Rating: 
Summary: Very funny comedy
Review: As usual Woody Allen is being very funny. This is very typical Woody Allen comedy, and real fans will enjoy it a lot. The movie gets kind of slow in the middle, but still worth watching. The cast is great, especially hugh Grant. Enjoy!
Rating: 
Summary: moderately enjoyable comedy
Review: Though essentially a time-marking throwaway by writer/director Woody Allen, `Small Time Crooks' provides so many gems of performance that one can overlook the film's derivative plotting and overall lack of comic drive. In this film, Allen more or less abandons his customary obsession with big city neuroses and middle-aged angst in favor of a more straightforward, plot-driven comedy, paying homage in its patchwork and eclectic story to any number of earlier well-known theatrical and cinematic works. For example, the first half hour of the movie plays like a stateside version of the 1950's Italian comedy `Big Deal on Madonna Street' as a team of bumbling, far-from-intelligent small time crooks, led by ex-con Ray Winkler (Allen), sets up a cookie store as a `front' so they can drill a tunnel into a bank a mere two or three shops down the road. Then the plot of the film suddenly shifts gears when that plan falls apart and the gang hits pay dirt with the surprising success of the cookies that Ray's uncultured but well meaning wife, the former topless dancer Frenchy (Tracey Ullman), is assiduously baking and selling. The highlight of the film comes in the form of a brilliantly satiric pseudo-60 Minutes report in which Steve Kroft himself chronicles the meteoric rise that this ragtag collection of accidental entrepreneurs takes from obscure small business owners to multi-million dollar corporate giants - a report that pokes affectionate fun at the clichéd rags-to-riches theme so essential to our concept of the beloved American Dream. With this plot switch, we leave Madonna Street and head into `Unsinkable Molly Brown/Pygmalion/Educating Rita' territory as the vulgar, uncouth Frenchy realizes that, even with all her suddenly acquired wealth, she cannot possibly gain true acceptance from the elite cultural snobs she so desperately wants to impress without a little assistance from her own personal Henry Higgins, who arrives in the form of an art dealer named David played by the suave Hugh Grant. Thus, as Frenchy branches out and begins to open herself up to new cultural experiences, the couple begins to drift apart as Ray comes to crave the return to the simpler life of spaghetti and meatball dinners he knows they have left far behind. Had Allen been able to sustain the cleverness and bite that inform that `60 Minutes' segment throughout the length of the entire film, `Small Time Crooks' might have emerged as more than just the mere piece of entertaining puffery it ultimately is. Indeed, we find ourselves laughing only occasionally and often at jokes or sight gags that would barely register a chuckle in one of Allen's more sophisticated, more edgy and more character-driven works. Special note must, however, be made of some of the actors, prime among them Ullman and the always brilliant Elaine May who, as Frenchy's adenoidal, utterly befuddled and endearingly obtuse cousin, returns to her `A New Leaf' roots and provides some of the sweetest comic moments in the film. Unfortunately, Michael Rapaport, Tony Darrow and Jon Lovitz, as members of Ray's gang, though they all three give outstanding performances, aren't given enough screen time to really let their talents for comic characterization take flight. Hugh Grant is essentially Hugh Grant - which is to say that he fulfills the requirements of his part without having to stretch his thespian muscles too much. The success or failure of a comedy is ultimately determined by how often it is able to elicit laughs from the person watching it. Given that criterion, `Small Time Crooks' rates no better than a mild recommendation (though there is one very funny scene involving safecracking near the end of the film). Yet, if for no other reason than to relish a number of its dazzling performances, `Small Time Crooks' certainly earns at least a casual once-over from any Allen devotee. Guess we have no choice but to mark time right along with him!
Rating: 
Summary: Too Stupid for Words....
Review: This movie was the biggest waste of time I've been guilty of committing lately. I have never been a fan of Woody Allen, but I hoped the addition of Tracey Ullman and Hugh Grant would overcome that negative. Ray (played by Woody) is a hapless, hopeless loser who can't even hold a job as a dishwasher, and is trying to cook up a scheme to rob a bank with several other losers. He convinces his wife Frenchie (played by Ullman) to front for him as a cookie baker while he and his buddies drill through in the back room to the nearby bank. Of course, they mess it up, but in the meantime Frenchie has made a huge success of the cookie business. They go on to become fabulously wealthy, but no happier, and somehow manage to lose all their assets just as haplessly as they acquired them. The characters are all incredibly vacuous and the slapstick gags aren't even funny. The story moves so slowly that you keep hoping they're building up to something more interesting, but that never happens. If you happen to like Woody Allen (which I do not), you will probably enjoy this movie, but don't bother renting this tape unless you have absolutely nothing else to do.
