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House of the Dead

House of the Dead

List Price: $18.00
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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Painful.
Review: I haven't seen a Horror film this bad since "Beaches," starring Bette Midler. Okay, so "Beaches" wasn't a Horror film. But it was equally painful to watch. I kept having flashbacks to another horrible film called "Humanoids from the Deep." I knew 5 minutes in that this movie was going to be a challenge to sit through to the end. However, I was laughing at how cheesy everything looked. From the ridiculous stage sets to the fake zombies(stuntmen in masks), it was all too obvious. Here are a few more examples of smelly cheese: there was an Asian babe dressed in tights made to look like the American flag--her name was "Liberty"; there was a Ripley-esque Harbor cop with a shoot first, ask questions later mentality; there was horrible, improvised dialogue--somebody got paid for this!; bad "special" effects and a lot of fireball explosions; early in the movie there were plenty of gratuitous boobie-shots for the incredibly bored male audience members; there were feeble editing cutaways to video-game graphics(was this supposed to be cool?). The only moment during the movie that was slightly watchable was the zombie-slaughter in the graveyard using Bullet-time photography a la "The Matrix." The last line in the movie was the most frightening moment of the film: "Is this the end...or only the beginning?" Please...let it be the end.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: you would have to be retarded to enjoy this movie
Review: Even if you are one of the dorks who play this video game, surely you couldn't find this movie entertaining. It is a plot-less heap of wasted film. The violence wasn't even intertaining. Twenty-something brats on an island who magically and instinctively learn how to fire automatic weapons at zombies no less. I was hoping I would aspirate my drink so I wouldn't have to continue watching it. Luckily I was in my own home so the cursing at the screen didn't offend anyone, including my wife who was cursing at it with me. Simply pathetic.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A new Cult Classic film
Review: I know some of you love or hate this film,but good for me I think
this some be a cool film base on a game,theirs at less four good
actors in the film Jonathan Cherry,Eille Cornell,Clint Howard, and Jurgen Prochnow and some did okay with bad acting,awful jokes,some Matrix zombie and real gore effect.

I hope theirs a part 2 directed by Scott Ridley so the movie can be real scary and with Bruce Campbell and a remake story, I a few
this will be the cult classic film.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: What a shame!
Review: House of the Dead. That's what we had here when we watched this groaner. George Romero, WHERE ARE YOU?? The "premise" of the movie has such potential and if you watch the extras on the DVD the whole crew thought they did a phenominal job, but it didnt come through on the film. During the "storm on the house" scene, when they try to mimic the game by doing a 360 degree view of each character, their weapons aren't even the ones they are actually using. WHERE WAS THE CONTINUITY PERSON???? The only thing positive about the whole movie was the interviews with George Romero and Tom Savini. PLEASE GEORGE, GET THE NEXT "DEAD" MOVIE MADE!!! I am sorry I actually spent money on this one. Anyone wanna buy it off of me??

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Worst Movie Of ALL Time
Review: You know what scare's me? It sure wasn't that poor excuse for a horror movie. But it's the fact that I wasted 1 1/2 hours of my life that I will NEVER get back. HOUSE OF THE DEAD is not only the WORSE movie of 2003...But the worse movie of ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL time. This movie is so bad it makes BOOTY CALL look like GONE WITH THE WIND. The acting, directing and script writing are seriously so bad my wife and I found ourselfs laughing out loud through-out most of the movie. How this movie ever made it to theaters is beyond me.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: House of the Dead
Review: 2003 was both a great year for horror films, but on the same token it was also a terrible year. Terrible horror films such as "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake and "Ghost Ship." But there were also superb horror films such as the long awaited "Freddy Vs. Jason" and "Wrong Turn." However, I skipped on one of the 'sleeper' flicks of 2003, that being "House of the Dead." "House of the Dead" is based on the forever popular video game by the same title. To say that this was a 'sleeper hit' is a understatement. The film follows a group of twenty-something's as they go onto a island for a huge rave party. What they find is something much more than they had ever bargained for: ZOMBIES! The director handles this picture perfectly. He shows gore, but more (or less) this film flows on action. We see around eight survivors, loaded to the gills with shotguns, pistols, machetes and GRENADES, on the prowl trying to escape in a local abandoned house. What ensues is around a twenty minute long action scene as the survivors try to take over the "House of the Dead" and hide for sanctuary. Like most horror films with zombies (mainly the 'Holy Trilogy' by George A. Romero) this flick will be no exception to the bashing, by viewers and critics alike. I mean, you take on a subject done so brilliantly, (from 70's-80's), you can't compare this to those landmark films. But for recent horror films and horror buffs, this film will satisfy even the blood-thirstiest fans. This film has the ability to run your addreneline and terror sky-high. Like all fans, I do have one problem with this film. That problem being that the director decided to add clips from the video game. The problem not only drags the film down, but it seems to put the clips in when all the action hits (especially the twenty-minute long zombie-killing-fest) and the horror is about to take hold. Other than that, this is an excellent zombie flick, (maybe not a Romero movie), but filled with suprises, gore, action and (of course) horror. People have judged this too harsh.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: If no one hates it, it's not worth listening to.
Review: House of the Dead (Uwe Boll, 2003)

