degree, the director even rips off the Halloween films with gimmicky shots (some might call them an homage, I call them a rip-off). There is no sense of fun or cleverness in the whole film. People randomly come into the story and then are killed before you even know who they are or why they are there in the first place. There doesn't seem to be any main character or hero in the story, the hero seems to be the only character that's left alive at the end, thus being the hero only by default.

The direction is disjointed, certain scenes seem to be in the movie for absolutely no apparent reason at all (i.e. the candle wax scene). The methods of murdering the victims in the film are generic and uninspired, even for this type of "teen shocker" film. Oooooh! A stabbing! That is original stuff.

The acting is mediocre at best. But then the characters don't have even the least bit of substance for the actors to work with either. Why does this group of people continue to hang out with each other years and years after they left school? And are they 20-something professionals? Because they act like teenagers. Except they live in clearly expensive homes and apartments, seemingly by themselves. The male characters just wander into the plot. Are these men the same junior high bullies at the beginning of the film? You never really know for sure. And why did the overweight, socially ostracized girl suddenly become friends with the so-called "popular" girls? And when did this happen? Why did they suddenly accept her into their "cool" circle? Because she lost weight, therefore becoming "cool"?

Final word: This movie is lame, even as a guilty pleasure which I hoped it would be. Try not to waste a few bucks on a rental, and for the love of God don't be tricked into buying this garbage.

...the mask is cool though.

Rating:
Summary: not THE most original movie in the world
Review: this movie was OK, but the truth: it's a predictable scary movie, sorta like scream but the story is a bit twisted. i mean, i don't wanna give the storyline away but as you can probably tell it's just a killer who starts killing one person after the other and sending them letters first...scream. even the cover looks the same, they're all standing the same way just like they do on all scary movie covers. worth seeing but don't expect anything different from what you've seen before.