Rating: 
Summary: A nice suprise.....
Review: Despite recently moving trom NYC to Miami Beach, I still have a thing for Woddy Allen films. At first I wasn't interested in seeing this one.....I never had anthing against Helen Hunt, but I read such horrible things about Charlize Theron's personality/attitude that I was intent on disliking her.To my suprise, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire film. Especially Ms. Theron's performance.....which to be quite honest, changed my perception of her talent and abilities. The film ends up being funny, warm, witty and very entertaining. Something I think Woody's last few films have been missing (For some reason "Small Time Crooks" just did not strike me as a display of his optimal talent.) Check it out, even if you just rent it to test the waters.....I'm glad to have this in my collection.
Rating: 
Summary: Struggling to be positive about this one
Review: I felt like I was watching an amateur production of a minor, and long-forgotten play. I couldn't quite make up my mind if the cast were just incompetent, or the script was letting them down very badly. Probably both. Some of Helen Hunt's lines fell so flat I cringed for her. The interaction between her and Woody was possibly the least convincing bit of acting I've seen in a long time. I'm amazed he dare release it. Worse, the plot is utterly peurile and full of holes you could drive a truck through. And it isn't funny, except for a couple of minor gags. It makes "Small Time Crooks" look like a masterpiece.
Rating:
Summary: Allen Scores With "Scorpion"
Review: Doing a period piece seems to put Woody Allen at the top of his game, possibly because he has the intrinsic ability to capture a specific time and place and make a truly transporting experience out of it. Which is exactly what he's done with "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion," which he not only wrote and directed, but stars in, as well. Set in 1940, it's the story of CW Briggs (Allen), an investigator for an insurance company which, despite the exemplary achievements of CW has been slipping at the bottom line, forcing the company's exec., Chris Magruder (Dan Aykroyd), to call upon the services of an efficiency expert, Betty Ann Fitzgerald (Helen Hunt). But there's a problem right from the start, in that CW and Betty Ann simply do not hit it off. And the situation is quickly exacerbated when a rash of thefts-- involving millions of dollars worth of jewelry and goods-- begins to occur among clients for whom the company has installed security systems. An inside job is suspected, and to CW's chagrin, more outside help is brought in. So now CW has to contend with that, as well as his new nemesis, Betty Ann; and the way he sees it, there's only one way to fix it all: Solve the case. And with that, the hunt is on... Character and dialogue driven, Allen's film is loaded with atmosphere and detail that really puts you in the story; you can almost feel Bogart's presence in such films as "The Big Sleep" and "The Maltese Falcon," the spirits of which permeate this film. The dialogue is snappy and clever-- some of Allen's best ever-- and he presents it all in a way that sustains interest and makes it thoroughly involving and entertaining. In fact, it's the ongoing banter between CW and Betty Ann that really makes this one click, and it's perfectly delivered, with timing by Allen and Hunt that is right on the mark. This is the most screen time Allen has had, himself, in some time, and he's good; his trademark neurotic groping-for-a-word delivery is tempered and finely tuned, which makes his character entirely credible. Allen is looking older, but he's growing into his age well, and actually has a much less disheveled appearance here than usual, which has seemingly been an innate trait of his regardless of the role he's playing. And, though there have been films of his that one could say simply had too much "Woody" in them, that is not the case here. It's a good performance, his scenes with Hunt are alive, and he has some moments with Charlize Theron that are even better. Hunt does a great job, too; Betty Ann is a bit like her Darcy McGuire in "What Women Want," but with a harder, more intimidating edge that works well for this character. She manages to make Betty Ann both feminine and feminist at the same time, reminiscent of some of the characters that Davis, Crawford and Stanwyck played so successfully in films past. There's some obvious chemistry at work in her scenes with Allen-- the one in which they are hypnotized is hilarious-- but it's absent in her screen time with Aykroyd, though it may have more to do with their respective characters than