I have heard so many horrible things about House of the Dead, which presently holds the distinction of being one of the few movies in IMDB's bottom 100 that wasn't on Mystery Science Theater 3000, that I had to rent it. In general, I think if something is that universally reviled, it can't be all that bad. Most of the time, I'm wrong. This time, though, I wasn't.

Uwe Boll, who has until now been a low-budget horror flick director (and is now specializing in videogames, helming both the upcoming films of Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne; note, however, he is not mentioned as the director of House of the Dead 2, which is in production...), and longtime cinematographic sidekick Matthias Neumann had a chance to do something fantastic here. The potential absolutely drips from this movie. Okay, so it's your basic horror film. You have to expect at least one scene of gratuitous nudity from a character who has "I'm going to die soon" tattooed on her forehead. And you have to expect a decent amount of gore. And you get both, though arguably the film could have done with about ten times as much of both. What you don't expect from this type of horror film (which, despite its professional atmosphere, does have all the low-budget hallmarks about it) is some stunning camerawork. Makes me wonder what Neumann has been doing all these years when he could have been making great films. Unfortunately, the really good stuff is patchy (the early scene where the previously-nude swimmer goes into the House of the Dead, for example, is just gorgeous) and usually followed by a shot so unbearably cheesy that it's hard to keep watching.

If you really need a plot summary, a group of kids charter a boat out to an island. They find it overrun by zombies. Bad things happen.

Sound familiar? It should. While much is made of the influence of George Romero, both in the movie and in the DVD extras, this is most obviously a direct descendant of Fulci's classic Zombie. Let's see, you've got the boat, the kids, the eerie abandoned-looking building (I really thought it was supposed to be an abandoned church while watching the movie, still think so), the flesh-eating zombies picking everyone off one by one... yeah. Except, okay, Tisa Farrow didn't know kung fu.

Not that House of the Dead will end up with the hardcore cult following of Zombie. Far from it. But you've got a bevy of beautiful babes armed to the teeth, some great makeup work on the zombies, hysterically bad videogame-esque footage intercut with scenes from the actual videogame (something for which the executive producer just short of apologized for in the DVD extras; one assumes that at least part of the funding for this came from Sega, and they were only allowed to have it with those pieces cut into the movie), and every once in a while a fantastic piece of camerawork. Just turn your brain off before you start watching, and you'll be fine. ** ½

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Aaarrghh!
Review: I made a mistake by renting this movie and an even bigger mistake by watching it. That the film is based on a video game I never heard of should have been a clue. I'm sure that it was the worst movie I ever saw.
This movie has lines like "We got to the boat but it wasn't there." and "This book, it's pretty old. Maybe it'll help us." When the kids have the chance to get of the island on a boat they are to scared because their might be a couple of zombies on the boat. Instead they choose to trap themselves in an old house, of which they know nothing, and fight off hundreds of zombies on their way to it.
Is the movie really that bad? No, it's even worse.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Avoid at all costs!
Review: Undead, Un-scary, Un-fun. In a word, crap.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Pass this one on by...
Review: Yes, it's about a video game and therefore one - I suppose - shouldn't expect too much. This "movie", however not too seriously it's supposed to be taken, is just plain unwatchable. I've done my civic duty in warning others, steer clear of this lame stinker, fight the temptation. The one star is for the disc case cover artwork, I suppose it's passable. Rent or buy another DVD you've already seen a hundred times, you'll be much better off.


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