Rating: 
Summary: Discombobulated & Disappointing
Review: Okay, a man suffers a terrible demonic experience in the woods and winds up committed to an asylum, where he desperately clutches a protective device. The protective device is taken from him, and he suffers the long-delayed vengeance of the infernal powers. Sound familiar?It should, especially if you've seen the old movie EQUINOX, from which 13TH CHILD snagged its plot. The trouble is, 13TH CHILD doesn't make a lick o' sense. It even throws in the major plot "surprise" of the old Hammer film CURSE OF THE MUMMY'S TOMB, and only adds to the confusion thereby. (SPOILER ALERT: Skip to the next paragraph NOW if you haven't seen this movie yet.) Cliff Robertson turns out to be the Jersey Devil's immortal brother, and the Devil is cursed to exist as long as Cliff lives. Guillaume shoots Cliff, and the Devil and Cliff vanish. Then, in the classic cliched tradition of the last "jump" before the end credits, they return without rhyme, reason or explanation to wreak some final havoc. The trouble is, the plot has so many holes that the Jersey Devil could fly through them with both wings spread out to maximum, without even touching the sides. We see Riley (Robert Guillaume) committed to a state mental institution (unimaginatively dubbed "New Jersey Mental Health Facility"); trouble is, later in the movie he shows up in the Pine Barrens in the good ol' nick of time to save the day. Except he never left the asylum! So how did he get out in the woods? and how did he wind up back in the asylum afterwards? A piece of truly idiotic writing, which is doubly disappointing since star Cliff Robertson receives co-writing credit! What truly makes watching 13TH CHILD such a frustrating experience is the fact that a lot of good talent went to waste, as well as the brilliant idea of shooting the film in the Pine Barrens, long the JD's legendary home. The location work adds some much-needed atmosphere and a sense of creepy, lurking menace. The peformances are excellent, and much of the banter between Kathryn, Ron and Mitch has a lot of snap, humor & characterization. Although the plot is creaky and incomplete, one senses a good story waiting in the wings. Sadly, it never appears. Instead, we're treated to cops who routinely practice illegal entry and illegal search & seizure, a lot of pointless closeups of snakes and spiders (ooh! creepy!) and long-winded go-nowhere monologues from Robertson. Sadly, the film even betrays its own logic since (2ND SPOILER ALERT - SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T WANT THE PLOT GIVEN AWAY) the Devil is traced back to a Lenni-Lenape shaman (bad folklore here, folks) and then presents the highly Caucasian Mr. Robertson as the Devil's brother! The Devil is even given a name, Bruno! Not a very Amerind name, now is it? The film never even explains the "Indian bones" that have protected Guillaume from Robertson's vengeance. A big deal is made out of them, but no back story is ever provided. The director mostly does a fine job keeping the film going, and the Devil himself is no letdown when we finally see him. He's a creepy, impressive monster. It's just a shame the writers couldn't come up with a plot that could hold an ounce of water, much less blood. There's even a nice twist on the "naked lovers surprised by the evil force" scene, obligatory ever since HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13TH. All in all, 13TH CHILD VOLUME ONE will probably be the last volume. And if there are any more scripts like this one in the works, maybe that's a good thing. One HUGE caveat: the DVD is advertised as widescreen, but it's actually coded only in fullscreen mode. You can search the root menu until your fingers turn into Jersey Devil claws without finding this option.
Rating: 
Summary: A worthless piece of cr@p!!!
Review: This is a total waste of time. Terrible "acting"(lol), Aweful special effects, terrible lighting, direction, production, soundtrack, blood, did I leave anything out? Plot? What plot? I don't even believe this had a plot, so if it's there please someone point it out to me, but be warned you may be looking for a whil. I got this thinking it would be a silly gory cheezy horror film. What I got was a terrible "film" that was to bad to be good, and not cheezy at all, but I do this as a service to the rest of you, don't see this or any other film made by these people/company etc... A perfectly good waste of a dvd.
Rating:
Summary: Interesting premise just badly acted and badly shot
Review: This movie is just one of those B-movie wonders that spring out by the dozen over the course of the year. They aren't made to really affect you in any way, but moreover are created to hopefully illuminate the careers of either some budding young actors, or rekindle those of some Hollywood has-beens! Well, 'The 13th Child' doesn't do either for either genre it's sad to say as this flick is about as scary as watching the lastest cartoon 'Scooby-Doo Mystery' and about as absorbing as watching paint dry! That said, the only bright spot of the flick is the over-acting by ex-'Soap' star Robert Guillaume! And if you blink you'll miss the beautiful Lesley-Anne Down in her 3 minute role!
