Rating: 
Summary: Straight out of a litterbox comes this piece of dung!
Review: Where do I begin? Let's start with the 5-year old...There's a 5-year old who found a movie camera covered with knobs and buttons. After pushing the knobs and buttons, the 5-year old discovered that the picture would fade in and out and go all fuzzy. "Zowie!" said the 5-year old. "Suddenly, I'm an artistic genius!" That's the cameraman. Then, one day a circus clown was cleaning off his makeup and yanked off his big red rubber nose. He rubbed his aching feet, blistered from the cheap, oversized clown shoes. "There's got to be a better way to make $7 a day!" he lamented. Then he saw an ad in Variety. "Wanted: Idiot to direct a movie about bigfoot and the warmth of the human heart. Pays $37 cash!" The clown, whose name was Jonas Quastel, exclaimed "Whoopie! That's a great job for a clown!" Then he signed the contract. That's the director. Then some commercial fishermen hauled in their lines and began to cry. Instead of nice big salmon, they found that they had hauled in a school of suckers. That's the supporting cast. Then, one day, a reasonably talented character actor named Lance Henriksen was sitting at a poker table, stark naked. In his hand were two threes. He lost the hand and had nothing left to take off. His opponents made him sign a contract to play a billionaire who hires a bunch of cretins to hike into the Pacific Northwest to locate his lost daughter, downed in a plane crash. Of course, secretly, he is only looking for a genetic mutation computer device (the same one Michael Crichton would have thought of had he been whacked on the head with a railroad spike), the very thing that would tell the user that, for example, a piece of hair or drop of blood actually belongs to AN UNKNOWN ANIMAL!!! (insert loud background music). Lance would later hunt down his poker opponents and bludgeon them to death with a frozen side of beef. Don't even get me started on the screenwriter. Evidently, he/she/it began their screenwriting career by reciting a thousand times: "James Bond movies are works of genius, and this movie about bigfoot and the warmth of the human heart will be my ticket to the big time!" The screenplay to this film ranks alongside "Manos: The Hands of Fate," "Attack of the Killer Shrews!" and "Wild, Wild World of Batwoman!" Now to drop the cherry on this particular cake of human dung. As to the claim that it is BASED ON A TRUE STORY!!! Evidently, some group of people did go looking for a missing person and came across a plane wreck. One of the group returned to claim that bigfoot was responsible for the whole thing. The rest of the group said that was a ridiculous crock of idiocy, the man was institutionalized for being a lunatic, and the whole matter was dropped...until... SASQUATCH! The Movie! Thank you, Hollywood, for once again plucking from the filth-strewn garbage of human society, the stupidest possible story on which to base a motion picture. Now I must go and gargle with a pint of boiling Lestoil.
Rating:
Summary: A Misleading Disappointment!!
Review: Wow!! This movie was horrible. I thought I was watching MTV's Road Rules meets Bigfoot. Lance Henrikson(lead actor)appeared totally dis-interested. I WAS totally dis-interested. Not only was the acting subpar, the makeup was amateurish. Bigfoot looked like a combination of a gorilla and the vampire Nosferatu.You don't have to look too hard to see good 'ol Sasquatch's bald skull cap. Check out Legend of Boggy Creek for good Bigfoot fun!
Rating:
Summary: A Major Disappointment!!!
Review: Wow!! This was horrible! I thought i was watching MTV's The Real World meets Bigfoot. The plot was weak and the acting weaker. Lead actor Lance Henrikson looked absolutely dis-interested. I WAS absolutely dis-interested. Now folks it gets worse. The makeup was scary...and not in a good way. You don't have to look too hard to see good 'ol bigfoots bald skull cap. Yep our buddy Sasquatch needs rogaine in this Bigfoot installment. My advice: Check out Legend of Boggy Creek. It's good Bigfoot fun, a little cheap n' cheesy but it doesn't take itself too seriously like this waste of film!!
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