Skinned Alive

Rating:
Summary: Is there a "0" star rating?
Review: This has to be one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. The gore to which others have referred is highly unrealistic, cheap, and poorly done; and I am just scratching the surface. I would make a reference to the acting if such existed in this waste of time; so let me just say that the line reading was horrible (No! Incompetent sounds more accurate). The story (uhm, let me try again; I did not mean to be misleading by suggesting there was actually a story here). The lack of a story is about a cannibalistic family that sells leather goods (human skin) out of their van. The van breaks down and they are invited to stay at the home of the mechanic fixing their van while it is in the shop (mechanics union article 1525: when approached by a one-eyed woman in a wheelchair and two incestuous humping siblings, you are obligated to invite them to stay in your home). There is a next-door neighbor, an ex-cop, who is suspicious of the family (they kill people on the front lawn in broad daylight and he is just 'suspicious'; no wonder he is an ex-cop). That covers about as much plot as you will find in this piece of s**t yawner jokingly called a movie. It is a damn shame that Fangoria would rave about crap like this just because it contains gore, irregardless of whether it is any good. Now, let me tell how I really feel about this movie (: Bob

Rating:
Summary: gorey but all together low budget and [poor] acting
Review: I won't go into the plot since it is well described in another review. My problem with this film is that it is just too long and directionless. Early in the film it is a half decent black comedy with over the top gore (which prevents it from becoming scary or suspenseful), and the special f/x and performances are pretty good for the very low budget. But after a while the constant bickering between the cannibalistic family members just becomes annoying and the wait for anything resembling a plot progression becomes unbearable. It seems the scriptwriter's main goal was to showcase his skill at penning insults. Read Peter Milligan's graphic novel "Eaters" instead for a black comedy about a family of cannibals that has actual wit and biting satire.

Rating:
Summary: Quit While You're Ahead
Review: I won't go into the plot since it is well described in another review. My problem with this film is that it is just too long and directionless. Early in the film it is a half decent black comedy with over the top gore (which prevents it from becoming scary or suspenseful), and the special f/x and performances are pretty good for the very low budget. But after a while the constant bickering between the cannibalistic family members just becomes annoying and the wait for anything resembling a plot progression becomes unbearable. It seems the scriptwriter's main goal was to showcase his skill at penning insults. Read Peter Milligan's graphic novel "Eaters" instead for a black comedy about a family of cannibals that has actual wit and biting satire.

Rating:
Summary: Nobody told us not to blow the entire budget on gore
Review: Skinned Alive is a gory movie; that's all it tries to be, and it is succeeds in that endeavor. Although it wasn't quite as shocking as I expected and hoped it would be, it's still much more blood and guts than your normal, non-horror addict would want to see. I wish I could say that the title accurately reflects what happens in this movie, but I cannot-on occasion, people are killed before actually being skinned. What we have here is a truly dysfunctional family traveling the country pending their wares-they are tanners, you see, but their product is unique in the trade. Cows aren't good enough for them; they will settle for nothing less than human skin; naturally, that involves some poor unfortunate victims having to donate their skins unwillingly, but every entrepreneurial endeavor has its problems. The head of the family is "Crawldaddy," a crippled, foul-mouthed, one-eyed, twisted woman who continually berates and beats up on her two adult children and often insists on being called Daddy. Then there is her son Phink, who can actually pass for halfway normal at times, but is prone to frequent fits of annoying laughter and blunt instrument-swinging. The young lass completing the insane trio is Violet, chief skinner of the group and a woman who really enjoys her work. There's also a little incestuous thing going on between brother and sister, as if they aren't dark and twisted enough already. After killing a hitchhiker and an overweight stranded motorist, the family faces a major setback, namely the failure of their van to start. By necessity only, they come to town to get the van fixed, and the exceedingly naïve mechanic Tom puts them up in his own house for the night. The family quickly gets back to work, going on something of a major killing spree. There is an ex-cop living next door, but his perpetual state of complete inebriation is a definite handicap in terms of his discovering and trying to stop the killers. There is a weird but not wholly unexpected twist at the end, but it's nothing to get excited about.

If you like to see blood, then you may want to have a look at this schlock horror film. There's plenty of it, and the gory effects are rather well done for the most part. You've got knife wounds, stabbings, and impalements; blows to the head, body, and legs with hammers and mallets; and very satisfyingly realistic gunshot wounds. One of the guys gets his hand on a machine gun, and, let me tell you, he doesn't believe that overkill is a bad thing at all. I am pretty confident in saying that this is a movie for gore lovers only; the flimsy plot, exceedingly atrocious acting, and occasional ill-designed attempts at some sort of comedy offer nothing on their own to even the sickest of horror fans. I can sum this movie up in three words: blood, guts, cursing. That's pretty much all there is to Skinned Alive.

Rating:
Summary: Nobody told us not to blow the entire budget on gore
Review: Skinned Alive is a gory movie; that's all it tries to be, and it is succeeds in that endeavor. Although it wasn't quite as shocking as I expected and hoped it would be, it's still much more blood and guts than your normal, non-horror addict would want to see. I wish I could say that the title accurately reflects what happens in this movie, but I cannot-on occasion, people are killed before actually being skinned. What we have here is a truly dysfunctional family traveling the country pending their wares-they are tanners, you see, but their product is unique in the trade. Cows aren't good enough for them; they will settle for nothing less than human skin; naturally, that involves some poor unfortunate victims having to donate their skins unwillingly, but every entrepreneurial endeavor has its problems. The head of the family is "Crawldaddy," a crippled, foul-mouthed, one-eyed, twisted woman who continually berates and beats up on her two adult children and often insists on being called Daddy. Then there is her son Phink, who can actually pass for halfway normal at times, but is prone to frequent fits of annoying laughter and blunt instrument-swinging. The young lass completing the insane trio is Violet, chief skinner of the group and a woman who really enjoys her work. There's also a little incestuous thing going on between brother and sister, as if they aren't dark and twisted enough already. After killing a hitchhiker and an overweight stranded motorist, the family faces a major setback, namely the failure of their van to start. By necessity only, they come to town to get the van fixed, and the exceedingly naïve mechanic Tom puts them up in his own house for the night. The family quickly gets back to work, going on something of a major killing spree. There is an ex-cop living next door, but his perpetual state of complete inebriation is a definite handicap in terms of his discovering and trying to stop the killers. There is a weird but not wholly unexpected twist at the end, but it's nothing to get excited about.

If you like to see blood, then you may want to have a look at this schlock horror film. There's plenty of it, and the gory effects are rather well done for the most part. You've got knife wounds, stabbings, and impalements; blows to the head, body, and legs with hammers and mallets; and very satisfyingly realistic gunshot wounds. One of the guys gets his hand on a machine gun, and, let me tell you, he doesn't believe that overkill is a bad thing at all. I am pretty confident in saying that this is a movie for gore lovers only; the flimsy plot, exceedingly atrocious acting, and occasional ill-designed attempts at some sort of comedy offer nothing on their own to even the sickest of horror fans. I can sum this movie up in three words: blood, guts, cursing. That's pretty much all there is to Skinned Alive.

Rating:
Summary: gorey but all together low budget and [poor] acting
Review: this film as gore filled as you could expect from the title is shameful, i have never witnessed such poor acting, lack of storyline and over embelishment of fake blood. The main characters are as wooden as well, wood! all in all the £4 i paid to rent it was wasted, if your looking for blood and gore this is your film but if you want something that resembles a storyline you're better off reading a book, i still cant believe i sat through the whole thing.