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Summary: When Is Last House Coming to DVD?
Review: Hey guys. When will Last House be released on DVD? Any ideas? It's just been turned down again for cinema release again in the UK - despite the fact that over the last few years they've been a bit more lenient about horror stuff - Texas Chainsaw, Driller Killer etc are all available now. I saw this last year at a Club screening and it has to be one of the best horror movies ever. Okay, so it all looks a bit rough and ready now and the actins a bit unmannered to say the least but this is truly powerful stuff. A real treat for a horror fan who usually has to put up with anoydyne stuff like Halloween 15 or whatever. You in the US have it so lucky. Pity the horror fan over here. The powers that be tell us that were simply too impressionable to watch a decent horror film.
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Summary: Gutter Trash
Review: As close to snuff as any film in the seventies managed, technically inept, a pornographic rip-off of Bergman's "Virgin Spring," and overall, just hideous. Yes, the brutality left an impression. Is that what you are looking for?
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Summary: Unwatchable at best.
Review: The Last House on the Left (Wes Craven, 1972)When was the last time you saw a movie that was the very definition of the word "pointless?" If you need to shut your brain off for an hour and a half, this is a good way to do it. I'm amazed anyone in Hollywood managed to let Craven direct another film after this ninety-minute waste of celluloid. And yet, somehow (probably because "hey, it's the guy who directed Scream!"), it was re-released with new box art and everything last year. It should have faded into much-deserved obscurity, instead. The plot centers around a girl named Mari Collingwood (Sandra Cassel, one of many people in this flick who never got another role-- hmm, I wonder why) who goes off into the big evil city with her best friend to see a concert. On the way, she and best friend are waylaid by some escaped prisoners, who do very nasty things to them (all artfully shot, of course, to preserve the film's R rating). Well, that's the first half, anyway. The second half hinges on the climax to the first half, and in case you've been living in a cave hundreds of miles from the nearest newsstand that carries Fangoria, I'll leave the second half to your imagination. The main problem with the movie, aside from abysmal acting, a horrible script, amateurish direction, bad lighting, etc., etc., is that the movie loses its direction time and again. In the hands of a better director-- perhaps even if Craven were to remake his own film-- and with a better script (again, Craven could probably do his own rewrite, as he's often shown he's capable of better than this), this could be a tight, punchy thriller with enough extremity about it to still appeal to the shock-flick underground. But what we have here is a film whose sole purpose, it seems, is to say "hey, we have this ratings sytem now, and I'm determined to abuse it in any way I can." The result is a mess. *
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Summary: Last House on the Left
Review: I am like the rest of you, hearing that this one of the most disturbing movies made out there and I was really psyched out about seeing the film, and so I bought it, I can tell you right now that that is the worst thing I have ever spent money on, this movie down right stinks, the picture quality is stinky (which is excused because its a 70s flick)- The acting was horrible, the only person in this whole movie who did a halfway decent performance was "Mari Collingwood". Please do not waste your money buying this movie, unless you are willing to sit through the STUPIDEST movie ever made-- It wasn't disturbing at ALL. It wasn't disgusting at ALL. Just like I said don't waste your money, I really wanted to like this movie but my brain just refused to watch such stupid stuff. Need I say more?
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Summary: Scary, but not as good as I thought it'd be.
Review: So this movie was awkward and creepy, but it was also rather dumb. Wes Craven did a good job giving an unusual "scary" feel to it, but the movie itself was rather "idiotically-cheesy"! The content was rather off for the 70's (when it came out), and viewing the movie can make you rather nautious. It really wasn't that bad, but I'm kind of wishing I wouldn't have spent the money for it.
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Summary: TRUE STORY?!?!?! *convulsing with laughter*
Review: Okay...I'm giving this film three stars because, while it IS a cult classic and has a well-deserved place in horror cinema history, there are obvious flaws which I won't even go into...I'll just say the word "music" and leave it at that. What really prompted me to write this review, however, is the fact that some reviewers have actually stated that "Last House on the Left" is based on a true story. These are obviously the same people who believed that "The Blair Witch Project" actually happened. This film is NOT based on a true story, kids. Actually, it's (loosely) based on a Swedish film by Ingmar Bergman called "The Virgin Spring"...which you should all make an attempt to find. It's subtitled, of course, but at least you don't have to listen to that awful music. "The Virgin Spring" is a brilliant piece of film (five stars, even) about a family that exacts revenge when their daughter is brutally raped and murdered...sound familiar? And just to set the record straight on another subject..."The Texas Chain Saw Massacre"...that didn't really happen, either.
