Rating: 
Summary: see this movie if you want a really sad depressing laugh.
Review: Alright. I didn't rent this movie because I thought it would be good, I rented it because I knew it would be horribly laughable. For the most part I was dead on, but as the movie went on I realized that people actually thought that this would be a good movie, and that they gave these people money to make it. People actually thought "hey people played the videogame so they must want to see a movie about it. I would just love to invest in your movie." The so-called "acting" in the movie is so bad you just feel sorry for everyone that appeared on screen. One scene really sticks out in my mind. The group of characters enters a room with a lamp, which is already burning. Well, one of the characters goes over and fiddles with the lamp anyway, like she's supposed to light it. Nothing could have saved this movie even if every female in the movie walked around topless, which they obviously tried to do in the first half of the movie. It's really sad that this movie even made it to theatres.
Rating:
Summary: A must see, for all the wrong reasons.
Review: Let me just say congratulations to Uwe Boll, for creating a masterpiece. This is not only one of the greatest zombie films ever, this is one of the greatest films ever, period. Mr. Boll has broken the longstanding tradition of horrible videogame-to-film adaptations.
Ok, not really, that first paragraph was just an example of acting. Not to be confused with anything attempted in this film. In fact, this is one of the worst movies ever. The situations in this film lack so much logic it's quite uncanny. Where a bunch of alcoholic college kids who came to an island for the "party of the century" learned to wield thier guns with such panache, is beyond me. I really doubt it was that rugged training they had to endure, which consisted of playing videogames and shooting paintball guns. Perhaps it was the training they got from the Zom-bat expert (that word is straight off the box by the way). Anyways, in the one part of the movie they tried to use logic, by explaining that one of the characters studied fencing, they can't even do that right. When she does sword fight, she never does anything that resembles a fencing move. Also, the editor might want to up the strength of his spectacles, because in one scene you can actually see the spring board that gives one of the zombies (that instead of being slow and sluggish like on other zombie films, are now able to jump like kangaroos) a boost. Director Uwe Boll actually states within the insert of the box, that we should not compare his film to a film like Citizen Cane. Well, talk about stating the obvious. Don't worry Uwe, I'm pretty sure your in no imediate danger of anyone doing that. Now I know this really wasn't meant to be an Oscar contender, but come on man put some effort into it, it's apparent you had at least some money, I mean you bought that marry-go-round for the camera to sit on for almost the whole film.
As you can see I gave this movie 1 star. Well, I'm taking that back. Stars are pretty, and bring back good memories of laying in a field with a breaze blowing on a mid-summer night. Instead I give House of the Dead 5 steaming piles of rhinocerus faeces. Now, if you are unfortunate enough have memories of that, they will be similar to your memories of House of the Dead, funny to talk about, but nothing you would want to go through again.
Rating:
Summary: What the hell is this movie, this ruins a great game.
Review: Its not a movie...this...thing.Its a real scrap thing.This is suposed to be a greatest hit, this is the worst thing i never view.Actor are really poor.They make too many sacrifice.Zombie not freaky,bad story and you will lose 1:30 hurs of your life.
Rating: 
Summary: 6.1 Sound Rocks the House
Review: I purchased this DVD used based on the 6.1 sound. The DVD is a zombie slasher movie, and it is what it is (You like it or hate it). The 6.1 sound is excellent. The rear surround speakers are effectively utilized and not just a repetition of the 5.1 surround speakers. The subwoofer rocks the house. So, if you are a fan of this genre film and are looking for a great DTS 6.1 sound, pick this movie up. Enjoy, j.
Rating:
Summary: What an insult to a great Video Game
Review: What a terrible insult to a great video game.
There is nothing to say about this "would be" Zombie movie based on the video game by the same name except..... Everything Was Don Badly In This Film !!!!!SEGA should sue for defamation of character over the way they insulted a great video game.
Rating:
Summary: total waste
Review: avoid at all costs. there's not one redeeming quality about a movie such as this one.
not even the occasionally "so bad it's funny"...
it is simply BAD.
now you may still want to be a sucker (i'd rather use the term looser) and rent it anyway. your problem. judging from the other reviews, i'd say you've been amply warned...
Rating:
Summary: when will amazon put negative stars on these reviews
Review: O.K I've been wantin to see this movie in theaters and saw it, I looked back at my self and litteraly slapped myself. This movie was horriable.It was a waste of the $12 I spent to go see it. I demanded my money back but never got it. The acting HORRABLE, the sx HORRABLE,the plot, what plot. This movie was a waste of time,money and respect to zombie movies. The zombies looked like people wraped in green leaf covered tolit papar. I,m sure the makeup people wrapped the stuntmen in tolitpapar like I siad, put some red lipstick on them and told em to get out there. I think that there should be a law about lettin European people deriect movies. They mostly have no sceans when makin a movie andd no one can understand them. Buy this movie for target practice for a shotgun, not for watching.
