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Valentine

Valentine

List Price: $19.98
Your Price: $17.98
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The worst movie ever made? It just might be.
Review: I won't bore you with a description of what's wrong with this movie because nothing at all works in it. From the derivative plot to the lame acting to the ridiculous "twist" ending, this movie is bad from start to finish. If you like bad movies or just want to torture yourself, then this might be a film for you. OK, it probably isn't the worst movie ever made (in a world with Baby Geniuses, Glitter, and Showgirls how could it be?), but it is God-awful. Renting this film would be a mistake. Just stear clear altogether.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Could've been better...read the book instead
Review: If you're one of the people who're going to spend all their time bashing this movie, at least read the book. It's better, trust me. I didn't catch this movie in theaters, mainly because of the blink-and-you'll-miss-it theatrical run, and because it opened a week before Hannibal. Instead I caught the DVD, and was rather disappointed, to say the least, since I am a fan of Tom Savage's novel and director Jamie Blanks' first film, Urban Legend.

The movie begins with a nerdy, bespectacled boy named Jeremy Melton (standing in for Victor Dimorta from the novel) asking some of the prettiest girls to dance at a Valentine's Day social in 1988. He's rejected by all but one, Dorothy. Jeremy and Dorothy are later caught making out under the bleachers, and Dorothy, out of shame, claims Jeremy attacked her. Jeremy is "Carrie"-d with a bowl of fruit punch dumped on his head, stripped and savagely beaten by his male classmates.

Fast forward 13 years and Shelley Fisher (Katherine Heigl), all grown up, is the first of the girls to be slaughtered a few days before February 14 by a cherub-masked Cupid killer as she carves up corpses at med school. Her former friends, Paige Prescott (Denise Richards), Kate Davies (Marley Shelton), Dorothy Wheeler (Jessica Capshaw) and Lily Voight (Jessica Cauffiel), are all somewhat-successful career women in vaguely-defined jobs who are scouring the San Francisco dating scene, 21st-century style, when they hear of Shelley's demise. Before long, Dorothy and Lily also receive threatening Valentines and Kate finds a Cupid mask in the elevator after someone breaks into her apartment. A local detective (Fulvio Cecere) inquires of the Valentines, which are all signed simply "JM." This of course brings up memories of Jeremy Melton, who apparently hasn't forgotten about the vicious Valentine's Dance from hell. But who does Jeremy Melton look like nowadays? Kate's on-again, off-again boyfriend Adam (David Boreanaz)? Paige's Turbo Dating pickup Brian? Dorothy's quasi-boyfriend Campbell? The detective? The answer is revealed at a huge Valentine's bash at Dorothy's mansion, where the killer drops by uninvited to create a Valentine's Day massacre, 2001-style.

I like Marley Shelton. Not only is she cute-as-a-button, but she does have talent, appeal and charisma to burn (but is not allowed to simmer with projects like this and Sugar & Spice). Denise Richards seems at home playing the man-eater again and I did sympathize with Jessica Capshaw's Dorothy (since I too was the fat kid nobody wanted to dance with in grade school). Jessica Cauffiel redoes her Urban Legends: Final Cut shtick and Katherine Heigl does a somewhat presentable job as this film's Drew Barrymore. David Boreanaz finally gets to smile and wear a colour other than black for a change from his show Angel, which is nice.
The movie was good, but having read the novel first, I was rather disappointed. I also didn't understand Hedy Burress' character Ruthie and why they even bothered to put her in here. Jamie Blanks doesn't do as quite a good a job as he did in Urban Legend but, hopefully, with the right project, he will show people he's not the directorial hack everyone perceives him to be. The score by Don Davis left a bit to be desired but served its purpose well. One thing I couldn't help noticing was the lack of red in the movie, apart from Dorothy's mansion. You'd expect a horror movie set on February 14 to be swamped with the colour but I guess it would've been an eyesore. My advice is to see the movie first and then read the novel, therefore disappointment won't be so high. BTW, I love the Valentine clips shown with Orgy's song Opticon.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Mixed feelings, scary yet predictable
Review: I really have mixed feelings concerning this movie. It is kind of thrilling and scary but at the same time too predictable. I guess that if you are the type of person who likes to figure out what is going to happen before it does, this would be good for you. It does have a twist at the end if you haven't been following the movie too closely. A definite rental for a Halloween party.

