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Ax 'Em

Ax 'Em

List Price: $14.99
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Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Crap
Review: Almost no editing and you cannot hear whats going on. I guess some people find the Yo Mamma jokes funny but would you really want to pay $5 to hear jokes you've heard before and weren't even that funny anyway. It looks like a highschool film project that failed. Don't waste your time, it's utter crap! WORST MOVIE EVER, it doesnt even have that "its so bad its good" quality.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Crap
Review: Almost no editing and you cannot hear whats going on. I guess some people find the Yo Mamma jokes funny but would you really want to pay $5 to hear jokes you've heard before and weren't even that funny anyway. It looks like a highschool film project that failed. Don't waste your time, it's utter crap! WORST MOVIE EVER, it doesnt even have that "its so bad its good" quality.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Greatest Human Acheivement EVER
Review: I can truly say, with neither fear nor trepidation, that this movie is the best movie ever to be created by the human race.

True, there is no acting to speak of, no plot, no editing, no discernable script, bad lighting, sound, and overall quality, but if you can watch this entire movie without collapsing into hysterics for at LEAST the last half hour, then you are probably no longer among the living.

I have never been happier with a purchase; this movie has added years to my life, and cured my various diseases. Buy it now, lest you miss out!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Ya'll bettah ax somebody!
Review: I don't know where to start with this review... there are so many things wrong with this movie that I cannot hope to mention even 1 percent of them. Let's try though:

The video on this steamer looks like it was shot with a hand-held VHS camcorder... and a VERY cheap one at that, you know, the kind you get at a pawn shop for $3.25 and still feel cheated. It appears that the guy edited the movie with the "pause method" on two VCRs, playing the "movie" on one VCR and recording it on the other one and pausing where he wanted edits. The more brilliant editing the guy did, the more the picture degraded... a friend of mine and I watched the VHS version of the movie, but I am certain that the DVD also looks like a 75th generation VHS copy of a 100th generation copy of an original that was submerged in some sort of pancake syrup.

The sound is barely audible throughout this masterpiece and, although this might actually be a good thing in the context of this film, the dialog in movies should usually be audible. You would have thought that he would have really wanted his audience to hear the "yo mama" jokes, but Mfume isn't even competent enough to pull that off. One little bit of dialog you could hear plainly is the director saying "cut" at one point... I guess he didn't hit the pause button quick enough during his 2-VCR editing job.

The "acting" is worse than anything ever put on film... one would be hard pressed to find a worse film made by 10 year-old kids who have found their dad's video camera.

Luckily, the movie was only 70 minutes or so and only about 60 minutes of that was actual "movie" time, as the first 10 minutes or so were pointlessly filled with some sort of lame, ghetto college talent show or something that consisted of a lot of idiots acting like idiots and saying things that couldn't really be heard because the microphone on the video camera wasn't sensitive enough to pick up their brilliant dialog.

The only positive thing I can say about this movie is that it ended. I am not sure why Amazon doesn't have a negative star rating, as this movie is not even deserving of a zero rating.

I am not kidding when I say that the worst of Ed Wood's movies looks like Citizen Kane compared to this pile of excrement. DO NOT buy or rent this movie... hell, don't even look at it or touch the box.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: was this even a movie?
Review: I don't know where to start.

This movie was IMPOSSIBLE to watch. The sound was awful, the video was BAD, the death scenes were HORRENDOUS and the plot was just plain DUMB!

I see no reason to even watch this movie.. not even for the comedic impact!

The only good scene was the "yo momma" joke sequence, and really who wants to endure 45 minutes of BAD movie until that?

Do yourself a favor and don't buy/rent/barrow/watch this movie. It will be 90 minutes of your life that you will NEVER get back. Watch a crappy new school slasher film instead.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Shocking? No. Interesting? No. Good Scrpt? No. Terrible? Yes
Review: I have seen some horrible movies in my day i.e. Kolobos, Battlefield Earth, The 6th Day, Final Destination, Rabid Grannies and countless others. But this one probably takes the cake. Word on the street is that awards are given to anyone who can sit through this entire movie. When i first started the DVD the movie began immediatly, no menu. i thought perhaps it was a preview, or a joke. i will start off talking about the film quality, which to be called sub par would be the understatement of the year. i have seen 1970's home videos that look like lord of the rings compared to this. on to the acting and script. in the rare occasion that you can hear the script over the terrible music and insistant hiss, which was set about 50 decipels above the talking, you will wish that the hiss covered that too. The "acting" in this movie is similar to skits people do with the camcorders when improvising. the plot in this "movie" is unknown to me, seeing as i fast forwarded through most of it. i admit, i will watch a terrible movie on purpose sometimes, just for laughs, this flick was beyond laughing though. i hope you aren't foolish and buy, or even rent this movie, in fact, it wasn't worth the time i spent typing this review.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Oh boy...worst movie in creation.
Review: I knew 2002 was a bad year, but I never knew why until now. This film is the backbone of a horror collection. The sound quality is beyond repair, fading in and out worse than a hand-made video camera. Have you ever seen a movie where the same scene is rewound and shown again right after the first time? If not, this is your time for the experience. Corny beyond the word...and why do the white people get killed? I must admit that I have not seen an all African American film before, but the cast brings a new vibe to horror genre. First of all, there are too many characters to keep up with. Second, they all talk over each other so much and so fast, you have no idea what they are saying (not that you could know with choking audio). And last, a large chunk of the movie is shot with everyone eating fried chicken. The story seems that it was created by several people who never got together to seal the deal. Yes, your kindergartener could do better. But I added this to my collection simpy because of what it is. Enjoy (or not)!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Can you stand torture
Review: If you like pain and suffering, then I HIGHLY recommend watching this. There aren't enough words to describe to the agony. If a 3 month old baby made this film, then the explaination for the quality of this movie would be understandable. However, these were grown people. These people had a "movie budget," "plot," "script," "actors," and an "experienced crew." The overall result was a "worse than normal" student film.

On the flip side....
If you need to relax your mind, have a good laugh, or just want to build mental endurance, then watch this movie.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: It doesn't get any worst than this.
Review: My first attempt at submitting a review for this film was rejected due to "inappropriate content". I will now submit a second review, this one without as much venom.

This is the greatest film of all time. Yimou, Kurosawa, Hawks, Ford, Bunuel have nothing on The Maestro who reached up straight into Heaven and pulled down this wonderful bundle of unicorn kisses.

Boldly adding misspelled words to the opening credits he defies you to understand his unattainable cinematic genius. No lighting, horrible sound and a $3 camera he's rebelling against the big budget studios. Using a cast on non-actors who all talk at the same time he is breaking loose of the shackles of coherency.

And in the greatest moment in the greatest movie ever made in the universe! Aliens couldn't make a film this good! He leaves in the word "Cut!" Ahhh. Pure ecstasy! I feel like I'm being smothered in kittens. Strawberry kisses and hugs for everyone! I love you.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: This film blows
Review: this film is a worse quality than a VHS. the plot is horrible and they could of gotten 2nd graders to play better roles.


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