Teenage Zombies

Rating:
Summary: Passable DVD package for bad-movie masochists only
Review: Those who hail Ed Wood as the worst director of all time apparently have never endured any Jerry Warren flicks. Teenage Zombies is probably Warren's best (read least worst), most watchable movie, and probably the safest point of entry for the uninitiated (if you can't hack TZ, you'll really hate his even less accomplished works). That said, it's still probably rough going for all but seriously masochistic bad-movie fanatics. Four malt-shop kids led by whitebread would-be teen idol Don Sullivan (Giant Gila Monster, Monster of Piedras Blancas) go picnicking on a mysterious island and run afoul of crazed Dr. Myra (Katherine Victor: Mesa of Lost Women, Cape Canaveral Monsters, Wild World of Batwoman) and her brutish henchman Ivan (Chuck Niles), who are using 'poison gas' on a shabby-looking gorilla (and prisoners provided by the local sheriff) to create mindless 'zombies,' all in the service of nefarious foreign agents. The teens are captured and threatened with zombie-hood by Dr. Myra. Reg and Skip escape, leaving Julie and Pam locked in Myra's cage (!!!) while they go "look for help." Incredibly, there are a couple of genuine 'plot twists' before the action-packed (for Warren) denouement. Although the story moves at a slightly faster clip than Warren's usual funereal pace, and the camera actually moves once in a while, there are plenty of Jerry's signature badly-framed static master shots of characters droning on and on for what seems like hours, uninterrupted by reaction shots, close-ups, or editing of any kind. And the lack of budget is all up there on the screen: Dr. Myra's impoverished lab set gives Ed Wood and Dick Cunha a run for their money; the raft that Reg and Skip build to escape the island is pathetically, hysterically, un-seaworthy; Ivan the 'zombie' henchman, perhaps menacing in 1959, today just looks like your average wino; they occasionally attempt to hide the fact that most of the exteriors were shot without sync sound by having the actors face away from the camera, or by obscuring their mouths in other exotic and hilarious ways (just like in Beast of Yucca Flats); and the already meager 73-minute running time is padded with lots of footage of the teens walking around the island and cruising around in a boat. (My wife refers to these as "dancing" movies; see The Creeping Terror or Teenage Gang Debs.) Fans of poverty-stricken 1950s cheapies will probably have fun with the amateurish acting, ludicrous dialogue, awkward pacing, and overall tacky aura. Normal People who like Good Movies beware! (But if you think this is bad, try watching Warren's Creature from the Walking Dead or especially Attack of the Mayan Mummy sometime.)
Retromedia's total DVD package is pretty decent even though the 35mm source element is mildly flawed. The feature looks very good to excellent overall, with generally acceptable brightness, contrast, sharpness, and grayscale (although the shadow detail fills in a bit at times). There is the typical light speckling and blemishing, as well as some moderate lining that mars the first 10 minutes or so of the movie and recurs a handful of times throughout. In sum, far from pristine, yet quite watchable (besides, it's Jerry Warren; the scratches kind of add to the cheesy ambience). The included Teenage Zombies trailer looks fine, as good or better than the feature itself, with excellent tonal values and sharpness, and minimal speckling/blemishing. There are also brief (approx. 7 mins each) but fairly interesting recent interviews with Chuck Niles (who remembers Warren as "a nice guy" who liked to laugh a lot but wasn't particularly concerned with "details") and Katherine Victor, who seems to believe that her association with Jerry Warren movies essentially torpedoed her career. Interestingly, both recall being genuinely amazed (at the time) at how easily they got their parts in Teenage Zombies. My only real gripe with this DVD is the forced inclusion (unless you go through the chapter stops menu) at the beginning of the feature of an idiotic Drive-In Theatre featurette, hosted by Fred Olen Ray, and containing partial nudity. Nothing hardcore, but tacky and out of place in a G-rated 1950s schlock program like this. Fred, baby, leave that stuff on your Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers DVDs where it belongs.