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American Virgin

American Virgin

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Not good for what it is, because it doesn't know what it is.
Review: I always like to say that it is best to review a movie in the context of what it is trying to be. I have a different set of expectations for a Hollywood Blockbuster than I do for something from the Sundance Film Festival and I have a different set of expectations from a romantic comedy and an erotic thriller.

Unfortunately, I don't think that American Virgin knows what it wants to be. Given the Cast (Mena Suvari, Bob Hoskins, Robert Loggia) one might expect a sophisticated comedy. Given the subject matter and setting (a porn producer fighting his rival for the film rights to his daughter's deflowering) as well as the supporting cast (several actual actors from the worlds of porn and erotica) one might expect a campy late-night, Cinemax sexual slapstick. The Trailer and description suggest a dark comedy about sexuality in American society. The film tries to be all of these at times and ends up falling short constantly.

As a serious comedy, it immediately fails. Suvari apparently made this film before her break through roles (in fact, its original title, "Live Virgin" was apparently changed to capitalize on her success in "American Pie" and "American Beauty", both far better films). Hoskins and Loggia have both performed a slew of better roles. The film simply isn't as well plotted and performed as one might hope a mainstream comedy would be.

As a titillating farce the film equally fails. The comedy tries to alternate between situational ironies, one-line zingers, visual sight-gags and slapstick hijinks. Its failure to commit to one and follow through causes confusion in the viewer and calls attention to the films other failures and inconsistencies. In a lower budget film, these failures might be covered up through the misdirection of constant nudity or frequent sexual interludes, but contrary to what one might think upon reading a synopsis of this film, there is only brief nudity (by characters that one wouldn't even consider in supporting roles) and only the smallest hint of sex or eroticism (it almost doesn't bare mentioning).

Most disappointing is the films inability to be the dark and poignant comedy that given the subject matter it could have been. There is a message of social commentary buried deep (very deep) inside all of the other non-sense that occurs. But it is only barely explored and all but lost amid the confusion of the rest of the film.

I won't go so far as to give the film a 1, because there are a few laughs to held, and because the film is trying to do something somewhat ambitious. I can't recommend it as any more of a curiosa worth owning to complete Suvari's trifecta of virginal roles with the word American in the title or as a film worth dissecting in a fit of boredom. It is truly sad that this couldn't be so much more.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: american rubbish
Review: I rather enjoyed the first 20 minutes or so of "American Virgin," finding it kind of funny and irreverent. It did, however, get progressively worse and worse until it reached its horribly predictable cop-out conclusion. The box cover is misleading as well - Mena Suvari is not even in that many scenes. The premise of this film is Suvari's questionable decision to appear in a new interactive late-nite program entitled "Live Virgin" on which she will be deflowered on live television, and the efforts of her father and ex-boyfriend to stop her. Her father is incidentally an adult film director himself, whose objections to "Virgin" have as much to do with jealousy that his rival in the business came up with this multi-million dollar idea as concern for his daughter's well-being. The entirely exhausting and annoying scenes with the two men fighting are long and many and the misunderstood ex-boyfriend subplot tedious. I think the producers of this film have misjudged their target audience. At least in my estimation, not too many people who would seek out a movie called "American Virgin" are going to appreciate its moral underpinnings and utter lack of any sexual content. The sophomoric impotence jokes, too, are tasteless and painfully unfunny. Too bad, considering this film's surprising and highly talently cast. One star for the great Bob Hoskins, and well, because you can't give it zero.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Lovely Mena Is ... Wasted: Watch "American Pie" Instead
Review: I read about "American Virgin" when it was still called "Live Virgin" on an British movie magazine, and the review then was not good at all. Now I found its title changed owing to Mena Suvari's rising stardom, and I got it on Amazon co. jp. (Thanks for your fast delivery). Well, I tell you, fans of lovely Mena, I found this turns out to be really ... bad.

Let me correct one misunderstanding (if you have) on your side that this is a Mena Suvari film. No. It's stars are Robert Loggia ("Independence Day") and Bob Hoskins ("Monalisa"), and Mena plays the secondary role no matter what you see on the video jacket. The male players are adult film directors, and kind of rivals to each other. And daddy Robert finds her daughter Mena Suvari is going to 'star' in Bob's live-net show, in which Mena loses her virginity, sharing the experience on the net with audience wearing green-colored techno-suits which give the same sensation the lucky guy is going to have.... Oh dear.

