Rating: 
Summary: Hartley Tries Something New, While Staying the Same
Review: I had been eagerly anticipating this film because it featured three of my favorite film personalities... Hal Hartley, Sarah Polley and Helen Mirren.Buzz around this new film had been rather negative... largely, I think, due to the trailer on the NO SUCH THING website, that makes the film look like a mainstream film... which is certainly is not. It's Hal, through and through and I really loved it. Sarah Polley and Helen Mirren are outstanding as an innocent, waifish assistant, and her hard-nosed, cynical boss respectively, on a television news show. Robert Burke (UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH, SIMPLE MEN) plays the monster. Julie Christie also appears as a brilliant doctor in Iceland. Hartley tackles a stairical look at the media... and does so with humor and real emotion. Some of Polley's scenes as she undergoes a series of traumatic hardships are amazing. And the slow revelation about the monster while hardly unexpected is still surprising. Once again, Hartley wraps things up with a mysterious and transcendent ending.
Rating: 
Summary: You will fall in love with the monster in this little fable.
Review: I rather liked this one; it is unusual and interesting. Yet, I had to ruminate a bit after it was over in order to comprehend it better.
Rating:
Summary: Curious, indeed
Review: I'm a big Hal Hartley fan, even though a lot of his movies leave me perplexed... maybe that's what I admire. But 'No Such Thing' left too much unspoken & I was left drop jawed & alone at the end of this one. The idea is intriguing- a real life monster, the only of his kind, who swills wine, kills humans, speaks English- yet lives in obscurity off the chilly coast of Iceland- meets a young, naive yet strangely wise, girl named Beatrice who has set off to find her fiance- reportedly eaten/attacked by the monster. During her journey she meets with pain & sacrifice which puts her at an advantage with the monster. Hartley's satire turns them into media darlings for their '15 minutes,' until they find the only doctor who can kill the monster. The final scenes of the movie are rushed & confused & the ending is dissappointing at best. I still recommend it for those looking for new approaches to storytelling & film- just be prepared for an ending that leaves you to make your own conclusions.
Rating:
Summary: Curious, indeed
Review: I'm a big Hal Hartley fan, even though a lot of his movies leave me perplexed... maybe that's what I admire. But 'No Such Thing' left too much unspoken & I was left drop jawed & alone at the end of this one. The idea is intriguing- a real life monster, the only of his kind, who swills wine, kills humans, speaks English- yet lives in obscurity off the chilly coast of Iceland- meets a young, naive yet strangely wise, girl named Beatrice who has set off to find her fiance- reportedly eaten/attacked by the monster. During her journey she meets with pain & sacrifice which puts her at an advantage with the monster. Hartley's satire turns them into media darlings for their '15 minutes,' until they find the only doctor who can kill the monster. The final scenes of the movie are rushed & confused & the ending is dissappointing at best. I still recommend it for those looking for new approaches to storytelling & film- just be prepared for an ending that leaves you to make your own conclusions.
Rating:
Summary: Curious, indeed
Review: I'm a big Hal Hartley fan, even though a lot of his movies leave me perplexed... maybe that's what I admire. But 'No Such Thing' left too much unspoken & I was left drop jawed & alone at the end of this one. The idea is intriguing- a real life monster, the only of his kind, who swills wine, kills humans, speaks English- yet lives in obscurity off the chilly coast of Iceland- meets a young, naive yet strangely wise, girl named Beatrice who has set off to find her fiance- reportedly eaten/attacked by the monster. During her journey she meets with pain & sacrifice which puts her at an advantage with the monster. Hartley's satire turns them into media darlings for their '15 minutes,' until they find the only doctor who can kill the monster. The final scenes of the movie are rushed & confused & the ending is dissappointing at best. I still recommend it for those looking for new approaches to storytelling & film- just be prepared for an ending that leaves you to make your own conclusions.
Rating: 
Summary: Cinematic Schizophrenia
Review: If Julie Christie made a dog food commercial, I'd probably watch it. However, "No Such Thing" is more cinematic schizophrenia rather than a beauty & the beast fairytale. There are so many things happening in this film, the sad truth is that they just don't hang together. Take the lead in the film, Sarah Polley who plays Beatrice. She is delightfully innocent and gives heart to what otherwise seems a heartless world. Yet when she returns to New York with the Monster, she parties all night, has casual sex with Carlo, a boy stud, and then gets put in a leather strap dress straight out of a sado-masochistic fantasy. Why? She must be schizophrenic. The wonderful Julie Christie as Dr. Anna works on Beatrice after she is the lone survivor of an airplane crash. (What the airplane crash and the extensive surgery had to do with the rest of the film, I never understood.) Then she leaves her surgical practice to go on holiday to the remote part of Iceland with Beatrice. After going so far, she says goodbye and turns around and leaves. Why? Schizophrenia. The also always marvelous Helen Mirren plays a great cold-blooded news hound boss always looking for an angle to make news. She barely notices when an entire news crew is murdered and disappears in remote Iceland, but flies the Atlantic to check on Beatrice who she has no clue how long has worked for her. Why? Schizophrenia. Baltasar Kormakur as Dr. Artaud was delightful with his thick little glasses and gives a nice moral at the end about monsters, but the movie as a whole has so many mixed signals that it doesn't work. The Icelandic scenery was beautiful. I did also enjoy Robert John Burke's acid-tongued Monster. All in all, this film is a waste of time and talent. The DVD neither ads nor subtracts to the viewing of the film. TAXI!
