Rating: 
Summary: Schlock Horror
Review: This movie may not be one of the classics of horror, but does offer a fun viewing on a Sunday afternoon, or a night with the guys (I know my wife would absolutely hate it). The no-name cast (except Adrienne Barbeau and Coolio) play the stereotypical college students well enough. I thought the Satanist who worked at Dairy Queen made the movie. If you're looking for something you can watch while disengaging your brain, this is the funny, stupid kind of film that will definitely accomplish this for you.
Rating: 
Summary: The Convent
Review: Where oh where do I start. Words escape me. I can't begin to describe just how FUN this movie is. That's right, horror can be fun. Ever wanted to see a movie that successfully pokes fun at goths, satanist and the odd cloaked gay boy in eyeliner? And did you ever wonder what zombies would look like in fleourescent lighting? Oh hunny, buy this flick, it shant disappoint you.If nothing more this movie is worth its price for the witty one liners and unique special effects. Such as "I'm a virgin, I'm saving myself for Marilyn Manson." and "My brothers going to be the antichrist? My mom's gonna be piss!" It gets the vampress.net stamp of b-horrory goodness approval. Buy it, Vampy said so.
Rating: 
Summary: Neon zombies and goth girls abound!
Review: Where oh where do I start. Words escape me. I can't begin to describe just how FUN this movie is. That's right, horror can be fun. Ever wanted to see a movie that successfully pokes fun at goths, satanist and the odd cloaked gay boy in eyeliner? And did you ever wonder what zombies would look like in fleourescent lighting? Oh hunny, buy this flick, it shant disappoint you. If nothing more this movie is worth its price for the witty one liners and unique special effects. Such as "I'm a virgin, I'm saving myself for Marilyn Manson." and "My brothers going to be the antichrist? My mom's gonna be piss!" It gets the vampress.net stamp of b-horrory goodness approval. Buy it, Vampy said so.
Rating:
Summary: Absurd, Idiotic, and Ridiculous....
Review: Where to begin? Hmmm. The wonderful plot. Not. The great acting? Hardly. The superb special effects? Yeah, right. This piece of tripe is about as mindless a piece of garbage as you could possibly see. Adrienne Barbeau must be hard up for acting parts or they paid her a lot. As for the rest of this cast you won't see them again except maybe in the unemployment line. In short, a waste of time and film. You would have more fun in the 90 minutes of this so-called movie playing solitaire.
Rating: 
Summary: Holy %$^&! This movie stinks!
Review: Wow. I would have given this flick 0 stars, but the opening scene is so incredibly cool I was compelled to give it 2 stars. It opens with a girl calmly walking into a mass, then bludgening, shooting and burning everyone within to death. Awesome!
Then we skip to the present day. The cast of characters is a bunch of jackass frat/sorority kids, including the dork who will never get laid, and the kissass pledge. We also have a goth chick and her former goth-chick turned sorority girl friend.
They go into the convent, but leave when the campus cops call them out. all except the goth chick, who has a police record and bribes loser buy into keeping her presence silent by giving him her panties (cue 16 candles jokes). She gets knocked out and later wakes up tied to a pentagram, about to be sacrificed by a bunch of loser satanists. Meanhwile, outside, one campus cop, played by Coolio, is a psycho. Get this, a girl, covered in blood, runs screaming towards him yelling "help me officer, they're being killed". What does he do? He PULLS HIS GUN ON HER and yells "stay back creature of the night!". What?
Then, later on, we are told that the girl who killed all the nuns actually did it to drive away the demons that had taken over the convent. Get this, the nuns all turned into demons, and started writing "Hail Satan" on the blackboard, and NO ONE notices and keeps their kids home. OOOOoh, that sounds good. Gee, didn't the nasty, glow in the sark faces and fangs at least make people think maybe there was a problem? Oh, I forgot about the dumbass satanist wannabes who summon up the evil. They are lead by a wimp with a highpitched voice. His followers say wonderful things like "Am I worthy, master? And, I would die for you, son of Satan". Luckily, he gets stabbed in the eye and dies. I would go on, but I think you get the point.
It's a shame, this movie really had potential. It could have been really scary. Instead, it is just lame.
Rating:
Summary: Night of the Demons 4? Nothing we haven't seen before...
Review: You know, it was really hard for me to dislike this movie, because I really wanted to like it. I first heard of it having trouble finding a distributor a few years ago, and heard it was outrageous, wild, gory, stylish - and so much more. I thought I was in for something new, but after a rousing start (nice, nice), the film becomes stunningly mediocre. Cardboard characters that have been in every teen fright flick since the late 70's populate the picture, and even the one character who should be original - the goth girl (who is absolutely beautiful) - is basically Angela from the Night of the Demons series. In fact, the echoes of NOTDs are everywhere from the makeup to the gore (yes, NOTDs 2 even had decapitated nuns). At a trim 81 minutes, you'd expect the sensational subject matter to pack a wallop, but outside of the opening and a neat flashback sequence, its all really rather contrived. At times, it seems the filmmakers were trying overly hard to be un-pc, and it does feel a bit juvenile. With such a short running time, there should be no pointless scenes, but instead of wall to wall carnage, we get a couple of scenes in a diner, some inane chatter amongst the teens to establish 'character', and a really cheesy ending. It does have its moments, some good gore, a bit of stylish photography. Pitty more wasn't done with the effort.
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