Kindergarten Cop

Rating:
Summary: FULL SCREEN ONLY
Review: One of the movies that showed there was more then just brawn to Arnold. I would love to own a wide screen (16x9 enhanced) copy. But for some reason the first released copy has never been replaced. The full-screen version was a early DVD effort and not well done.

Rating:
Summary: Kindergarten Cop
Review: Superaction star Arnold Schwarzenegger stars with Penelope Ann Miller in a great movie from director Ivan Reitman ("Beethoven"). Detective John Kimble (Schwarzenegger) has been trying to stop a certain criminal for years, and it hasn't worked. When he teams up with a female cop turned kindergarten teacher, Kimble goes undercover as her substitute, for a class of which includes the criminal's young son, giving him a chance to catch his nemesis once and for all. When the criminal comes to the school one day and sets it on fire, Kimble attempts to go into the burning building and tries to rescue the young lad from his unworthy father. Provides content for children AND the action and suspense any Schwarzenegger movie gives you. A great movie for kids and adults.

Rating:
Summary: Shockingly dated
Review: Sure, Arnold is kind of funny and the kids are very cute, but the constant violence, language, junkies, and aiming guns at small children was a real turnoff in the age of Columbine and other school shootings. I definitely do not recommend this for any children.

Rating:
Summary: Immortal Vs. Innocent Children
Review: The supernatural force known as Arnold Schwarzenegger faces his biggest enemy yet, children. Reuniting with director Ivan Reitman, Arnold touches all the bases with this comedy. John Kimble is in search of Crisp, the evil drug dealer that shoots his clients. Crisp's wife and son are hiding in the beautiful Portland, Oregon and it's up to Kimble to go undercover and find the mother and son before Crisp does. Excitement! Throw in a funny partner played by Pamela Reed, "Snap out of it!". She was originally supposed to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher, but gets food poisoning. So, it's up to the deity Schwarzenegger to teach the children some lessons. He puts them through Police School and brings in his deformed dog? Hilarity! Or remember the part where Kimble went to the party at the beginning and told those guys that he loved his car and pulled out a weapon. Pure Immortal!

Rating:
Summary: More entertaining than you might think
Review: The title Kindergarten Cop is in reference to the main character, John Kimble (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a cop who goes undercover as a nursery school teacher to catch the bad guy. A key teaching aid for Kimble is his pet ferret, whom he takes with him wherever he goes (he loves his ferret so much, he doesn't even bother to name it - such devotion!). The children are captivated by the diminutive sable mustelid, and eventually learn to calm down and listen to their new teacher. Best of all, the fiesty ferret saves the day, helping Kimble catch the baddie (Richard Tyson).

This movie is surprisingly fun and entertaining, even with all the screaming kiddies. Give it a look.

Staci Layne Wilson
Author of Staci's Guide to Animal Movies


Rating:
Summary: This is not for the kids!
Review: This is a decent movie, fast paced and with some funny moments. However, I don't understand why it shows up in the family section. There is a very violent end and some other disturbing scenes throughout the movie.

Rating:
Summary: A Likeable Arnie
Review: This is a pleasant movie, and with the exception of some sporadic violence in the beginning and at the very of the film, it could even be seen by children, with some very important parental guidance. Parental guidance is also important due to some of the subject matter, as far as the kindergarten is concerned. But Arnold, here, has a nice movie he's in, and the premise is good. A New York City cop goes into the heartland of the country to go undercover as a teacher in kindergarten, where he meets his inadequacies and overcomes them, and then falls in love with the gal he's supposedly keeping an eye on. And the bad guy gets his in the end. Unfortunately, this was never seized on for a sequel, and it would have made a nice one, if the writing was as good as this one. Recommended.

Rating:
Summary: Whose your daddy?
Review: This is by far one of Arnold's all time funny movies. I personally love his comedies and this rates close to "True Lies" and "Twins". During his undercover police work some of the funniest stuff occurs when he must sub a Kindergarten class. I fell out of my chair when he said, "Whose your daddy, and what does he do?". So funny that you can find it at many soundbyte web sites. Don't miss this movie. The rest the cast including Linda Hunt are great too. Good story, direction, and music make it a cut above many cop movies.

Rating:
Summary: Easily One Of Arnie's best films
Review: This is one of Arnold Schwartzenegger's best films, proving he can do light comedy with the best of them. Highly enjoyable fun, though I agree with the previous reviewer, not a movie for young children despite the kindergarten theme.

Rating:
Summary: The Governator shows his soft side
Review: This movie gets spoofed in JibJab's short film "Ah-nold for Governor" in which the Governator cites the movie as evidence of his gubernatorial political qualifications. Hey, it's a lot more convincing than John Kerry's. Especially since this movie is so irresistible.

You just have to see the scene in which John Kimble reads the kids a poem about clouds. (Incidentally, it's Spring Morning" from A.A. Milne's book, "When We Were Very Young.") Schwarzenegger displays a Richard Belzer kind of tenderness. Then he will turn around and beat the living daylights out of the abusive father in the film ("He fell down. You all say the same thing.")

Kimble's relationship with Grace is moving and convincing and his camaraderie with his female partner Phoebe is evocative of Detectives Benson and Stabler in "Law & Order: SVU". I love the scene in which he makes up an entire background (something cops are used to doing) and Phoebe pretends to have an Austrian accent (she's almost more convincing than Ah-nold.)

The childrens' loyalty and response to Kimble is a joy to see. Schwarzenegger's work with children and his natural charisma make this fish-out-of-water story work. Anyone who's ever taught children will empathize with Kimble's disastrous first day.

There are great villains in this piece too, including a mother-in-law from hell.

My favorite lines...

Phoebe: You're not so tough without your car, are you?

Detective John Kimble: There *is* no bathroom.

Joseph: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Detective John Kimble: Thanks for the tip.

Tina & Rina: Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.

Joseph: My dad's a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.

Detective John Kimble: I Have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor!

Miss Schlowski: What did it feel like to hit that S.O.B.?
Detective John Kimble: It felt great.
(I love how the principal then starts practicing her right hook once Kimble leaves her office. You don't want to mess with this woman anyway, right hook or no.)

Detective John Kimble: Just don't throw up on me.
Phoebe: Nah, it's OK, I'm not gonna throw up on you. But I am gonna kiss you!

Detective John Kimble: I really appreciate your honesty. You happen to know someone that is not better than me?
Dominic: I don't know that many people.

Detective John Kimble: They're 6-year-old kids. How much trouble can they be?
Phoebe: On second thought, take the gun.

Crisp's mother is buying a heap of pediatric medication
Cullen Crisp: The boy's not sick.
Eleanor Crisp: Doesn't hurt to take precautions.
Cullen Crisp: Mother, you are going to make him sick. You stuffed all this crap down my throat for years, and there was nothing wrong with me!
Eleanor Crisp: That's why there was nothing wrong with you.
Cullen Crisp: Now, how can you argue with that?

Great comedy.