Sinderella and the Golden Bra / Goldilocks and the Three Bares (Something Weird)

Rating:
Summary: Softcore pain
Review: Don't think of these as adult movies, think of them as slow death. These movies were made back in the 50's or 60's when nudity was thought of as forbidden. What these movies are are comedies (though not very funny) but with some women losing their cloths. All you will see are breast (nice and natural) and butts (fat by today's standards). That's all you'll see. Pubic hair was too risky so you won't see any in this film.
I bought this DVD for only one reason, Fanny Hill, and this isn't the Fanny Hill I grew up watching. This one was ugly. If you're gonna bye this one, spend as little money on it as you can.

Rating:
Summary: Softcore pain
Review: Don't think of these as adult movies, think of them as slow death. These movies were made back in the 50's or 60's when nudity was thought of as forbidden. What these movies are are comedies (though not very funny) but with some women losing their cloths. All you will see are breast (nice and natural) and butts (fat by today's standards). That's all you'll see. Pubic hair was too risky so you won't see any in this film.
I bought this DVD for only one reason, Fanny Hill, and this isn't the Fanny Hill I grew up watching. This one was ugly. If you're gonna bye this one, spend as little money on it as you can.

Rating:
Summary: fractured fairytales, Something Weird-style!
Review: Something Weird comes up trumps again with this new double-feature with a 'fairy tale' theme. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a wild and wacky ride!

SINDERELLA AND THE GOLDEN BRA (directed by Loel Minardi): Beautiful Derella (Suzanne Sybele) is mistreated horribly by her evil Stepmother (Patricia Mayfield) and her two stepsisters Flossy (June Faith) and Fanny (Joan Lemo). When the handsome Prince David (Bill Gaskin) decides to throw a royal ball in search of a wife, Derella's 'Fairy Godfather' (Sydney Lassick - ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST) climbs through her window and gives her a beautiful new dress, a coach and a golden brassiere.

At the stroke of midnight, Derella flees, leaving the lovestruck Prince holding her gilded B-cups...so he decides to try the bra on all the eligible maidens in the land, to track down his beloved.

Totally campy, and oh-so-enjoyable. Believe it or not, the otherwise-crappy score includes a few delights, including Derella's "My Day is On It's Way" and the Stepsister's "Pity, It Couldn't Be You". The transfer of the film is the only blackspot, with a badly-damaged print on offer here (the only complete print in existence, apparently). Sound quality varies, with a distinct humming sound evident towards the end of the film.

GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BARES (directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis): Lovely Allison (played by B-movie starlet Vicki Miles) mysteriously leaves her boyfriend every weekend to attend a nudist camp. Not a lot of story on offer here but quite a bit of flesh, with Bill Kerwin, Rex Marlow, Mal Arnold, Delores Carlos and Craig Maudslay Jr. all getting into the act. The very first 'nudist-camp musical', it is quite enjoyable with a few good numbers like "Half a Dream" and "That Night When We Were Young". The print for the film is a thousand times better than the SINDERELLA print, coming directly from the original EastmanColor film-stocks. Colors are nicely-saturated and the 2-channel stereo mix serves its purpose. Turn on the audio commentary for yet another hilarious chat with David Friedman and Mike Vraney (joined by Frank Henenlotter).

But, for a real good time, skip GOLDILOCKS and head straight for the extra features. There are trailers for "Sinderella" and "Goldilocks", as well as trailers for "The Adventures of Lucky Pierre", "Boin-n-n-g!", "Bunny Yeager's Nude Camera", "Calendar Pin-Ups", "French Without Dressing", "Not Tonight Henry" and "She Should Have Stayed in Bed" (which features both Audrey Campbell and Gigi Darlene)

Even better are the fantastic short-subjects, which include:

CINDERELLA'S LOVE LESSON: 50's stripping-queen Lili St. Cyr plays a bored Cindy who is visited by a floating magic wand. Her stuffed cat is turned into a fur coat and she finds jewelry in her soup! At midnight all her clothes disappear in front of a very-shocked Prince. Utterly hilarious!

GOLDIELOCKS GOES GLAMOROUS: A young girl in a bikini wanders into a neighbor's backyard and takes a dip in their pool. She is then scared off by another bikini-clad lovely wearing a stuffed bear's head!

THIS DIARY BELONGS TO FANNY HILL: A lovely blonde Fanny recounts her day's adventures seducing men while posing in front of her mirror doing a striptease. (Directed by Barry Mahon).

NUDE IN THE WINDOW: Three bored New York girls devise ways how to catch the attention of a handsome male neighbor through their apartment window.

DOUBLE TROUBLE: Darlene Bennett (BAD GIRLS GO TO HELL) shares the screen with her sister Rita in this hilarious short where the 'grueseome twosome' switch places while seducing a prospective new boyfriend.

