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Pieces

Pieces

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Toss up
Review: This is one little twisted gore flick from the early 80's. It's about a killer on a college campus who's hacking up their victim's limb by limb (hence the title). It doesn't take brain surgery to figure out who's behind it, but along the way comes a lot of cheesy dialogue, awful dubbing, and some nudity which should please any fan of low budget euro-trash horror.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A brilliant B Grade laugh !!!!
Review: This movies is hilarious. Tons and tons of one liners that can be re hashed over and over with your friends. Some beauties include

*While we were in there foaming with that music, the lousey bast**d was in there killing her....bast**d BAST**D......BAST**D" this bit has to be viewed at least ten times and provides hours of laughter.

"Oh Kendall oh oh oh, I'll be quiet if we do it again, come back to bed hmmmwaaaaa".

Also the girls dancing class is a laugh if your into camp humour.
In summary, this movie is a great B Grade slasher pic. Great gore scenes, great one liners and tons of humour. I've lost count of how many times I've watched this one, but it just gets funnier and funnier. If your after a serious movie from an earlier era, stick to Texas Chainsaw or Maniac. This ones strictly for laughs.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A brilliant B Grade laugh !!!!
Review: This movies is hilarious. Tons and tons of one liners that can be re hashed over and over with your friends. Some beauties include

*While we were in there foaming with that music, the lousey bast**d was in there killing her....bast**d BAST**D......BAST**D" this bit has to be viewed at least ten times and provides hours of laughter.

"Oh Kendall oh oh oh, I'll be quiet if we do it again, come back to bed hmmmwaaaaa".

Also the girls dancing class is a laugh if your into camp humour.
In summary, this movie is a great B Grade slasher pic. Great gore scenes, great one liners and tons of humour. I've lost count of how many times I've watched this one, but it just gets funnier and funnier. If your after a serious movie from an earlier era, stick to Texas Chainsaw or Maniac. This ones strictly for laughs.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A Horrible Masterpiece!
Review: This unbelievably awful little charmer will have you rolling on the floor laughing.Hilariously bad acting,a script straight from the notebook of a demented 14 year old(or so it seems),production values of a basement shot porno video and dubbing that makes those old kung fu movies seem professional by comparison.This film is a funnier comedy than 90% percent of the so-called comedies ever released!The best moment of the movie had to be the discovery of a body chainsawed in half and the meathead detective turns to another and asks "could that have been done with a chainsaw?"The scriptwriters obviously worked long and hard on the dialogue!This movie has all the requirements of the early 80's teen slasher-exploitation flick:gratuitous sexual overtones,gallons of blood,faux horror music that sounds so amatuerish that you think it must be intentionally bad and with a cast of supposed actors whose movie debutes turned out to be their last.There are bad movies that are just plain bad (and boring), then there are bad movies you just have to watch- delightful trainwrecks,if you please.This movie certainly qualifies as the latter.Buy or rent this unintentional masterpiece.It is guaranteed to chase the blues away.Share it with your friends,tell your neighbors about it.Anyone with a sense of humor will love this disaster.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Dear God In Heaven
Review: To call this a bad movie would be an insult to every bad movie made in the last 40 or so years. Pieces is so mind-blowingly bad, the only kudos to be handed out for this waste of 80 or so minutes must go to the corpse in the closet at the movie's end. Most of the so-called bad movies have at least one redeeming quality to them that at least makes it enjoyable to poke fun at the said movie. To mock this movie would be to kick an already dead animal laying in the road. Why? For what purpose? Not only do these questions apply on a metaphysical animal kicking level, but also to the characters in the movies (especially the psycho), but finally to the enlightened staff which generated this brain gruel. ...It's nigh near impossible to do much worse than this.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Gore Galore
Review: Typical low budget slasher. Bad loop dubbing, weak plot, stiff dialog, but plenty of blood. Clearly the budget didn't run to wound shots so you don't get any Fulci style shots and certainly no one has gone to the effort of staging stylish scenes like Argento. The nudity is of the softest type, just breasts which are neither erotically nor sadistically displayed. The chief redeeming feature of the movie is the ending. It lacks any logic and is totally out of blue, but is all the more "endearing" for all that. As said in other reviews this film is only for the avid splatter punk, look else where for your erotic horror or stylish Giallios.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Action-packed non-stop splatter
Review: Unlike most splatter-movies, this film never gets boring. It's so fantastic and downright cool it's impossible to describe it with words. But I'll try: fan-freakin'-tastic. Linda Day and one of those ugly chicks deliever a couple of the funniest lines in the history of C- movies. In addition, the amount of gore is overwhelming and the ending is a classic. Juan Piquer Simon is responsible for a film with realistic gore-effects. You better believe it.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Of Interest to hardcore gore fans...
Review: Upfront, Pieces is a VERY stupid movie. I'm not even sure where to begin, but readers take note, unless you're the most undiscriminating type of horror fan, stay away from this trashy mess.The film opens in the 50's with the most absurd prologue you've ever seen. A little kid is assembling a jigsaw puzzle of a nude woman is lambasted by his mother who refuses to let him look at it. The child is so upset, he chops his mother up with axe and turns into the sick and twisted individual who spends the rest of the movie brutally hacking up young females at a Boston college campus. It seems that our crazy killer is hellbent on recreating his mother with body parts taken from the pretty coeds.There's not much more plot than that, but we do get LOADS and LOADS of red herrings, Christopher George as a burnt out cop on the killer's trail and of course, tons of splatter. The splatter is of course, the only reason to endure this silly excuse for a movie. It will more than likely offend everybody not already acquainted with the splatter genre. Others may also want to pass due to its frequent and brutal violence towards women, but it is just a silly movie, and some things in this movie are hilariously bad. Poor dubbing, complete and utter lapses in logic and some absurd dialogue are just the beginning of the fun. I won't even get into the sudden apearance of the asian guy, or the fact that there's a cordless phone in the prologue set in the 50's...this is just silly, silly stuff.Pieces is junk to be sure, but to say it's terrible is just unfair. It's a must for gore fans, for 90 minutes worth of nudity and gore matched with plenty of laughs, you can't really go wrong. If you're not a fan of blood and guts, than you probably wouldn't be reading this, so if it's encouragement you need, pick this one up, your friends won't believe you when you tell them how bad it is.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: As Lennon said, "All I am saying is give PIECES a chance..."
Review: Utterly horrible. This DVD was sent to me as a sort of twisted gift by an equally twisted friend and we were both punished by all 90 minutes of this disaster. It's a lousy movie, poorly dubbed, and horribly presented on DVD. And you need to buy it. Now.