anything. And it's refreshing to see a strong female character to whom Allen's character can relate on a personal level that, though it involves conflict, is devoid of his typically neurotic and paranoid responses. They may not like each other, but CW at least relates to Betty Ann in a very straightforward manner. It has to do with the way the characters were written, of course, but part of it is in the way Hunt transfers the Betty Ann found on the page into a real person. One of the highlights of this film is the performance by Charlize Theron, in which, as Laura Kensington, she is transformed into the second coming of Lauren Bacall. Laura is the epitome of the femme fatale, in the way she looks, speaks and moves; you keep waiting for her to say "You know how to whistle, don't you Steve?" It's a supporting role that actually affords Theron comparatively little screen time, but she makes the most of it, and she is certainly a memorable asset to the film. Also effective in a small, but pivotal role, is David Ogden Stiers, as Volton, a part that would have been so perfect for the late Orson Welles. In the absence of Welles, however, Stiers does a very commendable job. Allen put together a terrific supporting cast for this one, including John Schuck (Mize), Elizabeth Berkley (Jill), Wallace Shawn (George), John Tormey (Sam), Kaili Vernoff (Rosie), Brian Markinson (Al) and Peter Gerety (Ned). There's an inspired precision to this film, in the way Allen blends the story, characters and music (such a big part of creating that necessary atmosphere) that makes "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" something of a minor classic in the Allen canon. Aficionados of the classic films of this period will be especially delighted with this one, but anyone who appreciates a film that is well crafted and delivered and provides some solid entertainment will be satisfied, as well. Allen geared this film to a specific audience (albeit fairly wide), and for those who fall within it's parameters, it's right on target. One has to wonder, though, why he didn't film it in glorious black & white, which would have been so perfect. But taken as it is, it's still a part of the magic of the movies.
Rating: 
Summary: Now THIS is entertainment!
Review: Firstly, I'd like to tell everyone that I hardly even know who Woody Allen is. As far as I know this is the only film of his I've ever seen. I watched this movie with no bias for or against him... But I LEFT loving him! This was a great movie! What really sticks out is the dialogue, very clever and funny. The main character C W Briggs is great, as well as the secondary character Betty-Anne Fitzgerald. They both have very strong personalities. The characters and the dialogue really make this movie. And the story's interesting too, of course!
Rating:
Summary: Woody's Worst Movie Says His Biggest Fan
Review: Check my reviews of his other work. It is 5 stars all the way. I've been his hugest fan for decades, even applauding movies that he got roundly panned for, such as "Deconstructing Harry." However, he has never made a film this bad and the #1 problem it has is having HIM as its romantic leading man. He's trying to be Cary Grant in "His Girl Friday" with Helen Hunt as Rosalind Russell. Or make that Spencer Tracey in the Tracey-Hepburn comedies. He is totally unconvincing as a romantic lead. He plays a lead insurance investigator in the 1940s who is constantly at odds with his boss's girlfriend, Hunt. They are both hynotized by a magician, who begins using them for jewel thefts by triggering their hypnotic states anew. Allen is pathetic as this leading man. Since his casting of himself is all off, his humor falls flat throughout as well when he delivers his zingers to Hunt. Incredibly, he makes himself a man lusted after by no less than 3 top drawer women in their primes. To make matters worse, he also rehashes earlier, better scripts of his with this one. He combines here "Manhattan Murder Mystery," "New York Stories," "Everyone Says I Love You," with "Radio Days." "Scorpion," however, lacks the sparkle of Diane Keaton (MMM), the sheer original storytelling of NYS, the knock 'em dead musical sequences of ESILY and the warm heartedness and love of RD. I think if Allen wants to play a scathing role as he did in "Deconstructing Harry," then he should continue to put himself in front of the camera. For leading man roles, however, he needs to stay behind the camera and hire Sean Pean "Sweet and Lowdown" or John Cusack "Bullets Over Broadway" or Kenneth Branagh "Celebrity" to play those roles instead. You want to know exactly how bad this was? I put my DVD up for sale online immediately after seeing it.
