Rating: 
Summary: Noah's Ark
Review: Terrible, Jon Voight is Awful in this Slap in the face to all Bible Believers. Talk about liberty's taken! Avoid at all costs
Rating:
Summary: Hilariously Inept and Inane
Review: This movie could be a classic in the vein of Monty Python's Life of Brian if they would have billed it as a parody. A drama it is not. What is most astounding is that a film like this can get the green light and make it to the screen (albeit the small screen). I can picture the NBC execs passing around the script; "Wow! What an epic! That Noah did more than just build that boat!" The most hilarious scene of all is when, after fire reigns down on Sodom & Gomorroh, an exhausted Noah and his wife take a break and she tells him "Noah, you should write all of this down otherwise no one will know you were here." Oh. That explains the discrepencies. Wait. I almost forgot! The portrayal of Lot as a horned-helmeted
Viking-like hellraiser is absolutely classic.
Rating:
Summary: get it back ... please good god no!
Review: Anyone familiar with the old sitcom THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES might remember Jethro Bodien's comment about wanting to be a brain surgeon or a soda jerk. This movie suffers from terminal Bodeinism! It doesn't know if it wants to be a drama a comedy a documentary a bicycle or a banana. As a result it fails miserably in all categories. A virtual marathon of meandering occasionally interrupted by inept attempts at intentionally inappropriate humor. There is so much about this movie that's just not good from the unconvincing acting to the awful scriptwriting that the only thing to say is THIS IS BAD ... REAL BAD!
Rating:
Summary: The Worse Bible Movie Ever Made
Review: This is probably the worst Bible movie ever made. It combines the stories of Noah and Abraham into the life of one person (Noah), and then it adds some special affect miracles to give it glitter. It directly contradicts the Bible in so many places it would be impossible to list in this short review. The biggest problem with the film is that some people will watch it and think this is the story of Noah from the Bible. It is not!
Rating: 
Summary: Not a keeper
Review: Definitly does not follow the bible well, This
was not creative liberties, because the same special
effects could have followed scripture. It was either
ignorance or deliberate. However, since many "highly
religious" folk tend to only look at what they want to
in the bible and ignore the rest, or interpret the bible
different from other religious, how bad this is
might be debatable. The special effects are good. James Cobern keeps popping
in humourous way. The violence was pretty bad, I had originally purchased
this for my children to help them learn a bit more about
scripture, thought it would be educational, but the
violence was so bad and it was so biblically inaccurate,
I decided against letting them see it.
Rating:
Summary: Noah's Ark
Review: This is very bad and clumsy movie. I was absolutely shocked
by this irresponsible work to make Biblical movie.
It seems that producer deliberately made up everything, to show
that Bible for him is just a book of fairy tales.
To be short I'd like to say, that this movie doesn't not deserve
to be watched.
Rating:
Summary: Noah's Ark
Review: This movie is not biblicaly based. I would not recommend this movie for viewers that want truth. Noah was not instructed by God to leave Sodom, it was Lot and his wife and two daughters.
Rating:
Summary: This film is very inaccurate
Review: I would be surprised if the producers of this film even read the Bible. This movie is FULL of errors and contradicts what is written in the Bible. The destruction of Sodom and Gamorrah happend nearly 1,000 years AFTER the great flood. There were No survivors of the flood except for those on the Ark. There were no pirates roaming the waters after the flood. Noah didn't shut the door to the Ark, God did. The acting is very poor and portrays God in a very blasphemous manner. If you are looking for a story about what REALLY happened with Noah's Ark, Don't waste your time or money with this hideous and God-forsaken excuse for a movie. You would find better accuracy in one of the children's animated version where talking giraffes have the job of watching for icebergs and warn Noah when they see one.
Rating:
Summary: The Boat that didn't float ...
Review: This ARK has been ship wreaked on the ocean floor, and please no one try to raise it. Bad acting, bad script, bad FX, bad everything. Okay, so they said upfront that they stretched it a little to get a better story, but this was to much of a stretch even for the Bible. Looking more like a really bad scene from Saturday Night Live bit than the quality I've seen Hallmark produce. I don't know how to put it into words other than to say ... this movie really was bad. God was wishy-washy as to what he wanted to do, Noah was a drunk, the rest were just as strange and the tiny ship was lost in a bad movie. I think the Koala said it best when it took a power poop on screen. Clearly they tried to make an epic on a B-movie budget. What a waste of film, save your money and read the book.
Rating:
Summary: "There's bad... worse... and this version of Noah's ark!"
Review: I was sincerely hoping that this version of the Flood narrative might be a fine compliment to the other biblical films such as 'Moses', 'Joseph', 'Abraham', etc. My hopes were dashed in about fifteen minutes, by having the privilege of watching perhaps the worst biblical epic ever filmed. This flop was a disaster WORSE than the Great Flood! Good heavens--who was in charge here?? The more familiar one is with the real story, the more disappointed one will be in this film. It bears little resemblance to God's version of the account, and I honestly can't think of anything good about it. The actors were generally miscast (John Voight as Noah??), the special effects--weren't, and the rewritten plot was frankly, flat boring. Is this the worst biblical film I've ever seen? Well....it's close. You know, some movies are worth watching because they're SO bad, they're almost humerous. This movie is worse. What's better? ANYTHING on another channel.
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