Any true fan of horror gore and slasher pics or just cult garbage in general needs this turkey in their library. PIECES can be blamed on director Juan Piquer Simon and stars (shames?) Christopher George and Linda Day. Also featured (embarassed?) is Paul Smith - who appeared as Bluto in Robert Altman's POPEYE. Smith displays the same magnificent acting range that landed him a role of such depth in the finest of Altman's oeuvre.

Here's how the horror unfolds: Young boy is very upset when his mother takes away his nudie puzzle and hacks her up with an axe. Young boy grows up and decides to make his own puzzle out of young girls at a Boston college. With a chainsaw. They often don't see him coming because it's cleverly hidden behind his back.

PIECES is rife with gore and chock full of the unintentional comedy that often ensues with terribly dubbed foreign films. Consider these questions: Where did that kung-fu guy come from and why? Why did she skateboard into that mirror? Why the lengthy aerobics scene? Why is the "hero," Kendall, making love to every woman on campus when he looks so hideous? Why are there only five girls on campus - and one professor? Why did I buy this? Where did the last 90 minutes of my life go? The final scene in the film is great - after putting up with Kendall for 90 minutes it's guaranteed to leave you cheering.

The DVD (from Diamond Entertainment) boasts "Direct Scene Access," but the film is divided into only four chapters. That's OK - when you skip ahead there's less of this atrocity to sit through.

In summary, utterly craptastic. Good for more than one laugh, this is the sort of film that deserves zero stars, but ends up getting five because I challenge you to find something else more entertaining at this price.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: What can anyone say? I'll have a piece please......
Review: Well, after just finishing watching this remarkably bad film I wish to ponder how it ever got made. P.S.(I'm glad it did!)

This is an incredibly wonderful gore picture chock full of horrible acting, with the exception of the late, great Christopher George. The dubbing on this film is so bad it's laughable. Some of the voices sound like suspicious phone operators. We have Paul Smith, who played Bluto in that ... Popeye film, trimming hedges with a chainsaw and watching ... college students make it next to a tree. Now you would think he is the killer because he is always lurking around with one eye closed to arouse the audiences suspicion. Well, he's not... It all takes place on a college campus. The girls, well, and guys for that matter are so ugly you actually want to see their demise.

One scene that had me giggling was when they find the girl chopped up by the swimming pool. Her remains look like a joke. See, the dean needed a torso so all that remains is her head, legs, and arms. Next to her body is a blood soaked chainsaw. The Lt. asks the anatomy teacher "Do you think they cut her up with a chainsaw? Like that one over there" I couldn't believe it!

Well, I hope my review helps you. Just imagine Friday the 13 mixed with a Doris Wishman or Edward D. Wood Jr. flick. The best thing to do is not to pick it to Pieces. This is one puzzle you'll have a lot of fun with!


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