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Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

List Price: $9.99
Your Price: $9.99
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Cheap but Creepy
Review: Yeah, it's a cheap, cheesy rip-off of "Night of the Living Dead." Yes, the acting is only marginally better than its illustrious and more famous predecessor, and the dialogue truly has to be heard to be believed. That having been said, this is still a low-budget classic of the genre. I remember that me and my friends loved this when we were teenagers and it was being shown on late-night TV; it still holds up fairly well, although the overblown dialogue does wear thin after awhile. Alan Ormsby is effective as an effete Charles Manson wanna-be and his wife Anya, while she at times overacts shamelessly, still manages to convey a sad, ethereal quality to her character. The others bring off their roles with varying degrees of competence. Still, you're not watching this because of its flamboyant characters or the complexity of its storyline. You're watching it because of the flesh-eating zombies. How do they hold up, 30 or so years later? Very well, considering the budgetary limitations and the passage of the years. In fact, I'll still put the scene where the Undead finally emerge from their graves, summoned either by Alan's pompous Satanic ritual or Valerie's irreverent mockery of the same, up against anything out there. I defy anyone to watch this scene alone late at night and not feel that shivery chill of fear that you probably haven't experienced since you were a child watching "Chiller Theatre." There are elements that certainly haven't aged well. The whole concept of a necrophiliac-style wedding is just plain sick, not scary, and if you've ever wondered how much progress gay people have made over the years, check out some of the flagrant stereotypes presented here circa 1972. However, this isn't Bergman, or Fellini, and it isn't supposed to be. It is what it is- a cheap, cheesy rip-off of "Night of the Living Dead" that's still a lot of creepy fun all these years later.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: UNBEATABLE
Review: First I want to start by asking anyone who reads reviews that can range from 5 stars to 1 star, that you please read the other reviews those people have made and you will have an idea of true horror film enthusists. Now, "Children" is moody, scary, atmospheric, and scores a must have "OWN IT" rating. Watch it alone, late at night and I promise you will never forget it. The sound of the Loons (birds) is so damn eerie. Perhaps the greatest zombie film aside from Night of the Living Dead, and not to offend my peers...Children is my all time favorite, and always will be.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Not worth the effort
Review: I like cheesy, b-rated horror flicks as much as the next guy. I watched Ed Wood's flicks, and laughed along with MST3K. But "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" just wasn't any of those. It wasn't funny, it wasn't interesting, it wasn't unique. And did I mention that zombies were surprisingly absent for the majority of the movie? That's right, it took more than 95% of this film before the zombies even come out, and they only last about 5 to 10 minutes! But in the meantime, you have to sit through mediocre acting, and one of the most obnoxious characters in cinematic history (and his screenplays sucked too). IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

Be different, be a zombie completist that looks for only the BEST zombie Flicks created. Any yabbo in a "dead" suit can call his monster a zombie and use his camcorder to shoot a film. That's no reason to buy it. And so, like so many other zombie fans before me, I suggest the following: The Evil Dead Trilogy, the Night Of The Living Dead Trilogy, Dead Alive, Zombie and Resident Evil.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Well, its pretty bad
Review: so bad its almost good. Almost. The "dead things" looked terribly fake, the dialogue (what little there was) was generally unamusing and there were no creative plot twists
I did like one thing however: the lack of theme music. It gives the viewer the most overwhelming sense of insecurity, being that foreshadowing with creepy instrumentals is a crutch for horror film watchers. In this one, the creatures just jump out at you without notice

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Maybe a hypnotist could help me forget a painful 87 min.
Review: With the reputation of the talent behind the camera, I thought I would give this cheapie a look. Bob Clark (Deathdream, Black Christmas) delivers what has to be the worst horror film in the history of cinema. That's okay though. Most directors have a film they are ashamed of. Clark specializes in perfect pacing but that quality is not present here. It also doesn't help that Alan Ormsby is like fingernails on the chalkboard, with his overwrought, dare I say "performance." This is worth seeing, if only to learn about casting no-no's.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I can't believe I had this on my wish list!
Review: I love zombie movies but this is a bad excuse for a zombie flick. It's more like a zombie commercial. I can usually sit through anything but this was killing me. It's not scary at all, it's not gory and it's very boring. If you watch this flick, save yourself some time and only watch the last 15 min. It's the only good part. Not worth buying. I wouldn't even check it out for free at the library.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Well, maybe there's worse
Review: I'm a huge Zombie movie fan and not one to rip up a movie that doesn't deserve it...well, this one does. The acting is terrible, maybe even worse than terrible, and the special effects are beyond lame. The only good part is the very end.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Creepy and fun!
Review: A fine early effort from director Bob Clark(A CHRISTMAS STORY,PORKY'S) that horror fans will want to see.Like a cross between EVIL DEAD and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD with a strong dose of campy humor this film carries an eerie mood all the way through.A group of drama students unwittingly raise the dead and then the film turns suitably creepy.PG-rated,so don't expect gory violence,but you'll like it.The dvd quality is pretty good and there's a funny trailer.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Classic Bad
Review: I'm a bad movie fan. I really love really bad movies, and this one is a classic! I laughed myself silly through it.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Fabulously Bad
Review: I remember seeing this movie 20 years ago or so on late-night TV, and despite being low-budget, campy and dated, it still managed to creep me out. The film-makers never take themselves too seriously, and I was happy to find it for sale on DVD.


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