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Werewolf

Werewolf

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: the MOST STUPID movie in the world!
Review: Don't waste your time to watch this movie.
stupid acting, stupid make-up. Even the werewolf itself
will say "WHAT A WASTE OF MY TALENT TO SCARE PEOPLE!" HA HA HA!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Fans of Joe Estevez
Review: First of all, I would like to clear something up. The cover to this movie, sucks. It does NOT look cool. Second, what the heck was Mr. Zarindast thinking when he directed this piece of crap? Did he say, "I won't do this movie unless Joe Estevez is in it, I owe his brother a favor." Did he purposely direct this movie so that it would suck? I hope so, because that's what it is. Anyway, let me explain. All the actors have accents, and dumb names. An indian turns into a werewolf because he got in a fight and got pushed and fell on a skeleton. Joe Estevez was in the movie, then he disappeared. Then this guy moves in with an old man, gets hit in the back with the werewolf head, and thus, we have another werewolf. And kids, if making out in a car, and you see a werewolf, would you get out of the car just to run and fall and get killed by it? I didn't think so. This is an example of the script: Act 3 Parked car, boy and girl making out. Werewolf approaches. Girl sees werewolf. Girl gets out of car, runs. She falls. FALLING REQUIRED!! Werewolf kills girl. End scene. Just an example of great movie making. The werewolf doesn't even look decent. These guys need a tip from Michael Jackson's Thriller. They would have learned a thing or two. And the fight scenes, Whoa! They blew me away. Out of the room. Krap! When the werewolf is attacking someone, all you see is the stupid mask, and the man he is attacking blocks his face with his arms. You never actually see the werewolf attack, he has no arms (it wasn't in the budget) so the man gets wounds, and is bleeding. He may have just scratched himself with his own wristwatch. I am not sure. There is this whole billiard scene, which has nothing to do with anything. One amusing part is when an old security guard is injected with essence of werewolf, he gets into his car and drives. As he drives, he is changing into a werewolf. He eventually crashes. So, any werewolf fans, if your collection is lacking, please do NOT buy this. It is not worth it. If there are any Joe Estevez fans out there, you must buy this. The only other movie that I know of that he actually stars in is Soultaker. Thus, my review. I hope I have warned you before you watched this film, and for all the unfornunate ones who have seen this, there is therapy available. It's working wonders for me...

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Excellent Cheese!
Review: First off, for those of you wanting a good horror film about a werewolf (a beast that is half man, half wolf, and all B.O.)... well, there isn't one in existence. But for those of you who want a great comedy that was intended to be a horror film about a werewolf, look no further. It still boggles the mind how so many films get out of the idea phase (i.e. inebriated college buddies having a frat party on a Saturday night) and become actual films, that some invested money in to be made, and others invested time in making. Fortunately for us, it was the job of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to dig through the vaults of time, picking locks that never should have been picked, all the while showing us how truly wretched these B-movies really are. What? You're wanting to know the plot to this movie? Hey, who isn't. (Ha ha ha. Oh but we kid Werewolf, don't we?) Well, here goes. In a nutshell, the movie appears to be about a team of archeologists who unearth the skeleton of a werewolf. While one archeologist uses the skull of said skeleton in a fist-fight, another team member takes a blow on the arm from said skull and, of course, becomes a werewolf. From there all hell breaks loose, yadda yadda.... There's a forced love story and a lot of bad special effects thrown in the mix as well. The best part about the movie is the incredibly bad acting. Everyone from Joe Estevez down to the extras do their darnedest to deliver the horrid script with as little emotion and acting ability as they can muster. And they succeed! This is a movie that's so unbelievably cheesy you can't help but love it. I gave it three stars because without Mike and the bots at the bottom of the screen, you really have to use your noggin to connect all the horribly drawn dots in this movie. And hey, movies sure aren't about work, so screw that. But for those of you who have enjoyed the MST3K version, this is a great chance to see it in all it's digital, unedited glory. Not only that, but this is the super-secret, special, fantabulous "Gold" edition!!!! (Which basically means that they typed "Gold" on the cover and that's all). And it's pretty cheap, so why not?

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Werewolf is a perfect film to see around Halloween!
Review: I just want to say that just because the budget is low in Werewolf doesn`t mean that the film is bad.Ofcourse it has bad editing and the usual but this movie has such a halloweenish atmosphere that it is just a right film to watch around the spookiest time of the year,Halloween! Plus Jorge Rivero acted quite well and dispite Richard Lynch`s short part he too also pulled it off. Fred Cavalli is no Lon Chaney jr. but he is acceptable. There is just something about this film and I can`t say what makes Werewolf so good. When Tony Zarindast directed and produced Werewolf he really out did his self here. I am hoping to see a sequel to this fine movie in the near future!

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Choppy plot, inconsistant characterization, plot holes...
Review: I'm a fan of werewolf movies and books, and I have to say this movie bites. (No pun intended). The movie starts out in an Archaeological dig. So far, so good. As our intrepid crew of clueless Anglo archaeologists are unearthing a dig on Indian territory the bullied Native American workers unearth the bones of a centuries old loup garou.

