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The Astro-Zombies

The Astro-Zombies

List Price: $9.99
Your Price: $9.99
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: One of Teds Best...
Review: TED KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN INDEPENDENT MOVIE... I loved this one. It's amazing to watch the movie quality. He shows his true love of movies and there direction and use of lighting in this.
Go buy this one. I loved it.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: What a mess!!
Review: This very confusing movie is about a scientist (John Carradine) who creates a bunch of "indestructible artificial men". These artificial men are to be used in space missions. However, one of them malfunctions and escapes the lab, only to begin a violent killing spree. We are later introduced to a lot of unnecessary characters (a group of evil spies, a female lab assistant, CIA agents, etc.), whose presence only help in making the movie more incoherent. Astro Zombies may have many flaws, but it still is quite an entertaining B-movie (not to mention a classic). There are some nice touches, like the creepy heartbeat sound indicating the monster's presence. The astro zombies look both cheezy and cool at the same time, and the plot is twisted enough to make most B-movie fans happy.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: What a mess!!
Review: This very confusing movie is about a scientist (John Carradine) who creates a bunch of "indestructible artificial men". These artificial men are to be used in space missions. However, one of them malfunctions and escapes the lab, only to begin a violent killing spree. We are later introduced to a lot of unnecessary characters (a group of evil spies, a female lab assistant, CIA agents, etc.), whose presence only help in making the movie more incoherent. Astro Zombies may have many flaws, but it still is quite an entertaining B-movie (not to mention a classic). There are some nice touches, like the creepy heartbeat sound indicating the monster's presence. The astro zombies look both cheezy and cool at the same time, and the plot is twisted enough to make most B-movie fans happy.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: B-movie commits cardinal sin....
Review: Unlike other truly horrible B-movies, like lets say Ed Wood's movies, this movie lacks the entertainment factor and becomes bogged down in numerous sub-plots and intricacies. Over all the movie is pretty boring.
Everybody is trying to get their hands on the "Astro-Man" who is sometimes referred to as an "Astro-Zombie." The Chinese spy, Satana, who never actually identifies herself as from that country, desperately wants to deliver the all-obeying "Astro-Man" to her government. The authorities and the mad scientist's former partner also are looking for the "Astro-Man" who was stupidly ressurected from a psychopath's brain and is now on a murderous rampage through town, killing off young gals.
The movie is flawed in almost every way. Many scenes are dragged on for much too long, especially in the labortories. The mad scientist talks to his wannabe Igor in B.S scientific lingo for a good chunk of the movie. If it made sense then it might have then made a valuable addition to the movie unfortunatelyu it does not and is as I earlier said B.S. The director decided to plop down numerous scens like this throughout the movie. Also it was never explained how the authorities came to the conclsion that a zombie was killing people. They tried to somehow make sense of it and they were not able to. Yes, I know this is a B-movie, it isn't supposed to make sense.
However the most egregious flaw in this movie is also what makes this a sub-par B-movie is that the zombies were only in the movie for about 5 minutes. The first zombie was exposed to us in the first 5 minutes then dissappeared for about half an hour. Instead the movie focused more on the ridiculous and boring sub-plot of spies and police officers which was neither funny nor scary nor anything that should be in a 'quality' B-movie. When we finally get some zombie action by the end on the movie we are already bored out of our minds and then dissapointed that that action oly lasts for less than 5 minutes.
The movie fails as a good movie but more importantly it fails as a B-movie as it is boring and overall not funny. I would recommend a little bit of use of the fast forward button if I were you.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: The template cold war spy/sci-fi movie.
Review: Why on Earth did I buy this film??? Two words: TURA SATANA.

The plot gets a bit confusing. The pressence of Robert Carradine is hardly explained. The make-up on the monster makes Roger Corman's team look like they are from ILM. Here is what you do get.

1. Tura Satana (Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!) showing constant cleavage as the domineering Red Chineese spy.

2. Some cheesey spanish-carribbean stereotype as the implied Cuban terrorist type. It is like seeing Fez from "That 70's Show" toting a switchblade and talking smack.

3. Wayne Rogers (M*A*S*H's Trapper John on TV) wrote and produced it. That is too weird to get my brain around.

Bottom line: You want to stare at Tura for about 30min of screen time? You like bad Sci-Fi, or weird Cold War mysteries? You don't mind the lack of nudity? Check this one out.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: GOTTA LOVE THE ASTROZOMBIES
Review: WONDERFUL B MOVIE MAYHEM. LOVED THE SPY STUFF, CARRADINE'S PSEUDO-SCIENCE, THE GREAT WIND-UP ROBOTS AND TANKS OPENING SEQUENCE,THE ASTOZOMBIES...HELL I DUG IT ALL! NOT GREAT ART (WHO EXPECTED IT TO BE?) BUT IT IS GREAT FUN!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Words cannot adequately describe...
Review: Words cannot adequately relate to you the utter pinnacle of human failure this movie represents. I can't think of any man-made or natural disasters, tragedies, or sheer acts of stupidity that even come close to matching the horror, torture, and the evil this movie makes you endure. Viewing this classic gem is like watching a truly neverending story. I constantly questioned "why" so many times during the film that I lost count during the first 5 minutes. Of course, you might say, "how could I possibly resist the 700 or so lobby scenes that inundate this homeric classic?" to which I reply, "The scenes shot without any lighting (aka the rest of the movie) were far superior." This movie is not even bad in a good way...I doubt that the Mystery Science Theatre guys would even touch this delightful pile of garbage for fear of going stark raving mad. In conclusion, I recommend that you buy this film, even if you have to spend your last dollars and are homeless on the street.


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