The Child

Rating:
Summary: Little Girl and Her Zombies Who Live Down the Lane
Review: Extremely odd little movie about a little brat of a girl who hates her pretty nanny cuz she has the hots for the hired guy.
Little brat gets jealous and because she is psychic, ala CARRIE...she can manipulate things. I'm assuming that she has made the corpses in the cemetery come alive...otherwise she has some mighty wierd friends. At some point this turns into a zombie flick and the little brat dissapeers until the end when she very pitifully and unconvincingly gets axed. The editing in this film is really strange. I liked it anyway.

Rating:
Summary: Just a warning
Review: I purchased this DVD in order to obtain a relatively clean and sharp copy of I Eat Your Skin. Now, Something Weird has been completely honest in listing this as an "extra" rather than promoting the disc as a "double-feature," because I Eat Your Skin is plagued with a video-produced "SWV" watermark that distractingly appears on the screen during the entire feature.

The print also suffers from damage that eliminates 1-2 minutes of important dialogue, including the intruduction of a character.

Rating:
Summary: Just a warning
Review: I purchased this DVD in order to obtain a relatively clean and sharp copy of I Eat Your Skin. Now, Something Weird has been completely honest in listing this as an "extra" rather than promoting the disc as a "double-feature," because I Eat Your Skin is plagued with a video-produced "SWV" watermark that distractingly appears on the screen during the entire feature.

The print also suffers from damage that eliminates 1-2 minutes of important dialogue, including the intruduction of a character.

Rating:
Summary: A decent zombie movie
Review: The Child is a zombie movie, although not a "great" one. A city-girl returns to the countryside where she grew up to be a nanny for a little girl who has been very awful since her mother died. But as the nanny falls in love with a man working at the house, the girl gets angry. The girl has control of zombies from the nearby cemetary, and she uses them to strike back at everyone around her.
This disk is very good, as well. It contains trailers for many other movies, and it has a "short" movie (which is about 70 minutes, I believe), that also has zombies in it (that movie is older, and there is very little gore, since the zombies are basically used as cheap workers, as in most older zombie movies).
Excluding several scenes, this one is not as graphic as most zombie movies, but still is gory enough that some people may want to avoid it.

Rating:
Summary: BOOOORRRRIIIINNNNG!
Review: The main problem I have with exploitation films is that so many of them neglect to exploit. "The Child" ranks right up (or down) there with "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" as a supposed zombie flick where the zombies obviously missed their wake-up call. The film starts out well as little Rosalee enters a cemetery with a Red-Riding-Hoodesque basket on her arm. She kneels before a headstone, reaches inside the basket and produces a darling little kitten. She then nonchalantly hands the mewling kittie over to a gray rotting hand that emerges from the other side of the grave marker. Fortunately, we don't see the kittie get chomped on. Unfortunately, this is the last we'll see of the zombies until the final reel of this dog. Though not too poorly made, this is still one long, dull slog of a feature. As usual, however, SWV's extras are another story entirely. "The ABC's of Babysitting" is a particular high-point in that it advises all young female would-be entrepreneurs to phone the cops at the slightest (and I do mean SLIGHTEST) provocation. Smell smoke? Call the cops! Hear a funny noise? Phone the fuzz! Got a splinter? Make contact wit da man! These boys in blue look like they're about ready to go Inglewood on the babysitter by the end of this short. Funny, funny stuff!

Rating:
Summary: BOOOORRRRIIIINNNNG!
Review: The main problem I have with exploitation films is that so many of them neglect to exploit. "The Child" ranks right up (or down) there with "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" as a supposed zombie flick where the zombies obviously missed their wake-up call. The film starts out well as little Rosalee enters a cemetery with a Red-Riding-Hoodesque basket on her arm. She kneels before a headstone, reaches inside the basket and produces a darling little kitten. She then nonchalantly hands the mewling kittie over to a gray rotting hand that emerges from the other side of the grave marker. Fortunately, we don't see the kittie get chomped on. Unfortunately, this is the last we'll see of the zombies until the final reel of this dog. Though not too poorly made, this is still one long, dull slog of a feature. As usual, however, SWV's extras are another story entirely. "The ABC's of Babysitting" is a particular high-point in that it advises all young female would-be entrepreneurs to phone the cops at the slightest (and I do mean SLIGHTEST) provocation. Smell smoke? Call the cops! Hear a funny noise? Phone the fuzz! Got a splinter? Make contact wit da man! These boys in blue look like they're about ready to go Inglewood on the babysitter by the end of this short. Funny, funny stuff!