As the crew are exulting over the find, (the werewolf skeleton), one of the archaeologists, Yuri, picks a fight with one of the workers causing him to fall on the bones and get cut. This worker is rushed to the hospital, where he turns into a werewolf. Next scene: Evil Anglo archaeologists are celebrating their 'find of a lifetime' and are just about to plan on how they can get more funding for their research, when the news of the worker's rampage reaches them.

What follows is a choppy plot, wherein, Yuri, taking a sample of the infected worker's blood, deliberately infecting a security guard in the hope of making a real life werewolf to exploit to the meida. The plan goes awry, as lycanthropy is spread unwittingly throughout the town.

This movie was simply cheesy. The acting was terrible, and every possible stereotype was exploited to its full potential. From running girl, tripping and falling and savaged by the monster to the evil Anglo 'mad scientist's' intent on making millions with their brilliant research.

What really bothered me the most about this movie,though, was that, half way through the movie the entire cast seemed to be replaced by an entirely DIFFERENT cast, and the focus of the movie shifted entirely. What happened to the Native American worker in the hospital? What happened to the skeleton? I guess we'll never know... And perhaps that's a good thing.... Next.....

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Well......
Review: It's hard to give an unbiast review of this movie after seeing it on MST3K, but I'll try to act as if I saw it comment free. It starts out at an archaelogical dig in Arizona, where the skeleton of a werewolf is unearthed. This starts a chain reaction of werewolves terrorizing the town. In an odd casting move, Martin Sheen's brother Joe Estevez appears early in the film and then seems to disappear! Anyway, eventually, the entire cast seems to be replaced by foreign actors, who can't act and can barely speak! While the make-up on nearly transformed werewolves isn't too bad, the continue to change until becoming ridiculous Halloween mask style creatures with bear bodies. A few scenes in this movie aren't bad, but they are so small, so few. I can't recommend it unless it's on MST3K, because it was the best MST3K I've seen so far.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I usually like Werewolf movies, but...
Review: Ok, I'll keep this short and sweet... if you're looking for a good movie... skip this. If you are looking to spend some money and the "werewolf" section of your dvd library wont be complete without this one... then by all means, go for it... but I was disapointed at the acting, plot, cinametography, special effects... you get the idea. The two best things about this movie are its cover (cause I must admit it looks pretty nice), and its end credits (which made me cheer because it was finally over)

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: New cover, same bad movie.
Review: This always was a bad movie. I was hoping the DVD would have interviews or behind the scenes (They must have been hilarious). Sadly it does not. Unsuspecting viewers will be fooled by the photoshopy cover on the DVD and the words "Gold edition" (which by the way is the same as the VHS edition only this time it says "Gold Edition"). Don't judge a book by it's cover: this one's a stinker.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Wereworst!
Review: This movie is pretty bad. Okay, okay......it is really bad! The acting is uncomparable. The directing needs a compass. The story and script should have been burned, or shot full holes with silver bullets. Hmmmmm....perhaps it was.... that explains it!

The breast sceens are largely apparent, and the cause of few poorly timed machismo fights. In one chapter a poor maiden, about to be eaten, runs into a pool of mud, the only problem is, her dress is muddy before she takes the dive. At least she did not have to worry about getting her clothes dirty.

Save your silver dimes. Trust me!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Anybody got a silver bullet? Anybody? Please?
Review: Uhgggh. This movie was just horrible. It begins where a crew of excavators unearths the skeleton of a werewolf in the Arizona desert. The fakest skeleton I've ever seen,loaded up with all kinds of knobby growths and claws.... The skull actually has bone ears growing from it---BONE EARS---I guess just in case you forget that it's a werewolf skeleton. Anyway, all you have to do is get scratched by the skeleton, and you turn into a werewolf!!! Like within twenty minutes. Oh dear God. One of the excavators, this withered, batrachian-looking creep named Yuri, decides, for no reason whatsoever, to run around and scratch people with the skeleton, thus making more werewolves. This scheme elevates him to the status of one of the guest villains from Josie and the Pussycats---and I think that in a fight the Pussycats would take Yuri down in round one.

At one point, Yuri drugs a security guard, then, I guess, infects him somehow. So the security guard wakes up, and walks out in the parking lot to his car. Along the way he starts growing hair and fangs, and doesn't even notice. He gets in his car, and drives off, while he continues to transform. Both of his hands stay on the steering wheel, and his driving doesn't seem to suffer AS HE TURNS INTO A WEREWOLF. HE DOES NOT NOTICE HIS OWN FUR-TUFTED CLAWED HANDS AT THE WHEEL! AND HIS HAT STAYS ON HIS HEAD THROUGHOUT THE TRANSFORMATION. I've almost wrecked my car dropping cigarette butts in my lap, and this guy turns into a hairy demon and doesn't even miss a stop sign.

As all of this occurs, Yuri is driving behind the guard, watching and grinning gleefully, though he is in a car three hundred yards behind the guard, it's night, and he can see nothing, he's still grinning like he just got lucky with a prom queen. I would have to say, avoid this movie like the plague of lycanthropy, and try to avoid the desert, because evidently that's where all the werewolves are.


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