But of course, this is a comedy, and actually I found little nudity (and none of Mena, thank Heaven), so guys, don't be mistaken. The film is totally devoid of humor, and the two veteran actors are only swearing dirty words in public, on TV, and whenever they get a chance, and the film seems to think it's funny. Mena's boyfriend is a crying mama's boy, and trying to do something to change her mind, always breaks something in an awkward way. But I never found a single moment even slightly funny during the course ... but remember, I am a Japanese, and that's because cultural diference. But I laughed lots of good and healthy laughs while watching "American Pie."

Probably, besides the dismally made sequel to "Carrie," this is a film Mena Suvari wants to forget. If you're a truly devoted fan of her, watch it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Lovely Mena Is ... Wasted: Watch "American Pie" Instead
Review: I read about "American Virgin" when it was still called "Live Virgin" on an British movie magazine, and the review then was not good at all. Now I found its title changed owing to Mena Suvari's rising stardom, and I got it on Amazon co. jp. (Thanks for your fast delivery). Well, I tell you, fans of lovely Mena, I found this turns out to be really ... bad.

Let me correct one misunderstanding (if you have) on your side that this is a Mena Suvari film. No. It's stars are Robert Loggia ("Independence Day") and Bob Hoskins ("Monalisa"), and Mena plays the secondary role no matter what you see on the video jacket. The male players are adult film directors, and kind of rivals to each other. And daddy Robert finds her daughter Mena Suvari is going to 'star' in Bob's live-net show, in which Mena loses her virginity, sharing the experience on the net with audience wearing green-colored techno-suits which give the same sensation the lucky guy is going to have.... Oh dear.

But of course, this is a comedy, and actually I found little nudity (and none of Mena, thank Heaven), so guys, don't be mistaken. The film is totally devoid of humor, and the two veteran actors are only swearing dirty words in public, on TV, and whenever they get a chance, and the film seems to think it's funny. Mena's boyfriend is a crying mama's boy, and trying to do something to change her mind, always breaks something in an awkward way. But I never found a single moment even slightly funny during the course ... but remember, I am a Japanese, and that's because cultural diference. But I laughed lots of good and healthy laughs while watching "American Pie."

Probably, besides the dismally made sequel to "Carrie," this is a film Mena Suvari wants to forget. If you're a truly devoted fan of her, watch it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Unbelievable****And NOT in a good way!!!!
Review: I would not normally take time to do this but I feel I should save anyone I can on this one.

DONT DO IT...Step away from the VCR...

I rented this movie because I was hoping to (honestly) =P see some action with Mena Suvari! Well, I was painfully disappointed!! The movie is not only poorly written and directed but the acting could probably be smelt three counties away during filming. Although I do like several of the actors, they were, by far, at their worst. The only moment in the entire movie that was worth the strain to focus your eyes, was when Joey, played by Bob Hoskins, was tied up, tortured, and "revived" by his wife. If you've seen it you know what I mean, if you haven't, it's not worth it!

If you still feel the need to see this movie, please rent it! (And make sure you rent at least one other title to watch after you turn this one off in the first 10 minutes.)

Hope this helps=)...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A must for a Mena Suvari fan...
Review: If you are an avid fan of Mena Suvari, this is a must for you. Although not comparable to he previous American Pie and American Beauty stint (when will the word American stop...?) it's quite very average with all other movies.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Abominable
Review: No bottom ten list would be complete without this torturously bad film. This moronic farce stars Mena Suvari, who it seems has decided to make a career out of playing characters trying to lose their virginity.

Bob Hoskins and Robert Loggia play two rival porn directors who hate one another because Ronny (Loggia) stole Joey's (Hoskins) wife. Joey takes revenge by recruiting Ronny's daughter Katrina (Suvari) to lose her virginity via a cable hookup where viewers can participate in the event by wearing a special sex simulation suit. Sally Kellerman plays a sleazy, Jerry Springer type talk show host who interviews Joey and Katrina and follows the story to the end.

This film fails on just about every level imaginable. The script is trash. The dialogue is imbecilic. There is no acting, just a bunch of people screaming at the top of their lungs and running around like lunatics. There isn't even any real sexual content. The entire film is like a series of Jerry Springer outtakes.

This abomination has earned the bestowal of my lowest dishonor: a rating of 1/10 (a rare besmirching). Do not eat for 5 hours before attempting to watch this film.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Abominable
Review: No bottom ten list would be complete without this torturously bad film. This moronic farce stars Mena Suvari, who it seems has decided to make a career out of playing characters trying to lose their virginity.

