Curse of the Komodo

Rating:
Summary: UGGGH!!!!
Review: "Night of the Komodo" poses quite a few questions to the viewer, like what is the bigger thing in this movie, the Komodo, or the breast implants adorning the female stars, or could it be the false eyelashes also found on our damsels in distress? Another question posed; is red an actual eye color? The hero/head casino robber/muscle bound star looks like he just finished toking up before each scene and his eyes were the bloodiest part of this lame flick. The storyline is assinine, a doctor supposedly trying to create giant food, mistakenly creates these giant Komodo dragons instead, chalk that one up in the ooops column. I should have known better than to buy this turkey, but it was only $2 used, so once again I was subjected to a direct to video, "hey guys I borrowed my brother's camcorder let's go make a movie", lame excuse for a film. You know your in trouble when the movie begins and it's shot on video and not film!!! Avoid this thing at all cost!

Rating:
Summary: DRAGGIN THE DRAGON
Review: CURSE OF THE KOMODO is not one of the worst movies I've seen, in fact it's a lot better than some of my colleagues avow. However, the problem is the script; it takes too much time with dialogue when we should have more komodo action. Tim Abell, usually fun to watch, underplays his role so much he comes across as bored. William Langlois as the responsible scientist isn't gung ho enough; Melissa Brasselle and Gail Harris are almost interchangeable and don't seem as frightened as they should be; Jack Logan looks great in his muscle shirt, but he needs to work on his acting abilities. It's derivative and incoherent, but the special effects are actually pretty good 95% of the time. I found it entertaining, worth a rental at least.

Rating:
Summary: DRAGGIN THE DRAGON
Review: CURSE OF THE KOMODO is not one of the worst movies I've seen, in fact it's a lot better than some of my colleagues avow. However, the problem is the script; it takes too much time with dialogue when we should have more komodo action. Tim Abell, usually fun to watch, underplays his role so much he comes across as bored. William Langlois as the responsible scientist isn't gung ho enough; Melissa Brasselle and Gail Harris are almost interchangeable and don't seem as frightened as they should be; Jack Logan looks great in his muscle shirt, but he needs to work on his acting abilities. It's derivative and incoherent, but the special effects are actually pretty good 95% of the time. I found it entertaining, worth a rental at least.

Rating:
Summary: Curse of the Cheap Knockoff
Review: Fake blondes, fake boobs, fake broad--and a realistic-looking reptile that's treated so unrealistically that the characters appear to be shooting at a theme-park dinosaur! Thousands of rounds are blasted at the behemoth without it sustaining a single nick. The firing goes on and on, as though the director is struggling to fill an allotted time frame. (Other snail-paced sequences include a bra-less, cavorting babe and a macho mesmerized by an overflying aircraft while a copter offers a quick sprint to survival.) The viewer's sympathies are bound to veer toward the beast, which somehow manages to gulp down the hapless without squirting out a drop of blood. And then there's the germ-zapped zombies who pop up like actors who stumbled onto the wrong set. The creators of this miserable flick should have let the mostly competent actors simply ad lib the whole production. Then, no doubt, the audience would have been spared the absurdity of an is-something-wrong? line in the midst of a life-or-death debacle!

Rating:
Summary: Extremely dumb movie with some Russ Meyer style twists.
Review: I'll only hype up the few fine points in this one. Russ Meyer style woman, decent CGI Komodo Dragons.
OK I will also include what this movie lacks. A good screenplay. "Curse of the Komodo" should be called "Curse of the Dodo," as in Dodo bird because this film is dumb and completly lacks everything that makes a good movie, except for the Russ Meyer type of ladies. O ya there is a blatant nude scene just because there can be. The nude scene is the pretty long and enjoyable to watch. Beware, watch this only for laughs and please don't expect much of anything.

Rating:
Summary: Extremely dumb movie with some Russ Meyer style twists.
Review: I'll only hype up the few fine points in this one. Russ Meyer style woman, decent CGI Komodo Dragons.
OK I will also include what this movie lacks. A good screenplay. "Curse of the Komodo" should be called "Curse of the Dodo," as in Dodo bird because this film is dumb and completly lacks everything that makes a good movie, except for the Russ Meyer type of ladies. O ya there is a blatant nude scene just because there can be. The nude scene is the pretty long and enjoyable to watch. Beware, watch this only for laughs and please don't expect much of anything.

