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Vampires

Vampires

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Terrible!!!!!!!
Review: This is one terrible movie that I've only watched it once, and I don't care to ever see it again. John Carpenter should have known better. I can't believe James woods starred in a movie like this. I can't believe they dusted the vampires using high tech equipment that was so cheesy. I thought the whole movie was a fluke. I'm am so used to seeing the old wooden stake through the heart, that may be the reason I couldn't really get off into them using high tech weapons, hooking the vampires up to a machine, dragging them outside to be cooked, then dusted off by the sun. What's worse is that I thought that when a vampire has been turned to dust there is nothing left but, dust. Any true fans of vampire movies know that when a vampire has been dusted there is nothing left so, Why did they still have skulls left after they cleared out the vampires lair they found in the desert?. I thought this movie was very disappointing because I expected to see a good vampire movie based on the previews I saw. I am so glad that I waited for video. If I could sum this movie up in one word I would have to say "CROCK"!!!!!!!!!.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: John Carpenter's VAMPIRES
Review: VAMPIRES, a film by horror master John Carpenter, tells the story of Jack Crowe, a man in charge of a team of vampire exterminators that travel throughout the country, killing bloodsucking vampires for the Catholic church. Jack's newest mission is to stop a 'master vampire' named Valek from getting his hands on a cross that will allow all vampires to walk in the sunlight and become more powerful than they already are. This film has action, horror, suspense, humor, and nudity --- everything that makes a John Carpenter film a classic! James Woods also gives an excellent performance as Jack Crowe, the tough-guy vampire killer who shows no mercy!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: #1 on my list of Worst Movies Ever.
Review: This movie amazed me, that I could actually sit through it. Even if you thought Anaconda was a great movie with a suprise ending, you'll STILL hate this movie.

The method of killing the vampires was original and well done. And was the entire basis of the movie, trailer trash chases vampires, which aparently 'gives him wood'. Never even vaguely scary, with all the plot of a porno. Don't even bother!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: it has good action
Review: great action, great plot. the only thing i dont agree is that they bash catholicism but any way the slaying of the demonic vampires is good. their is some nudity but sex is not in there.great performances by the actors who starred in this movie. i wish the movie was longer, becuase it went fast, but that is because the action was good, along with the plot--recommended. recommended

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Don't Believe the Bad Rap This Film Originally Received
Review: There's nothing like having absolutely no expectations of a film to get you to enjoy it.

When this first came out, it got horrible reviews, and people said it was a waste of time. Consequently, I never saw it. When I recently sat down to watch it, I was surprised at how entertaining it was.

I love John Carpenter films. They're all really, really good B-movie horror flicks. And Vampires is quite in this tradition.

I suppose those who have read the book have a right to hate this if they want. Also, people who are into "Anne Rice vampires" will detest this film - it derides such literary images of vampires. The film takes the view that vampires are merely animalistic, very violent creatures with almost no human-like qualities. No romantic appeal here.

The plot starts from a very simple premise: what if being a vampire slayer was like being a more typical pest exterminator? Using that as a platform, it makes logical steps: vampires are violent, powerful, and dangerous ... and so their exterminators would also acquire some of these traits.

We follow along with a man who's whole life has been oriented around nothing but this job, and we see the side-effects of such a life. This gives Woods the opportunity to be at some of his best: uncompassionate, angry, violent, but very driven in his job and with a gritty honor about him.

There's a lot of gore and shocking violence, so be forwarned. It's also a very macho film, and there's some very non-politically correct dialog. But there's also a lot of the creeping atmosphere you expect from a vampire movie, a satisfactory resolution, and quite a few strong performances from the cast.

Don't listen to the original poor reviews this movie got. It's very entertaining in the way that good B-movies can be.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: not for fans of the book
Review: If you poke through the customer ratings here, you'll notice a common theme (with some exceptions, of course): people who read the John Steakley book on which this film is (loosely) based hate the film, and folks who've never read the book love it. I read the book just this past week and liked it a lot (though it has its own share of flaws), and had to see the flick after finishing the novel. While I don't think this film is terrible, it's not anywhere near as good as it would have been had Carpenter followed the original story a bit more closely. Just about everything that made the novel special, especially the characterization of the main character Jack Crow, is gone here. Fans of the flick may be surprised to know that Crow is not the flaming a**hole in the book he is here. I found it hard to have any sympathy for Crow or his assistant Montoya. They're supposed to be hardened by the horrors they've witnessed and committed, but instead they just come off as self-centered cretins. (Despite the fact that James Woods is absolutely the perfect choice for the role of Crow.)