Bob Hoskins and Robert Loggia play two rival porn directors who hate one another because Ronny (Loggia) stole Joey's (Hoskins) wife. Joey takes revenge by recruiting Ronny's daughter Katrina (Suvari) to lose her virginity via a cable hookup where viewers can participate in the event by wearing a special sex simulation suit. Sally Kellerman plays a sleazy, Jerry Springer type talk show host who interviews Joey and Katrina and follows the story to the end.

This film fails on just about every level imaginable. The script is trash. The dialogue is imbecilic. There is no acting, just a bunch of people screaming at the top of their lungs and running around like lunatics. There isn't even any real sexual content. The entire film is like a series of Jerry Springer outtakes.

This abomination has earned the bestowal of my lowest dishonor: a rating of 1/10 (a rare besmirching). Do not eat for 5 hours before attempting to watch this film.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Not as great as no one thought would be.
Review: When a young beautiful woman (Mena Suvari) decides to lose her virginity in a live boardcast show in the internet. When her father (Robert Loggia)-her porno filmmaker dad decides to stop her to before she does it but a Preverted Filmmaker (Bob Hopkins) is going to direct his daughter for the show. The pair of Porn Peddlers go to war.

Directed by Jean Pierre-Marois (Which he also Co-Wrote the film with Ira Israel) made a film that has some good laughs and a good premise but it has annoying performances by Loggia and Hopkins, despite a solid cast. This film has little to offer, not for all comic viewing. Grade:B-.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Junky Crapness Garbadgy Junkeyness
Review: When I was in college I took this class called Stage Directing. It was a great class. For my final project I directed a scene from Stephen Soundheim's wacky and profound musical ASSASSINS. After my scene ran, the only big problem everybody seemed to think it had was, THAT MAYBE THE CHARACTERS SHOULD SCREAM A LITTLE LESS. IT'S KIND OF ANNOYING IF THEY DO AND MANY TIMES IT'S FAR MORE EFFECTIVE IF THEY SEETH OR GET SOFT INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE SCREAMING LEVEL THE WHOLE TIME. NOW SINCE I'VE BEGUN SCREAMING AT YOU, YOU'RE ALL PROBABLY PISSED AND WANT TO STOP READING. Please don't there is a good explanation for my screaming.

It's the only way I can get close to describing the mess that is AMERICAN VIRIGN. A movie that is so bad, and so incredibly vapid that you can track Mena Suvari's (LOSER) fading career by it. When director SAM MENDES cast her in AMERICAN BEAUTY, I'll bet many people thought she was destined for a nice long career. Maybe, that's why a film like AMERICAN PIE looks like a step down and it's sub par sequel is even worse. But when she agreed to play a tart in AMERICAN VIRGIN, I guess her career went down the tubes with the word American.

The film tells the story of porn baron Ronny Bartalotti (Robert Loggia, Lost Highway); he's a harsh abrasive individual that loves his daughter Katrina (Suvari) very much. He would do anything for her. Too bad she doesn't see it in her father. When she agrees to work for her Dad's former employee and biggest rival Joey Quinn (Bob Hoskins, Who Framed Roger Rabbit) by losing her virginity to millions of men around the world on national TV using a virtual reality suit. It's up to dear old dad to save his sweetheart.

As this movie rolls out you begin to realize something. Nothing makes sense. It's like the director (Jean-Pierre Marois, Save the Rabbits) was given a bunch of characters and chucked a camera in their face. Loggia and Hoskins spend the entire film screaming and yelling at each other. Yes, each actor just screams, A lot! It's like Marois got mad at each actor, telling them both, you need to scream more. The movie needs more screaming. How this film got past the editing stage with so much screaming and yelling in it, is beyond me?

There is also a subplot involving a boyfriend (Gabriel Mann, Buffalo Soldiers) whose whole goal is to bump into things and fall from high places. There is also a trashy TV talk show host (Sally Kellerman, MASH) who shows up everywhere as well, cause for some reason all Talk shows are live, and have a desire to cover events like this.

The film is attempting to be a satire. But of what I'm not sure. It's like any coherent (and funny) idea was left on the cutting room floor, replaced by random scenes. There is this one scene involving a porn star that can't get it up, that goes on far to long and in the end it makes very little sense? Why it's in this movie? I guess to stretch the running time. I almost turned it off at that point.

Why anyone thought this meandering script was ripe for the plucking is beyond me. I had a pal in Los Angeles who came across a script called "****." It was the worst script ever written, but damn it had more potential than this piece of crap.

Do yourself a favor if you're passing down the video aisle and you come across a film called AMERICAN VIRGIN! Skip it! You'll be so glad you did.


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