Rating:
Summary: The SNORE-INATOR
Review: Was it awful, yes. Was it confusing, yes. Was the acting bad, not really, the girl inspector was good, Robert Guilium was good, the Rangers were good enough. The story pretty much sucked though. The creature would have been better if never seen. I would have given the movie 3-stars if the creature where only seen in shadows. I think the problem was that the story might have been decent (in a book or comic), but was not designed to translate very well into a movie.
Rating:
Summary: I watched it, what else can I say.
Review: Was it awful, yes. Was it confusing, yes. Was the acting bad, not really, the girl inspector was good, Robert Guilium was good, the Rangers were good enough. The story pretty much sucked though. The creature would have been better if never seen. I would have given the movie 3-stars if the creature where only seen in shadows. I think the problem was that the story might have been decent (in a book or comic), but was not designed to translate very well into a movie.
Rating:
Summary: The 13th Child [stinks] and ruins the Jersey Devil Myth
Review: What the other reviews FAIL to comment about is how this movie DESTROYS the Jersey Devil myth. I am very familiar with the Pine Barrens and assure this is NOT the legend. The book that this film is based upon is a better resource and gives an interesting historical perspective of the myth. If you cross the worst 1970's made for tv movies with these cheap currently airing syndicated X-File clones, you can imagine the production quality. The locations are true for the atmosphere but you can forget the rest. There is no use commenting on the acting. This is just another example of clueless directors rewriting a classic story (think Grinch) and presenting their failed vision as a tasteful product and worse yet it's not even a "good" bad movie. Let's hope the devil rips off their heads. The 10 minute featurette, however, is good.
Rating:
Summary: THIS WAS A MOVIE?
Review: Yeah I kinda wished I researched more about this movie before renting it. The picture looked cool...sigh... Anyways. I think my complaining has already been done by you guys, but I'll add a bit more.
FLAWS(Some):
1)Monster shown at the very end with no impressive movements, nothing to make it seem more realistic.
2)There were only one nudity part in the whole movie, very disappointing. One sex scene deserves another one I'd say.
3)The actors, especially the woman (bad memory forget the name), was horrible. Why? Why would a person even compare themself to Little Kim? That was...pathetic. The woman mostly smiles and is too sure of herself, ruining the feeling they were trying to create. Mr. Shroud was too obedient and not miserious enough. The two other actors both guys, weren't scared enough, too much confident in the actors ruined the movie. Many others as well. Oh yeah one last attack, during the part where she caught the two cops fishing something out of the river, which was a decapitated torsol (I can't spell either), a real woman would immediately divert their eye in disgust, back off quickly, or throw up, etc. All I remember that she did was maybe said ew or omg. BLAH.
4)Picture casting was bad, sometimes showing the wrong person at the wrong time with the wrong expression. Other times showing the wrong scene at the wrong time.
5)They needed more nudity! Oh wait I said that already.
Ways to make it better: Better actors, a better director, more monster action, more nudity(NOT OPTIONAL). Director should know what a real person would react. Also shooting the movie, the lightning in some cases is all wrong and ruins it.
Rent this movie only if you're bored and/or curious. Remember, just because it sucks to 99% of us doesn't mean it'll suck to you, thats one thing I found out.
Rating: 
Summary: Wow
Review: Yes, the acting and effects and blah blah blah weren't perfect, but I found the movie to be very good despite that. I wasn't even expecting anything that special when I rented it. However, the movie had a really eerie feel about it that totally creeped me out. The flaws didn't matter. The sensation was still there. A twisted and frightening low-budget flick based on legend, The 13th Child should at the very least be given a chance.
Rating:
Summary: Wow
Review: Yes, the acting and effects and blah blah blah weren't perfect, but I found the movie to be very good despite that. I wasn't even expecting anything that special when I rented it. However, the movie had a really eerie feel about it that totally creeped me out. The flaws didn't matter. The sensation was still there. A twisted and frightening low-budget flick based on legend, The 13th Child should at the very least be given a chance.
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