The Nasty Rabbit

Rating:
Summary: 90 minutes of cinematic deep hurting...
Review: Awhile back I did a little research on the career of Arch Hall Jr., after seeing him in The Sadist (1963), which I thought was pretty good, despite the fact that Arch hall, Jr. starred in it, and found The Nasty Rabbit (1964) showing up in his credits. I read a little about it, and my bad movie instincts started to register with the more I read (I actually enjoy the occasional bad film, as I feel it stokes my appreciate of better films). Curiosity finally got the better of me, along with a low priced DVD, and I picked it up. Little did I realize just how wretchedly awful this movie was, probably the worst I've seen in a long time...and I've sat through Dan Aykroyd's abysmal Nothing But Trouble (1991).

This steaming, offensive, pile of celluloid was directed by James Landis, who also did The Sadist. I enjoyed that film, so I can't really lay all the blame on him, but he gets a lot of it...the film was co-written (two writers?) by Jim Critchfield, writer for the classic Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends, and one can sense a smidgen of the humor that made that show so wonderful trying to push through here, but never quite making it...the second writer, Arch Hall Sr., a man of many hats, writer, producer, actor, director, composer, etc. but the one film to his credit that stands out and illustrates that Arch Hall Sr. is probably the main culprit is the fact that he wrote and directed the abominably bad Eegah (1962), starring James Bond's Richard Kiel (he's in this one, too) as a caveman who gets thawed out in modern times, and pursues woman for mating purposes or such. If you've witnessed the horror of Eegah, then you might be prepared for the cinematic hurting here.

The film stars Arch Hall Jr. (nepotism in action) as rock and roller/secret government agent Britt Hunter (sounds like an Elvis movie, but I doubt even he or Colonel Tom would have lacked the sense to touch something this bad). There's a number of other `actors' in this drecky mess, but I'd prefer not to list them, and I get the feeling they'd probably thank me. I think back in the early 60's Arch Hall Jr. was being groomed by someone (I'm guessing his father) to be some sort of teen idol, as he could act (kinda), play geetar, and even sing (if you can call it that...caterwaulin' really isn't a form of singing to me), and even appeared half decent looking, despite the fact that his normally scrunched face seem to indicate he suffered a perpetual case of constipation. In terms of teen idolness, I would probably list him quite a few rungs below that of a Bobby Sherman or an Edd `Kookie' Burns.

So what's the movie about? Well, it seems the Russians are planning to release a deadly vermicious (their word, not mine) bacteria in America, and they've decided to encase it in a time-release capsule tied around a rabbit's neck. Why a rabbit's neck? I have no friggin' idea. A cadre of secret agents from around the world are interested in getting their hands on the rabbit, along with Britt Hunter (Hall Jr.). Nearly the entire film takes place on a dude ranch, as the Russian super spy is suppose to release the rabbit at some nearby location, for maximum dispersement of the bacteria, thereby wiping out the U.S. population. Whatever...that's pretty much it...the film is meant as a comedy, but I laughed not once throughout its' excruciatingly 90 minute running time. The main comedic elements were supposed to be in the form of completely exaggerated stereotypes of various foreign individuals, but I found it all to be rather embarrassing. I'm no politically correct freak, and I know this type of thing was more common and accepted 30 or 40 years ago, but even back then I couldn't help feel it was probably a bit much for people to take. We've got the German spy with the monocle and WWII helmet, the Mexican spy with a big, greasy mustache and oversized sombrero, and the Japanese spy, with the squinty eyes and round Tojo glasses, all replete with the most awful accents I've ever heard, to name a few. The dialogue is putrid and horrifyingly boring, the running gags stale beyond belief, and not one likeable character in the bunch. The only scenes I enjoyed (beside the end) were the ones were they were hitting each other on the head. I kept hoping for a lethal blow to occur, but no such luck. I can only relate the comedy here to that of the Three Stooges movies made near the end of the Stooges career, the ones with Curly Joe DeRita, but much, much worse. Someone really went nuts with the sound effects throughout the film, an aspect that became annoying very quickly. I think some of the worst lines in the film were attributed to the rabbit, as the makers of this film thought it might be funny to dub a chipmunk voice for it at certain points, with the lamest, most eye-rolling lines you've ever heard. Did I mention the movie runs 90 minutes? Part of that is taken up with a couple of musical numbers by Arch Hall Jr., and his band which actually played pretty well despite Hall, but given that whoever wrote their music lack even an ounce of originality, I'm not surprised they never enjoy any real fame.

The quality of the print provided (in letterbox format, no less!) on this DVD by Alpha Video suffers greatly the ravages of time. Lines, graininess, and a missing frame or two persist throughout, but I wasn't surprised at the quality (or lack of), as Alpha focuses more keeping the price down more than anything else. No special features, but there is a catalog of Alpha releases, for what it's worth (not much).

Cookieman108


Rating:
Summary: That Poor Rabbit Needed A Better Agent!
Review: THE NASTY RABBIT (aka: Spies a go-go) is by far the worst movie I have ever seen! I got it expecting a good old fashioned schlock-fest. Instead, I was treated to the most ridiculously dull mess ever filmed! It's a "comedy / satire" that is almost as funny as a brain tumor, and far more irritating. Picture if you will, a russian agent sent to the continental divide with a rabbit. Not just any rabbit, but a rabbit wearing a collar full of deadly bacteria intended to destroy america! The russian spy fools the locals by claiming to be from "Montana, Oklahoma" (the funniest line in the movie). Meanwhile, other agents from Mexico, Israel, Germany, and Japan (in perhaps the most imbecilic display of stereotypes ever filmed) are lurking nearby, awaiting their chance to grab the bunny. They mostly just lurk about, looking stupid. This leads nowhere and made me want to hit myself with heavy objects! Enter Arch Hall jr. as secret agent Britt Hunter, rock and roll heart-throb and motorcycle enthusiast. I saw him in THE SADIST and thought he'd be good in this. Nope, he's as talented as a hairball, and as appealing as a fly-paper sandwich. THE NASTY RABBIT is supposed to be a comedy / spy spoof / silly vehicle for moronic Arch Hall jr. music. It is none of these things, as it fails to be even slightly entertaining. I would rather drink a 32oz. jug of molten lead than suffer through it again! I only hope that those responsible for it's release have been found! The bunny looks mortified throughout and who could blame him? The characters are bereft of any qualities that could possibly make them interesting or even bearable. Please, heed my warning! If anyone tries to get you to watch this "film", run for your life! Abysmal and unwatchable...

Rating:
Summary: Pointless
Review: This "comedy" is all about a rabbit with a disease on the loose,with all manner of strange characters after it.More weird than funny,this is for b-movie freaks and very strange people only.Richard Kiel,later Jaws in James Bond,makes an appearance,but looks very confused.Who can blame him?