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Caress of the Vampire -- Collector's Edition

Caress of the Vampire -- Collector's Edition

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Worst Vampire movie ever
Review: I guess it depends on what kind of sex you are in to. The sex scenes are perfectly timed and the plot, well, a four year old could follow it (Not that you should show a four year old this kind of movie.) I found this movie very interesting and very enjoyable. My copy is wearing out due to the amount of times that I've watched it. I sujest, no, I demand that you buy this movie is you like mostly views of womens breasts. I will admit that there are some less than professional parts to the movie as in, the sound is obviously pre-recorded (Hey maybe the actresses couldn't handle walking and talking at the same time) but you must admit that the acting was very convincing... I can't give this masterpiece any other rating accept five stars because I loved every second of it. Great.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Worst Vampire movie ever
Review: I have been collecting Vampire, and Vampire-erotica movies for several years now. It is my missfortune to own this one, it is the worst movie I have ever seen. If you know anyone who was associated with the making of this movie, pleae don't let them use a video camera again.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Not the best of it's kind
Review: I might have liked this movie better if it had some sort of, well storyline. What I could make out of it these alien vampires were trying to recuit new vampires on earth, while being persued by two stupid cops (who were always one step behind). Most of the movie (if you call 45 min. a movie)is just a bunch of sex scenes. Nice as that is you can't make a movie out of that. The tape also includes a sort of making of at the end to fill time. Some how I did like this movie (dumb as it is). I would recommend it, but don't look for a lot of blood and gore here.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Not bad for sexploitation video!
Review: I watched this movie and its sequel , both on the same disc, the other night. part one was not too bad. It showed skill in its technical side and moved at a mediocre pace. However, the sequel was just not very good. It was hard to watch and dull and repetitious. I dont understand how they even call it a sequel. But not the worst I've ever seen. However, it was unbelievably distributed by the same people who released The Realm of Bizarre. That was a fantastic movie. The best indi-horror I've seen in a long, long time. If you can find it, i recomend it highly! love, Louis Cyphre

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: A non-erotic, semi-vampiric non-movie
Review: Not only is this movie amateurishly horrible, it's not even a movie in my book. Actual movies have plots and last longer than 46 minutes. Perhaps this is some type of deconstructionist film, rebelling against the idea of having an actual plot or hiring actors who actually know how to act. As the movie opens, we learn that a dangerous female vampire has come to earth in her spaceship. Two would-be "admirers" in a back alley soon wind up dead and drained of blood (although we don't get to see any of the actual bloodletting). Next we see a young divorcee moving into a new home (with director Bob Gonzo giving himself a completely unnecessary cameo appearance as "the landlord"). I found it quite humorous to see that all of her belongings had no trouble fitting into her little sports car. The vampire and her "close" roommate take an immediate interest in their new neighbor, but they spend most of the time rolling around on the bed together going out of their way to not be very erotic at all. Necks are licked and a few (but certainly not all) pieces of clothing are shed-this is the bulk of your lesbian vampire action right here, and it's barely even R rated activity. Eventually, the new neighbor is exposed to the seemingly hypnotic charms of our alien vampire lady, and that's about it. Two far from competent cops pop up a couple of times searching for the "vampire killer," but their scenes actually slow down a story that is already as sluggish as molasses in January.