Rating:
Summary: Old Woody
Review: Back to the old Woody Allen this movie is extremely clever and witty. However, it plays in mono dolby digital. This one can be viewed on any system since it's appeal is the "Woody wit of old" not the sound.
Rating: 
Summary: Aleta and I Were Rolling In The Aisle By Ourselves
Review: My friend Aleta and I have remained hard core Woody Allen films over the decades. We see his films together in the theater now and, typically, this last summer, we saw this one in an empty theater. We were the only viewers. In a way this was good because we found it utterly hilarious. We were laughing loudly the whole time. Allen has unfortunately played to mainly empty theaters in Cleveland though ever since his disastrous split from Mia Farrow. Aleta and I never judge our artists by their personal lives though; we're into them solely for their work. It is hard to see how you can go wrong with this movie. One absolutely delightful aspect was seeing Hugh Grant be enough of a sport to satirically tackle his own romantic leading man image. He is the "romantic rat" for a change, an English art dealer who courts Allen's wife, played by Tracey Ullmann. He also does none of his usual humble bumbling and shows how extremely polished, suave and deceptive he can be. How refreshing it also was to see Woody Allen paired with a female, Ullmann, who conceivably might really go out with him or marry him. It was quite a stretch to imagine Julia Roberts even going out with him as she did in Allen's "Everyone Says I Love You." Elaine May was also a comic delight as Ullman's ditzy cousin who accompanies Allen to a really "out there" party event. Allen and May I can also picture together and would love to see more of them on the screen together in the future. The premise of the whole film is well known at this point. Allen and Ullman get rich quick out of a cookie business built from a bank robbery that never came off. They then become everything that is badly funny from having "new money." All the characters that interact with them cross their paths from either the bank robbery-cookie business or their new lives as the nouveau riche or both. The only thing some viewers might have a problem with is a fairly abrupt transition from the bank robbery-cookie business episode straight into their lives full tilt as the nouveau riche. I didn't have any problem with it but jump cuts, from one big event in time to a separate big event in a separate time, generally don't bother me. I wish other Americans besides Aleta and I would take up with Woody Allen again. Much as I liked the empty theater this past summer for our laughing enjoyment, I would like to see Allen playing again to the full houses in the USA he deserves. We must look like idiots to the Europeans who never gave him up when it became fashionable here to do so because of events in his personal life. We deserve to look like idiots in this case.
Rating:
Summary: Small Time Crooks has big-time laughs
Review: Woody Allen plays an inept ex-con who has a scheme for breaking into a bank. He plans to buy a store which is adjacent to the bank and then to make an underground tunnel to the bank vault. When he asks his wife, played by Tracey Ullman, to help finance the project, she balks. Eventually she gives in and becomes his "front man" by baking cookies in the store they buy. The cookies become unbelievably successful and suddenly they are richer than in their wildest dreams. Tracey decides that she must become more cultured to fit into their new social set and she asks an art dealer, played by Hugh Grant, to tutor her in the social graces. This he does willingly with an eye to cashing in on her fortune. This movie is well-written and well-acted. The lines are witty and there is even a moral here with regard to love and loyalty. No Woody Allen darkness here--just a delightful 90-minute romp!
Rating:
Summary: As Good as Frenchie's Cinnamon Cherry Cookies
Review: Wow. This movie is so funny. Woody Allen is a genius. Seriously. From the moment i put the movie in, i was hooked on this movie. Frenchie did a great job in it- it was so funny watching her move her pathetic little self putting baked cookies on one paper plate. Her attitude is so funny! I reccomend this movie to anyone who wants a good time. It teaches good valuable lessons, but has an all star cast and a feel good plot.