That said, even if you've never read the book, you'll still find some flaws that can't be overlooked. Sheryl Lee overacts something terrible in her role as the prostitue slowly becoming a vampire, and the ending is absolutely ludicrous, defying the film's own internal logic. Most of the action sequences are done as montages (!), and the gore is a bit too over-the-top. Maximillian Schell is a fine actor, but his character (who isn't in the novel) was unconvincing and obviously merely a walking, talking plot device. There are some heartpounding moments here, like the opening sequence (one of the few scenes taken pretty much directly from the novel) and Thomas Ian Griffith makes a nicely scary vampire, even if he's given about three lines in the whole flick. His origin (which leads into the origin of vampires in general) is also quite intriguing. But that's not enough to save the film.

Of course, anybody who's never read the novel will disagree strongly with this. If you don't know what's been left out, you can enjoy this as a particularly violent, not particularly well thought-out but reasonably satisfying action/horror B pic. Nothing wrong with that.

A word about the commentary: this is the most useless and dull director's commentary I've yet to hear. Carpenter goes it alone, and with no one to prod him into saying anything interesting all we get is comments like "Even though this was supposed to take place at night, we shot it during the day" (ad nauseam) and constant exhortations to listen to the (Carpenter-composed) soundtrack. I would have liked to know why he deviated so far from the source material - that would have made an interesting story.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Absolutely dull.
Review: Director John Carpenter's career is virtually over by now. I don't care what Ghosts of Mars is like because I won't be watching it. After directing such fine horror films as The Thing and In the Mouth of Madness, he's gone way downhill with Vampires, a horror flick that is always dull and boring, without a single scare. Other than a fun performance from James Woods, everything about this movie is hackneyed and unoriginal. The movie takes such a routine approach that everything feels derivative.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Based on John Carpenter's Vampires? I DON"T think so!!!
Review: John Carpenter's Vampires is one of the best Vampire books I've read. I was utterly disgusted by what they did to it! Don't watch this movie if you've read the book! Like so many book adaptations, They took the title, the main charactors, the basic story "hook" and threw away the rest (99% of the original story). Trust me, Don't waste your money by even renting this movie with a bunch of friends. It's not even worth 50 cents. READ THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Saw it once, Haven't watched it since.
Review: I saw this movie in the theater, and thought it was great, but when I bought it on DVD, I just could not bear watching it again.

If yo uhaven't seen this movie, rent it, or better yet borrow it, but don't buy it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Sweet lord, you people are indiots! This Movie is AWFUL!
Review: Before I rip this movie into shreds, I must give credit to two things: 1. The Opening. It delivers lots of guns, gore, and Danny Baldwin. 2. James Wood's sunglasses and leather jacket. OK, that's really 3 things. Now that I have found the 3 good things of this movie, it's time to cut loose. After the beginning, the movie falls into one of many whirlpool like plotholes. The band of "Vampire Hunters," clad in Ray-Ban sunglasses and BA Leather Numbers, reach there hotel hideout, where there are met by hookers and preachers. That was not a misprint. Get this. The Church ATCUALLY PROVIDES the sinful [ladies] for our heroes. Next, they try to force a vampire story down your throat of some kind, which goes nowhere and sets the tone for the rest of the movie, which is awful. But it does setup the best darn line I think I've heard in any movie for many years:

"the head vampire is UNSTOPPABLE, unless we stop him!"

I apoligize, but I was rolling on the ground for about the next ten minutes, so the plot got a bit sketchy. Let's just skip to the end, where Jamnes, jacket, shades, and all, heads off to stop the unstoppable vampire. Before he stiops the unstoppable, the unstoppable stops Danny Baldwin, or "The Bargain Basement Baldwin," as we had dubbed him, was stopped before he stopped becoming a vampire. James eventually stopps stopping the unstoppable by stopping his stoppinglessness. eveantually, the movie, er, stops....

To anyone who wants to rent, buy, or even gaze at this movie's cover, please, stop yourself....


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