A group of friends from school suddenly start ending up murdered, along with a lot of other people! Is it the nerd from their past who they all suspect? Or is that just what someone wants them to think? Put your detective skills to use and crack this mystery before everyone else watching it with you does!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Where is Angle?!
Review: That's a movie for you; I won't even give you a hint about it. It is worth buying, a lot of talent and great performances.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Blah
Review: So, who was the killer? Was it the kid they picked on? Was it Adam? (was he the kid they picked on in disguise?) Was it Dorothy? What about the psycho guy in the beginning (Jason)? Why does he show up later? What point does the neurotic chic that keeps bugging Cameron have? Talk about loose ends! The cast was great and showed great talent, but I think that talent was severly wasted on pointlessness. The movie could have had great potential, but really kinda wanders off and doesn't make any sense. It's basically a big gore-fest. If you don't have to pay for it, watch it all you want, I don't suggest wasting the money to rent it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Scary? YEAH RIGHT!!! Stupid, trite and predictable? You bet!
Review: This movie is awful. It is an insult to everyone who saw it. I cannot believe I sat through this entire movie, in the theater no less (then again, I'm not one to waste money. But then again I saw this movie, so it's like a double edged sword on that one). No suspense. No thrills. Absolutely NOTHING scary about it. The plot is as thin as the paper it was written on (a waste of paper if you ask me, someone needs to call Fraud, Waste and Abuse on these guys). The acting was halfway decent, and that's not saying much. If you have seen this movie, then I feel for you... however, if you own this movie, you should be executed for being such a sucker. Anyone who dares compare this movie to such classics as Halloween, or even The Exorcist etc... needs to have their head examined (how dare you insult John Carpenter like that!)

I could go on about how bad this movie was, but It's not even worth it. If you have not seen this awful movie, then RUN!!! Run as far away from it as possible! It's that bad. Later

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Not Bad
Review: I went into Valentine with an open mind despite all the negative reviews and feedback I'd received. I wasn't expecting much, but I wasn't expecting the worst either. The story is very simple. A young boy, Jeremy Milton, was rejected by several girls at a dance back in junior high school. Several years later, the girls, now beautiful women are being stalked by someone. This someone is leaving them cruel and deadly Valentine cards.

The acting in the movie isn't very well done, but it's not bad to say the least. Katherine Heigl does a very good job with what she's given. David Boreanaz is shamefully underused, and the main lead, played by Marley Shelton, is weak in my opinion. The only one that did exceptionally well is Denise Richards. She pulled off her role with great brilliance.

Most of the scenes in the movie could have been better, but they weren't anywhere close to being bad. The movie could have also used some stronger character development. But even despite all this, I still enjoyed Valentine a great deal. If you're looking for a decent movie to pass time, then Valentine may not be a bad choice. I would recommend it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Stupid and ilogical
Review: Valentine started out good. It could of been a much better movie if they handled it well. The movie is predictable as nothing i have ever seen. Some of the killing scenes are ilogical and not original. For example: At a party girl hits the killer who falls unconscious, but instead of running were are all the people are, she runs in a room and hides, and I think you can guess what happens next. The story plot was original, but the movie overall was bad. The movie gives us so many clues as to who the killer is. There are scenes that have nothing to do with the movie and are put anyway. The ending would of been nice and surprising without the obvious clues. If you want to see a good scary movie see Scream, Urban Legend, Halloween, etc. Valentine could of been better. In the movie every time the camera follows a person who is alone, that person is killed, And I mean always except of course for the main character.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: didn't love it, didn't hate it
Review: Let me start this by saying first off that I watched this expecting a truly horrible movie. That said, I was a little-bit (not by much, but a little) pleasantly surprised. Didn't think it was terribly original, but didn't absolutely hate it either. As far as horror movies go, didn't think it was that bad.
There WERE a couple of loose ends, and quite a few things about this movie that were just WAY too close to other movies (particularly 80's flix). Also - I am a bit sick of the unpopular kids in school being pinned as the killers. I was one of those unpopular kids until college and really am pretty sick of the implication that WE would do things like this. After being treated really badly by other children growing up, it is upsetting to me that kids like me are "thanked" in this way.
Still though, I watched this movie to be taken out of the reality of the horrors that have occured in NY, WA, and PA on 9/11/01 and it did work. All in all, didn't love it, but didn't hate it either.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Love hurts! In this case, love is fun!
Review: This movie was wonderful! I loved every moment of it. I adore this genre. I mean, what's not to like: cool cast (featuring David Boreanaz, Marley Shelton, Denise Richards, Katherine Heigl, and Daniel Cosgrove), suspenseful scenes, clever writing, well-drawn characters, and elaborate death scenes. These things bring this film above the rest. Another thing this movie has, that (almost) no other horror film has: intelligence. Need I say more? [....]


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