Rating: 
Summary: A Paradox on Which to Ponder
Review: It just struck me, the ongoing verbal critique of the MST 3000 panel aside: If this movie were remade today with an identical script, but; If its locale was changed to Iraq in the year 2003; If slightly more production values were invested in it, and; If it was entered in the Sundance and Cannes film festivals as an "independent production," critics around the world would hail it for its "deeply symbolic subtext" and call it a "cautionary anti-war tale, told through a surrealist's lens."
I'll place a bet on that one, dollars to donuts!
It is just unfortunate that Coleman Francis suffered the unjust fate of making movies in an age when incompetence was called by its rightful name.
With the right PR firm and slick advertising, he'd be a pretentious multi-millionaire "auteur" these days!
Rating: 
Summary: Film-making with blunt instruments
Review: Devotees of Coleman Francis (we know who you are -- we have the names) will know that not all of his films benefitted from "synched" sound. Watch "Beast from Yucca Flat" carefully, and you'll see that all the dialgue is "looped", or recorded after the fact. Sync sound brings a new dimension of awfullness to this work. Coleman and the cast mumble and stumble through their lines; if you turn your TV up to the threshold of pain, you might pick up some extra nuances from the soundtrack, but I doubt it. The skill of the sound department is more than matched by the cinematography. The film appears to have been run through an airport x-ray machine several dozen times (no doubt looking for WMD.) Black and white is pretty forgiving, but not of gross incompetence. Anyhow, as with "Wild World of Batwoman", don't try to figure out -- just open the wine, and let the waves wash over you as you laugh out loud. Rest assured that Mike and the 'bots give it the full treatment, each insult richly deserved.
Rating:
Summary: One of the best episodes
Review: Though the film is up there with Manos in sheer, unfettered badness, it only makes the send-up by Mike and the Bots that much more enjoyable. The writer of the original film apparently forgot to make his anti-hero protagonists have some kind of redeeming characteristics. As a result, we don't care what happens to them. The original film is also a collection of what they told you not to do in film school: it's badly shot, the scenes drag on because the editing isn't fast enough and there's no dramatic action in them, the audio isn't recorded well, and just about the only thing cinematically interesting is the devastated landscape of New Mexico. Though the film is designed to be a "war film", it doesn't feel like much of one due to the limited budget. When your raiding force consists of 6 extras, expect Mike and the Bots to laugh uproariously. The comedy dialogue by Mike and the Bots is hilarious. From pointing out the director/main actor's more-than-passing resemblance to Curly to turning into Carol Channing due to the bad power of the film, you'll be chuckling at this. This is up there with MANOS and Mitchell.
Rating:
Summary: Ultimate Classic
Review: Ah, Coleman Francis, what would we do without you? Well, for starters we wouldn't sit through Red Zone cuba, a truly horrendous film directed by and starring Mr. Francis himself. This movie features three cons who get recruited into an invasion of cuba/New Mexico. The sheer badness of this film must be seen to be believed, the acting is bad but the editing was worse. There are scenes that make no sense, such as the scene where two of the cons try and put up a convertable top, endless talky scenes, and about 20 minutes of training for the invasion. After the failed invasion the cons escape and search for a tungsten mine with the wife of one of their fellow invaders Sgt. Justine (Chastain). The film leads off with John Carradine and a young journalist, ("Kid looks like a reporter from the Catholic Digest" Servo) and features a guy named Cherokee Jack,("I'm Cherokee Jack!") a diner owner and his blind daughter,("she's been blind sense her husband was killed in the war.") coffee,("Ah, coffee a Coleman Francis staple") light planes,("Look peanuts aren't important just pick one!") a junkyard owner and his young daughter(father:take this to the house MTB(as daughter): What house?, MTB(as father)the blue Chevy MTB(as daughter):oh" and a police chase at the end.("Griffin. He ran all the way to hell, with a penny, and a broken cigarette") This movie is a good testing point for newbie MSTies, If you can survive this in one sitting you can survive any other MST. There is also a short about posture. favorite lines (by Mike and the bots)
"Crap, I'm locked out of my car" Mike
"Dis is a Hazelnut sumatra blend, I think you'll like it" Crow
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