House of the Dead

Rating:
Summary: Just shameful
Review: How do they even get a budget for something like this? The
action is lame. It is basically about a bunch of teens that
want to go to an island to party. Once, a few get there they
notice that everybody else has dissappeared. They then en-
counter stupid looking "zombies" and have to fight them
off with women using Mortal Kombat like fighting skills.
It is amazing how these scared women quickly turn into
fighting machines.

The acting is terrible, the movie is one of the most un-
believeable movies I have ever seen. The girls aren't
even hot. ESP that black woman. Boy was she a beast! I
felt sorry for that dude that actally had to kiss her.
That was the most horror you will get out of this trash.

The holes in this movie are just to much. Everything just
seems so pointless. This movie might after got an extra
star had it be a parody. That's about as detailed as I'm
going to get for this movie. It simply isn't worth the
time or the effort.

Rating:
Summary: Don't...bother...watching
Review: Wow...you cannot find a more horrible zombie movie if you tried. Even older, black and white, not-so-gory zombie movies are better.

The movie's direction is terrible. They tried to make the movie like a video game. At a few points, and only for a few people, they did this little fade to red spot when they died, zooming in a circle around them. The director kept showing the same scene whenever a "zombie" was coming - the zombie running super fast past a group of trees in moonlight. Over and over again. He/she interspersed shots directly from the video game (presumably to show how the movie was progressing in the same way the story of the game did, but even this failed). When the last of the group (our last seven people), tried to get to the house, each one had a glory shot of them shooting the zombies with the camera taking a spin around them, just like a video game. I was waiting for their names to suddenly slide across the bottom of the screen.

Very few people had names, and since almost no one ever talked to anyone with their names, I learned only three, Greg, Simon, and Captain Kirk (yes, I know, Captain Kirk...they even joke about it in the movie). Worse, they were jacks-of-all-trades. They went from ravers at a party to super snipers al a Matrix. Then they changed again, this time into karate masters who can leap ten feet in the air and spin, all the while chopping up "reanimated homo-sapians". Each and every one of them. The worst was the end, when the last living girl takes up this big sword and starts fencing! Five minutes before she was shooting everything in the head! Remarkable aim...

Finally what is left of them manage to get to the House and suddenly they all fall in love, kissing and hugging...uh huh. We have Simon, our underwear model moping about how his face injury has ruined his job (it will, but I thought his character was still hot, injury notwithstanding), and suddenly that black girl (what was her name?), starts kissing him. Then our other Romeo is crying out (with horribly fake emotion) about how terrible he feels about letting another one of his "friends" die when suddenly he must kiss the other girl (what is her name, and what the heck was his?), and they fall in love. Strange, since he was in love with the aisian dancer ten minutes before (she was eaten alive).

Emotion...very little. The characters were quite fake, really. I could have done a better job, and I haven't been on stage in nearly six years. At one point, this one girl, who had been acting tough, calm and collected, suddenly breaks down crying about how "Cindy" (finally I remembered someone!) died and she can't believe it. Then ten minutes later she is again the voice of reason for the group - what happened to the tears?

No story, not really. We don't find anything out about the island until nearly the end and then it is over. And the movie tries to take a scientific view, but then trashes it. Our main bad guy creates blood that doesn't die, but all you have to do is just touch one drop to a corpse and they suddenly rise up and attack like they've just been sleeping for a while. And when finally his head is chopped off, this special blood allows him, and only him, to mentally control the rest of his body...riiiigghhtt.

The only good part in the visuals of the fights. There are almost no visuals of the zombies actually killing people - you only saw the moonlight running zombie (see second paragraph), and then the person screams and they are gone. But the Matrix-style fights were still cool, even if overdone...

Don't watch this - I'm begging you. Save your time for something good like Dawn of the Dead or Resident Evil (the first one, not the second)

Rating:
Summary: sick
Review: this was one sick movie too watch. sicne this movie has a nice story. that has a twist from the videogame.

Rating:
Summary: not too shabby
Review: this movie here was not too shabby too watch. which features hot girls, and action.

Rating:
Summary: action packed
Review: this was a very action packed movie too see. which has alot of nice scenes you could enjoy.