Rating:
Summary: Play it Again, Woody!!!!
Review: I first watched "Curse of the Jade Scorpion" on a business flight and literally laughed my head off from start to finish. In fact, given the duration of the flight, I re-watched the movie back-to-back and found myself relishing the ingenuity and humor of the lines second time round over the space of an hour. Bought the DVD immediately as I returned home and watched the movie for the third time over the course of three days. Cross my heart, I continued to crack up over the quirky lines and snapbacks so diligently peppered throughout this gem of a comedy. Indeed, I have been a big fan of Woody Allen, especially for his nostalgic films of the bygone years so immortalised in movies like "Purple Rose of Cairo", "Radio Days", et al. What I am most pleasantly surprised by "Curse" is the inimitable return of Allenesque's hilarity and self-mockery, and if anything, much more so at a time when some reviewers deemed to be his "old age". Yes, some may argue the plot may be an ultra-simple one. But coining a wonderful phrase Allen's character quoted in the movie, it would be "multiple stupidity" to ignore a highly entertaining movie on the basis of this. I am so looking forward to catching Allen in top-form again in his upcoming fall project named "Hollywood Ending".
Rating:
Summary: Put Him Out To Pasture PLEASE!
Review: As a life-long New Yorker I have always felt a certain affection for Woody and his films. Admittedly, they started slipping as far back as Shadows and Fog, alternating with the rare triumph.
But here we see the master in true, complete decline - decrepit, depleted, dull and disorganized. The script is littered with dozens of horrible grade Z jokes. The performances are uniformly horrible. The story is a two-line gag stretched out for an interminable ninety minutes. STOP HIM BEFORE HE FILMS AGAIN!!!!
Rating:
Summary: The Curse of the JADED Scorpion
Review: is what must have engendered some of the negative reviews from this worthwhile, hilarious film. Either that or you all live in much cooler cities than the rest of us hoi polloi, because I would have KILLED to have this movie grace my local multiplex. I wont go into the plot-everyone else already has. The Picasso joke at the beginning is the best one, Woody Allen and Helen Hunt trade insults expertly(Hunt had a few weak lines, but is that her fault?) Skip the blockbusters and patronize things like this, maybe we wont have crummy movie years anymore!
Rating:
Summary: Not for cursing
Review: The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is classic Woody Allen. Wait, no... better than classic Woody Allen. His photography is greatly improved and he's even adopted several well-known actors. So can this installment live up to Allen's previous hits? In my book: absolutely. Woody Allen, of course, has some terrific one-liners, but the movie is not so funny in its dialogue and on-stage antics, but rather enjoyed by its loop-hole of a plot. The storyline here is absolutely wonderful. I don't recall a Woody Allen movie -- or any other movie -- having such situational irony! Even to the very end, Jade Scorpion is full of twists and crazy situations. I can't say what it is because the fun of it is finding out the trouble Allen gets himself into. My final words: Woody Allen at his best. Funny, but not to the extreme. Watch as a great, ironical series of events, but not for a gut-splitting laugh fest. Heck, it even has a nifty soundtrack.
Rating:
Summary: god please woody i love you dont make another one of these
Review: Frankly i dont get the good reviews for this film. I love woody. I love the hilarity of love and death, sleeper, and the like to the poignancy of manhattan, hannah and her sisters, and husbands and wives. also who can forget about the all around perfection of annie hall. However curse of the jade scorpion is absolutely horrendous. aside from my general dislike of helen hunt and most things she disgraces the screen with (aside from As Good As It Gets, she was wonderful there), these two have absolutely no chemistry. the hatred for each other seems completely forced. the entire film seems forced. honestly i could barely sit through it. come on woody give us another bullets over broadway or everyone says i love you. quit with this cutesy crap. ps i even really enjoyed small time crooks so im not all hard boiled and whatnot. this film was just complete and utter crap. definitely one of the worst of the year called one.
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