Rating: 
Summary: the best movie ever made!!!!!!!!
Review: The greatest movie ever made. som of the best one liners ever! "You armed the transvestite." C'mon, how could you not like this movie? Brilliant film making. Blah.
Rating: 
Summary: wow this movie really sucks..
Review: The Item is one of the worst movies ever made next to Carnosaur(now that movie was a joke). As said before from previous reviewers the cover is misleading. THE CREATURE DOESNT EVEN LOOK GREAT NOR HAVE EYES LOOKING LIKE THE WAY IT DID ON THE COVER! Stupid plot, Criminal watching after a box with a deadly creature and try win a million bucka-rews.
The movie is Pure crap and I'm not even gonna go into the whole bizarre plot but I will say this movie involves Tranvestites, killings, guns, and lots of bad acting. If anyone whoe looked at the back of the cover of this film(or monkey crap as what I called this film)they should have noticed something mentioning about Tarantino(I forgot what it was cause I saw this piece of doo doo a loooong time ago)and was the main reason I even saw this flick.
What ever you do do not watch this film, it was one of the worst films ever even if it is a direct to video film....Trust me..
1.0 out 5 stars
Lates
Rating:
Summary: A great movie!
Review: There are those that miss the point of this film. It's a ridiculously insane ride with buckets of blood, lots of yelling and spot on dialouge. It isn't suppose to be serious, it isn't suppose to be scary and it's suppose to be as silly as it is. It's hugely original, filled with wierd happenings and intriging ideas. Loved the decapitation part.
Rating:
Summary: Return this Item
Review: This has got to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Looking forward to a fun, perhaps off-track horror flick, this one misses the mark by a mile. From the overly juicy sound effects to the buckets of gore, this is one "Item" I'd like to return!
Rating:
Summary: embarrassing
Review: This is the most annoying, stupid movie I have ever seen. I am a B-movie veteran who has watched aweful movies the likes of which commoners can never even fathom. Yet somehow this is probably my least favourite. It tries so hard to be cutting edge, innovative, and quirky. There's more transvestites and gratuitous gunplay than you could shake a stick at, I hate all the characters (and not in a good, Russ Tamblyn way), and it has the MOST IDIOTIC SCENE EVER!!!!!!!!!! Yes - dumber than the animal cracker scene in the 1998 Ben Affleck romp, "Armageddon"(Here I am making fun of this movie, but I don't know how to spell 'Armageddon')! I won't try to explain it though, but it involves the ridiculous monster(The least threatening creature since ELMER, from'Brain Damage') and the main guy's girlfriend. Embarrassing.
P.S. don't censor this
p.p.s. I'm not really 4. I'm 4 and a half!
Rating:
Summary: May god have mercy on your soul
Review: This is the most god aweful movie ever. I wanted to kill myself during the movie to end my suffering. I wasted two hours of my life that I will never get back. You would have to pay me to watch this movie again. Watching paint dry would have been more entertaining.
Rating:
Summary: May god have mercy on your soul
Review: This is the most god aweful movie ever. I wanted to kill myself during the movie to end my suffering. I wasted two hours of my life that I will never get back. You would have to pay me to watch this movie again. Watching paint dry would have been more entertaining.
Rating:
Summary: I wish they would have a 0 star
Review: This is the worst movie ever made it's pure garbage, waste of money, horrible acting, horrible story a abomination to the world. I don't know why artisan actually released such i stupid movie what where they thinking... oh god this movie was [awful]!!!
Rating:
Summary: unbelievable
Review: This might have been the best movie I've ever seen. It is the funniest movie I have seen in a while. The item is simply the best villian I have ever seen. It is extremely funny and this movie has some of the funniest lines in it that I've ever heard. The part where the item talks make this one of the best movies ever. The end is incredible, who would ever see that comming. It was a great funny ending. Whoever made the ending to this movie is a comic mastermind. I think they put this movie under horror because of the title, but this is a real comedy. I would recommend buying this before even watching it. Once again this movie was incredible and should be an award winner.
Rating:
Summary: Jesus, lighten up. Cynics.
Review: This movie is great. Its funny, gory, violent, vulgar. Ths is what I call an "anti-movie". An escape. The Item is about 4 criminals who are holding what they find out is an alien overnight for a buyer. (The alien is the stupidist looking thing since Alf, but it's just a shell, I guess.) But this alien has a weird way of reading people and making them feel seriously sorry for themselves, making them crazy. The main guy is a heartless killer with a Freddy Kreuger-ish sense of humor. He kills like nothing in a sad/hilarious way. Everyone who is shot ends up with a gallon or 2 loss of blood with each bullet. The highlight of the movie is at the end of the movie when someone is shot once and the wall behind them is slattered witha tub of blood. Then they cough. And another tub shoots out. Ha ha ha... ohh, I'm a sick person. Anyway, most people won't like this movie. And I can't really understand why they always get hung up on all the bad stuff of a movie that they can't see the good in it. And I see a lot of good in The Item. I think the best thing about the Item is the stuff they do with the camera. Its filmed on what looks like a digital camera, but I dont care because the film is greast with the angles and movements. For example, when they are running. The are gliding, not moving around. The Background is moving but the camera stays at the same place. Beautifully made. Love it or hate it, there is a movie like The Item. Rent it. Watch it. Understand why real movies suck.
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