Rating:
Summary: Oh, expletive deleted!
Review: Originally I was planning to review 'House of the Dead' by simply typing the f-word about 500 times, but alas I feared this would not be an acceptable submission to this forum. Thus, it is your task, dear reader, to close your eyes and imagine the aforementioned foul declaration repeated continuously for about half a page (at 12 point size, Times New Roman). Ah wasn't that fun? And what else could possibly do this cinematic refuse justice? You don't have to answer that question if you don't want to. If you were so unfortunate as to rent (or even buy, God forbid) this film on DVD, at least you'll get a chance to laugh at director Uwe Boll's positively imbecilic audio commentary. "Vell," he exclaims in that laughable German accent of his, "heere is my goood freund Jürgen Prochnov... and look! He's vering ze hat he vore in zas Boot... my laa-ving tribute, zis is! Ah... and here's our big äkschn scene! Some people vüld argue zat a scene like zis belongs not in ze zombie film like zis, but, you knöööw, I really vanted to make an äkschn müvie - so here it is! ... Oh... now I haff my goood freund Christian Släter on ze phone... Hello Christian! You're on ze commentary! Ja!" Side-splittingly funny!
Rating:
Summary: Worse than Ax 'Em
Review: At least as bad. Boy is this movie a gem. I suppose everyone should've known when the menu screen actually says Insert Coins. I am willing to bet that i'm not alone on this next comment. When the group of dingles approach the boat at the begining of the movie, and that mongoloid comes flying around the corner speaking like he'd been trapped under 37 tons of fecies for the last 8 years. That was hilarious. I missed alot of lines in the movie due to laughter. about the first 20 minutes its an absolute riot, but immediatly after that you are laughed out, and you really get a chance to see how bad it is. i couldn't help but notice that actual scenes from the arcade game pop on the screen randomly, no warning, no reason, just bam, there and gone. there was one great scene when a guy got flipped in a port-o-potty, that was funny. the acting in this movie is definitly noteworthy. i'm sure everyone will hear of these actors and actresses eventually when they truely get discovered for their talents, you may see them in your town, directing your children, in the elementary school production of the wizard of oz. what a brief acting carrer these youngsters had, and none of them can say they went out with a bang, all they can say is, "yeah, i made about 500 bucks to be in house of the dead, i was the star, now i work as a lifeguard at a lake in north dakota." i can say though, a friend rented this movie, brought it over, we watched about 32 minutes worth, stopped it and returned it immediatly, he probably couldn't drive fast enough to get it back there, before the oder of the dvd started to fill his car. i think we will be seeing the entire cast at the academy awards next year, they must've missed them this last time around, i am of course speaking about the makeup for this poor excuse of a movie. really made you scared didn't it. oh yeah, and whats the guys problem, at the begining, a nude broad rips into the water, but he wouldn't join her. if you ask me, he was probably "tieing his shoes" right when he got attacked, probably moaned too. but back to the makeup. the makeup (done by the american school of the blind and untalented) was nothing short of awful, not scarry, not cool, nothing. but the wardrobe, the wardrobe my friends, is also awful. the acting, you guessed it, awful. the script, the directing, the casting, the editing, all fantastic. thats what saved this movie, the directing. woooh. i can't wait until the next video game movie comes out, last i heard it was going to be tetris the movie, with music by raisin hill. you are all welcome.
Rating:
Summary: Jurgen Prochnow at his best!
Review: First off, here is the best and wittiest quote from this movie. Are you ready for wit? Imagine, if you will, this wonderful line of dialogue being delivered by super serious german actor Jurgen Prochnow as he is dressed up like the gorton's fisherman and chomping a cigar with such gusto that even the oldest sea salts up in Maine or Guam would be jealous. Ready? Here we go! *Captain Victor Kirk: What do you think I am trying to do you f'ing moron...* That's it. That line is the zenith of humor in this movie. Granted, this isn't marketed as a comedy, and doesn't even have value as a movie to drink beer and make fun of, the fact that amazon chose that quote as the only one fit to print under the "quotes" section says alot. If this movie had more than three dollars spent on it, we should be rioting in the streets until movies that are actually good start being made. Today, I feel ashamed to be an american.
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