There is almost no dialogue in this film, and the few spoken lines we do get are pretty obviously dubbed for some unknown reason. The acting is as wooden as the vampire-killing stakes you might find in other vampire movies (but not in this one). About 90% of this short movie consists of repetitive shots of women caressing each other to the accompaniment of very bad music. The only good thing I can say about this movie is that the vampires' fangs were pretty impressive; it's too bad we didn't get to really see them in action on some poor slob's neck-the bloodletting, like the eroticism, is assumed but never made explicit. The only possible reason you would have for watching this movie is a love of vampirism in all its forms-even then, you will be disappointed. Caress of the Vampire is worth no one's time or money.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: A non-erotic, semi-vampiric non-movie
Review: Not only is this movie amateurishly horrible, it's not even a movie in my book. Actual movies have plots and last longer than 46 minutes. Perhaps this is some type of deconstructionist film, rebelling against the idea of having an actual plot or hiring actors who actually know how to act. As the movie opens, we learn that a dangerous female vampire has come to earth in her spaceship. Two would-be "admirers" in a back alley soon wind up dead and drained of blood (although we don't get to see any of the actual bloodletting). Next we see a young divorcee moving into a new home (with director Bob Gonzo giving himself a completely unnecessary cameo appearance as "the landlord"). I found it quite humorous to see that all of her belongings had no trouble fitting into her little sports car. The vampire and her "close" roommate take an immediate interest in their new neighbor, but they spend most of the time rolling around on the bed together going out of their way to not be very erotic at all. Necks are licked and a few (but certainly not all) pieces of clothing are shed-this is the bulk of your lesbian vampire action right here, and it's barely even R rated activity. Eventually, the new neighbor is exposed to the seemingly hypnotic charms of our alien vampire lady, and that's about it. Two far from competent cops pop up a couple of times searching for the "vampire killer," but their scenes actually slow down a story that is already as sluggish as molasses in January.

There is almost no dialogue in this film, and the few spoken lines we do get are pretty obviously dubbed for some unknown reason. The acting is as wooden as the vampire-killing stakes you might find in other vampire movies (but not in this one). About 90% of this short movie consists of repetitive shots of women caressing each other to the accompaniment of very bad music. The only good thing I can say about this movie is that the vampires' fangs were pretty impressive; it's too bad we didn't get to really see them in action on some poor slob's neck-the bloodletting, like the eroticism, is assumed but never made explicit. The only possible reason you would have for watching this movie is a love of vampirism in all its forms-even then, you will be disappointed. Caress of the Vampire is worth no one's time or money.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Lesbian Vampires Don't Always Make A Good Movie
Review: Sir Jub-Jub usually finds lesbian vampire movies to be a very interesting viewing experience, this film, however, is a very bad time for all. "Caress of the Vampire" is complete trash, no production values, no story, no acting, no inventiveness on the filmmaker's part at all. I would love to relate the story but there is not one, it is simply a soft-core coupling of two females for the majority of the running time. Had the film went the course of hard-core pornography, at least there would have been something to talk about. How this film was released on DVD is beyond me and I hope no one wastes their time on this. If you want to see a real film on this subject, try Jess Franco's "Vampyros Lesbos" or "Daughters of Darkness".

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: a very bad movie
Review: There are movies with worse camera angles. Cinematography was decent. There are movies with uglier actresses. Some were pretty hot. But if this in a horror movie, it should be scary, and if it's a porn it should be erotic. Not much of a plot was expected for a porn movie, but this wasn't porn. There was not one kiss in the entire movie, and the only crotch shot there was, was the bonus footage of one of the actresses taking a non-seductive bath by herself, and yes, it's as stupid that it sounds. Until now, Leprachaun 4 took the cake as the worst movie ever. Move over, little green guy, SPACEAGE LESBIAN VAMPIRES have sunken to depths you just could not reach. Avoid at all costs. It's not even something you can just laugh at. Just boring. But I am putting it on ebay, so someone buy it! :-)

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Caress of the Vampire very good movie
Review: This movie is one of the best lesbian soft-core movies I've seen and if like this film then you'll like the rest of Seduction Cinema's movies.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Yawn
Review: What a poorly made film. Some bad films are funny albeit unintentionally. Some are so bad, that they reach cult status.

This is not one of those films. This is just something you would give someone to cure them of insomnia.

What a pitty we can't give half stars in reviews, beacuse that's all this deserves.

Oh yes, I got the 'special edition / keep case'

Keeping the case was what I did, so it didn't turn out to be a total waste of money.


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