Rating: 
Summary: ALLEN'S SMALL TIME MOVIE BIG DISAPPOINTMENT
Review: An ex-con dishwasher and his manicurist wife set out to rob a bank and face the unexpected aftermath of sudden wealth in this limp Allen-directed comedy. 'SMALL TIME CROOKS" limply tries to tell the story of the Winklers, Ray (Allen) and Frenchy (Tracey Ullman). Ray is a dishwasher with a failed bank hold-up to his "credit." Frenchy is a retired exotic dancer now working as a manicurist. Ray cooks up a heist with friends Tommy (Tony Darrow) and Denny (Michael Rapaport). The idea is to lease an empty pizza place next to a bank, then tunnel over to the vault and become rich. Benny (Jon Lovitz), one of Ray's friends from prison, ends up coming in on the deal. Frenchy reluctantly agrees to go along with Ray and the boys, acting as the front in the business upstairs. But since she doesn't know anything about making pizza, instead they make the front into a cookie shop which can take advantage of Frenchy's baking skills. Unfortunately, the undeniably talented leads have no chemistry. Allen and Ullman never click, so who can care about their ups and downs? Grant walks down the middle of the road, so it's impossible to care about him also. The format resembles the impromptu, live television comedies of the 1950s such as Ernie Kovacs' show. But Allen falls short of spontaneity or even the "classical" Allen comedy in this, his perhaps most narcissistic films. It is all about Allen, at the epicenter of an utterly boring and aimless work. Halfway through this movie, I thought that maybe its slow pacing was intended to give the next half contrast. Nope. That WAS it. Allen's disjointed plot and ambling pace messed up the timing, and it didn't help that many of the lines that are supposed to be funny really aren't. After three decades of Allen's self-deprecating, self-indulgence (most of which was hilarious), I had hoped that "SMALL TIME CROOKS" would show some signs of Allen's comedic maturation. Wrong! This movie even rivals Allen's last major clunker, "Celebrity." Maybe "Crooks" wasn't quite as bad as "Celebrity," but the effect is the same -- a big fat flop. This movie coming from an erstwhile comedy genius, an aging Woody Allen is worse than disappointing. It's pathetic!
Rating:
Summary: A Return To The Earlier, Funny Style.
Review: Allen takes a refreshing break from his recent "Sour'n'Dour" sensibilities and returns to an old-fashioned Woodman goof. Woody's befuddled wannabe grand larcenist and his dopey gang of lovable morons(particularly Jon Lovitz) provide plenty of belly laughs for the first third of the film; the story takes an unexpected 180 degree turn that initially throws off the established comic rhythm but eventually wins you over.Allen displays his usual stuntcasting prowess by tossing a couple of Brits into the mix-Hugh Grant typecast as a stuffy English type and the boundlessly versatile Tracey Ullman as Woody's very New Yawkish wife. The real casting coup here was luring national comic treasure Elaine May out of the director's seat and back in front of the camera for a rare acting appearance--she still possesses the chops to crack me up with just a "look" or a subtle inflection. Not Classic Woody, but an encouraging return to form and a worthwhile entertainment.
Rating:
Summary: Slapstick with a message
Review: This film takes Woody Allen back to the mood of some of his earliest works, when he was more visceral than cerebral. It is an amusing rags-to-riches-to-rags story that carries with it the subtle message that the acquisition of wealth doesn't automatically confer class and that class isn't necessarily desirable anyway. Allen sticks to slapstick themes in this story about a hapless couple that accidentally creates a mega-corporation out of a cookie store that is intended to be a front for a bank robbery. Ray Winkler is a small time crook who rents the store because it is two doors down from the bank. He intends to tunnel under the store and emerge in the bank vault while his wife Frenchy (Tracey Ullman) bakes cookies in the store above to avert suspicion. Of course, the heist is botched, but the cookie store has lines around the block and goes national. With one outrageous skit after another, Allen examines the difference between class and wealth, as Ray and Frenchy try to fit into high society. Ultimately, success becomes the Winkler's worst enemy as money buys them only misery. Allen applies his trademark manic-depressive portrayal this time to a crook that has big ideas ricocheting around a very empty skull. Allen has perfected the tortured-soul routine, which I suspect is a persona not very far its performer's true self. Tracey Ullman delivers an outstanding performance as Frenchy, trying desperately to pull off a societal con and remake herself into a modern Pygmalion. Ullman offers a great portrayal of a woman who is street smart but naïve about aristocratic ways. She handles the emotional conflict superbly as she spurns Ray for not wanting to become what Frenchy herself, despite all her efforts, can never be. Elaine May is also priceless as Frenchy's vacuous sister whose mindless chatter is often filled with pointed insight. There is much to enjoy about this straightforward comedy about simple people in extraordinary circumstances. It is slapstick with a message, which makes it both funny and mentally appealing. I rated it a 7/10. It is light fare, but very entertaining.
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