THE SUPER DREAMS: Extra-long featurette (27 minutes) about a bored janitor who envisions himself a producer auditioning several naked girls for a movie.

There's also a gallery of magazine covers set to the theme-music of BOOBY-TRAP.

For more Something Weird madness, I also recommend the double-features "The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill/The Head Mistress", "Bad Girls Go to Hell/Another Day Another Man", "The Violent Years/Girl Gang"; and the triple-feature disc of "Olga's House of Shame/Olga's Dance Hall Girls/White Slaves of Chinatown".

Rating:
Summary: fractured fairytales, Something Weird-style!
Review: Something Weird comes up trumps again with this new double-feature with a 'fairy tale' theme. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a wild and wacky ride!

SINDERELLA AND THE GOLDEN BRA (directed by Loel Minardi): Beautiful Derella (Suzanne Sybele) is mistreated horribly by her evil Stepmother (Patricia Mayfield) and her two stepsisters Flossy (June Faith) and Fanny (Joan Lemo). When the handsome Prince David (Bill Gaskin) decides to throw a royal ball in search of a wife, Derella's 'Fairy Godfather' (Sydney Lassick - ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST) climbs through her window and gives her a beautiful new dress, a coach and a golden brassiere.

At the stroke of midnight, Derella flees, leaving the lovestruck Prince holding her gilded B-cups...so he decides to try the bra on all the eligible maidens in the land, to track down his beloved.

Totally campy, and oh-so-enjoyable. Believe it or not, the otherwise-crappy score includes a few delights, including Derella's "My Day is On It's Way" and the Stepsister's "Pity, It Couldn't Be You". The transfer of the film is the only blackspot, with a badly-damaged print on offer here (the only complete print in existence, apparently). Sound quality varies, with a distinct humming sound evident towards the end of the film.

GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BARES (directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis): Lovely Allison (played by B-movie starlet Vicki Miles) mysteriously leaves her boyfriend every weekend to attend a nudist camp. Not a lot of story on offer here but quite a bit of flesh, with Bill Kerwin, Rex Marlow, Mal Arnold, Delores Carlos and Craig Maudslay Jr. all getting into the act. The very first 'nudist-camp musical', it is quite enjoyable with a few good numbers like "Half a Dream" and "That Night When We Were Young". The print for the film is a thousand times better than the SINDERELLA print, coming directly from the original EastmanColor film-stocks. Colors are nicely-saturated and the 2-channel stereo mix serves its purpose. Turn on the audio commentary for yet another hilarious chat with David Friedman and Mike Vraney (joined by Frank Henenlotter).

But, for a real good time, skip GOLDILOCKS and head straight for the extra features. There are trailers for "Sinderella" and "Goldilocks", as well as trailers for "The Adventures of Lucky Pierre", "Boin-n-n-g!", "Bunny Yeager's Nude Camera", "Calendar Pin-Ups", "French Without Dressing", "Not Tonight Henry" and "She Should Have Stayed in Bed" (which features both Audrey Campbell and Gigi Darlene)

Even better are the fantastic short-subjects, which include:

CINDERELLA'S LOVE LESSON: 50's stripping-queen Lili St. Cyr plays a bored Cindy who is visited by a floating magic wand. Her stuffed cat is turned into a fur coat and she finds jewelry in her soup! At midnight all her clothes disappear in front of a very-shocked Prince. Utterly hilarious!

GOLDIELOCKS GOES GLAMOROUS: A young girl in a bikini wanders into a neighbor's backyard and takes a dip in their pool. She is then scared off by another bikini-clad lovely wearing a stuffed bear's head!

THIS DIARY BELONGS TO FANNY HILL: A lovely blonde Fanny recounts her day's adventures seducing men while posing in front of her mirror doing a striptease. (Directed by Barry Mahon).

NUDE IN THE WINDOW: Three bored New York girls devise ways how to catch the attention of a handsome male neighbor through their apartment window.

DOUBLE TROUBLE: Darlene Bennett (BAD GIRLS GO TO HELL) shares the screen with her sister Rita in this hilarious short where the 'grueseome twosome' switch places while seducing a prospective new boyfriend.

THE SUPER DREAMS: Extra-long featurette (27 minutes) about a bored janitor who envisions himself a producer auditioning several naked girls for a movie.

There's also a gallery of magazine covers set to the theme-music of BOOBY-TRAP.

For more Something Weird madness, I also recommend the double-features "The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill/The Head Mistress", "Bad Girls Go to Hell/Another Day Another Man", "The Violent Years/Girl Gang"; and the triple-feature disc of "Olga's House of Shame/Olga's Dance Hall Girls/White Slaves of Chinatown".