Rating:
Summary: Really Dumb Scientists -- Even Dumber Movie
Review: There is an island where scientists are running studies and tests in the hope of increasing the world's food supply. What makes the scientists dumb? 1) They are doing the experiments for the Department of Defense. 2) To reach their goals they are creating giant Komodo dragons (one of nature's greatest consumers). 3) A military test is run on the island and they are defeated by the dragons and the scientists say the experiment is not ready for that stage (how does this increase food supplies?).

The general in charge has to make some tough decisions regarding the project. The scientists in charge return to the island (why weren't they there to begin with?). To complicate things, some civilians in the form of casino robbers arrive on the island. They robbed an unusual casino, one that was thriving but had a parking lot completely empty except for their getaway car.

The Komodos are in charge of the island, there is no fuel for the electric fence (really just a series of sticks with lights on top) and the scientist's daughter is also his niece (small glitch in the script there). The trick is to get off the island without being eaten, being infected by the Komodo's saliva, or getting blown up by the military.

One thing that I will say in favor of the movie and that is the ending was better than I expected. The real ending that is and not the closing teaser. This one is really only for film gourmands or possibly at a party.

Rating:
Summary: Really Dumb Scientists -- Even Dumber Movie
Review: There is an island where scientists are running studies and tests in the hope of increasing the world's food supply. What makes the scientists dumb? 1) They are doing the experiments for the Department of Defense. 2) To reach their goals they are creating giant Komodo dragons (one of nature's greatest consumers). 3) A military test is run on the island and they are defeated by the dragons and the scientists say the experiment is not ready for that stage (how does this increase food supplies?).

The general in charge has to make some tough decisions regarding the project. The scientists in charge return to the island (why weren't they there to begin with?). To complicate things, some civilians in the form of casino robbers arrive on the island. They robbed an unusual casino, one that was thriving but had a parking lot completely empty except for their getaway car.

The Komodos are in charge of the island, there is no fuel for the electric fence (really just a series of sticks with lights on top) and the scientist's daughter is also his niece (small glitch in the script there). The trick is to get off the island without being eaten, being infected by the Komodo's saliva, or getting blown up by the military.

One thing that I will say in favor of the movie and that is the ending was better than I expected. The real ending that is and not the closing teaser. This one is really only for film gourmands or possibly at a party.

Rating:
Summary: This movie stinks!
Review: This movie is not about a giant lizard. It's about how endless the world's supply of bullets is.

When we are first introduced to the giant komodo, two characters start to shoot at it. Then a third character arrives and joins in. Eventually they get in a truck and drive away, shooting at the komodo as it pursues them. The komodo gets bored and leaves. That night the komodo attacks them and they shoot it. The komodo eats one and leaves. When the characters leave their fortress to get to a helicopter they get attacked by the komodo. They shoot at it. The komodo eats one, kills another, and leaves. Then, when they reach the chopper, the komodo attacks. Guess what they do?

ok...

LISTEN MOVIE PEOPLE! You have been shooting nonstop at this thing for the past hour and a half, and it doesn't even seem to mind! So when you start shooting at it now, I sincerely doubt it is going to do ANY THING! This movie was boring not because of plot or storyline, but because most of it is just people standing around shooting at a CG monster. Yay!

By the way, what is the deal with bad movies and actresses with strange accents? Is that some thing they teach at film school or is it just an annoying trend in films? One character in this movie goes from having an Australian accent to an American one to a Dutch one and then back to being Australian. One female character doesn't have a weird accent persay, but she looks like Hugo Weaving reliving his role from "Priscella, Queen of the Desert." Oh yeah, and why were all the women blonde?

But I digress, this movie is just one big waste of bullets. Heck, they even waste a perfectly good .44 automatic bullet in the end when the general kills himself. Tsk tsk!