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Summary: Remarkable! But not the way you think...
Review: This is one of the most amazing movies I've ever seen, from the most academic possible standpoint. The very bottom line is that it is simply AWFUL - to the point where it becomes not only comical, but a study in the art of what NOT to do when making a movie. If I were reviewing this from the point of view of a simple horror movie patron, it would receive one star at best. The acting is bad at best, downright miserable verging on parodic at worst; the editing is terrible; the plot and action are all but indistiguishable; the camerawork was clearly inspirational to the makers of The Blair Witch Project, and will have you reaching for the dramamine. The music alone is so poorly chosen and executed as to make this into an entirely different film than what I imagine Wes Craven expected. In fact, I might go so far as to say that, were the music entirely different and more appropriate, the film MIGHT (and this is a big stretch) approach the level of watchable as something beyond an objective critical venture. I would say that this film fails on just about every level, except for one: given the incredibly farcical nature of the whole production, when it finally DOES present a disturbing moment in the woods, it becomes downright creepy, so out of context from the farce we've witnessed to that point. However, that lasts for about a minute and a half, and then come the chainsaw-wielding parents on a rampage, and it's back to parody all over again. If you are a student of the fine art of film, you may want to see this as a reminder that, no matter how bad your first film might be, it CAN'T be this bad - and for that reason alone, it gets an extra star. I rate this up there with Plan Nine From Outer Space as one of the worst of all time. Enjoy!
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Summary: Dont Listen to What others Say!!!
Review: I watched this movie in anticipation of seeing a disturbing, realistic horror movie.But when I finished the movie, I tried to figure out why everyone likes it. Mindless dialogue, bland characters, and minimal violence are some of the obvious flaws. This movie is way overhyped and turns out to be hilarious. My personal favorite scene is where a poor girl is being hacked to pieces (out of frame of course) and one of the killers says "Man I can dig it" Dont waste your time
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Summary: And I was actually looking forward to seeing this?
Review: I cannot believe that people actually consider this film to be a "classic" horror movie. This is easily one of the worst movies that I have ever seen and to call it a "horror movie" at all is an insult to the genre. I had heard several people refer to this film as one of Wes Craven's best works and was really looking forward to seeing it. Now I have to wonder "what the hell were they thinking?" The story is about a couple of girls getting ready to go to a concert by a band called "Bloodlust" (yes, feel free to laugh at this) who decide to try to score some weed before the show (teenage girls in a horror movie trying to score weed? Surely not - can you say bad cliche). They wind up getting kidnapped by a foursome of the most rediculous villians ever to grace the screen. From there they get tortured, raped, and murdered. Then, in a laughable plot twist, the murderers wind up going back to one of the girls' parents' house and spend the night. The parents figure out that these people killed their daughter and in turn become vicious killers themselves (in some really poor revenge scenes). The story is painfully simple and the only thing worse than the acting in this movie is the music. Imagine the worst kind of upbeat country-folk jingles you can think of, add some kazoo playing (I kid you not), and you've essentially got the music from this film... Don't get me wrong, I like alot of the campy B-grade horror movies from the seventies, but this one wasn't even fun to watch becuase it was so poorly done. I like some of Wes Craven's other work, but I hope he is embarrassed by this one. Even for a directing debut from the early seventies, this film sucks. Don't waste your money.
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Summary: Even It's Great Payback Ending Couldn't Save This One
Review: "Supposedly" based on a true incident, "Last House on the Left" has an intruiging concept, but the film falls flat on it's face with poor filmaking and too many tasteless and gross scenes. Even it's great payback ending couldn't save this sickening clunker. I wasn't surprised when I found out this was Wes Craven's first movie. I think they should do a remake and toss this one in the trash.
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