Rating: 
Summary: the trouble with satire
Review: is that it needs a sophisticated, well-informed audience, able to make connections without large neon arrows, and aware of nuance. intelligence helps. i originally watched this film because it was set in iceland. i watched it a second time, and am buying the dvd, because of all the subtle, quiet bits of staging, the wonderful dialogue, its absurdity, the quality of the performances, and the density of meaning and references--not only the obvious, but possibly the obscure: does this scene reference morality plays? does the movie satirize quest legends? this film reminds me of a review the author dick francis once got--the reviewer said that francis leaves much unsaid but nothing unexpressed. if you prefer to actively participate in a performance, to have your mind as well as your emotions engaged, this is a film you will enjoy. if every motivation and action has to be explained to you by several minutes of dialogue, look somewhere else.
Rating:
Summary: the trouble with satire
Review: is that it needs a sophisticated, well-informed audience, able to make connections without large neon arrows, and aware of nuance. intelligence helps. i originally watched this film because it was set in iceland. i watched it a second time, and am buying the dvd, because of all the subtle, quiet bits of staging, the wonderful dialogue, its absurdity, the quality of the performances, and the density of meaning and references--not only the obvious, but possibly the obscure: does this scene reference morality plays? does the movie satirize quest legends? this film reminds me of a review the author dick francis once got--the reviewer said that francis leaves much unsaid but nothing unexpressed. if you prefer to actively participate in a performance, to have your mind as well as your emotions engaged, this is a film you will enjoy. if every motivation and action has to be explained to you by several minutes of dialogue, look somewhere else.
Rating:
Summary: hal hartley invents and destroys...
Review: monster: hey, i mean, wouldn't you like to see me dead? i killed your friends! beatrice: if that's true, then i think you should be brought to justice and pay for the crimes you committed. monster: justice? beatrice: yeah, two wrongs don't make a right. it's like my mom always used to say, "jesus had it all right and proper. you've got to learn to love your enemies too." monster: jesus? alright, i can already see this is going to be a disaster. hal hartley's monster is changeless and eternal. he's the thing we always run from for fear of a meaningless existence. he's meaning personified. but the monster (burke) now lives in seclusion. his purpose waning in a consumer-crazed planet. an outcast even to his own creators, tossed aside, exchanged for the wonderful vices of the world. and each day carries the possibility of another. yesterday's is recycled and a week later is again on the front page. all is well and progressive without evil. meanwhile, the monster remains dormant in a cave in offshore iceland, drunken and depressed, worse each day, without even the comfort of suicide, denied. until one day, a corporate media investigator shows up at the entrance of the cave to discover the whereabouts of a team of reporters destined to get the story on the monster, whom the monster without hesitation or remorse dispatched (even bored to tears while doing so). the reporter beatrice (polley) discovers the bleak situation offering her natural kindness and sympathy to which the monster replies: "I HATE THAT PITY SH**!" but they end up striking a bargain; the monster in one more media run in exchange for his termination. sarah polley whom i last saw in the claim is a sisyphus-like angel who makes little notes of the media-induced chaos surrounding her every move. that's life, and it's kinda funny but ultimately bleak which the monster reminds polley and the world within every frame of his performance. burke and polley are both great, the monster is often hilarious but never sentimental. polley is the mother, whether of man or the earth, but one understands she's only visiting in a timeless and eternal sorta way. and although they may appear polar opposites, the message both the monster and beatrice carry are one in the same, bonded together by the same realization of mortality, absurdity. the music is goofy and melancholic but truly innovative, as is this thinking person's film.
Rating:
Summary: hal hartley invents and destroys...
Review: monster: hey, i mean, wouldn't you like to see me dead? i killed your friends! beatrice: if that's true, then i think you should be brought to justice and pay for the crimes you committed. monster: justice? beatrice: yeah, two wrongs don't make a right. it's like my mom always used to say, "jesus had it all right and proper. you've got to learn to love your enemies too." monster: jesus? alright, i can already see this is going to be a disaster. hal hartley's monster is changeless and eternal. he's the thing we always run from for fear of a meaningless existence. he's meaning personified. but the monster (burke) now lives in seclusion. his purpose waning in a consumer-crazed planet. an outcast even to his own creators, tossed aside, exchanged for the wonderful vices of the world. and each day carries the possibility of another. yesterday's is recycled and a week later is again on the front page. all is well and progressive without evil. meanwhile, the monster remains dormant in a cave in offshore iceland, drunken and depressed, worse each day, without even the comfort of suicide, denied. until one day, a corporate media investigator shows up at the entrance of the cave to discover the whereabouts of a team of reporters destined to get the story on the monster, whom the monster without hesitation or remorse dispatched (even bored to tears while doing so). the reporter beatrice (polley) discovers the bleak situation offering her natural kindness and sympathy to which the monster replies: "I HATE THAT PITY SH**!" but they end up striking a bargain; the monster in one more media run in exchange for his termination. sarah polley whom i last saw in the claim is a sisyphus-like angel who makes little notes of the media-induced chaos surrounding her every move. that's life, and it's kinda funny but ultimately bleak which the monster reminds polley and the world within every frame of his performance. burke and polley are both great, the monster is often hilarious but never sentimental. polley is the mother, whether of man or the earth, but one understands she's only visiting in a timeless and eternal sorta way. and although they may appear polar opposites, the message both the monster and beatrice carry are one in the same, bonded together by the same realization of mortality, absurdity. the music is goofy and melancholic but truly innovative, as is this thinking person's film.
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