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Dead Alive

Dead Alive

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Hilariously gruesome
Review: This movie looks like it's going to be terrifying. I watched it with some friends and it was incredibly gross. If you like humor and gore, you are going to like this move. If you want something along the lines of a real horror flick, you don't want this.

It have some VERY disgusting parts, so that may not be for some people. I have a very strong stomach, but there were some parts that I almost couldn't handle.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A comedy for horror fans
Review: This is not a scary horror movie by any means.

Nor is this a funny movie to the average film viewer.

It is, however, an extremely entertaining romp if you watch too many horror films and are not turned off by violence. An example? Toward the end our protagonist, wielding a running lawnmower, plows into endless hordes of zombies. Blood is pumped from the lawnmower at over 2 liters per second. By the time he's done (and that takes a while) the floor of the ballroom is over an inch deep and he's slipping all over the place. Obviously, the situation is perposterous. But to those of us who've seen many horror movies attempt the same thing seriously, it is a mere delight.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: The goriest zombie parody ever..
Review: This one is the most bizarre zombie parody I`ve ever seen. Yes, it is defenately a parody - this flick is so hilarious that even the wellmade and realistic zombie corpses, music and enviroment doesn`t make it up to provide a sufficient level of horror; even for a zombie parody!

The movie plot has some striking similarities with Lucio Fulci`s and Romero`s versions - the zombie bitten part starts to degenerate and you turn into a zombie. The zombies try to attack everything that moves and it is extremely difficult to kill them. Even more difficult in "Dead alive".

It doesn`t help to saw of the zombies head - every body parts, including the fingers and even the hairs must be chopped in pieces - and it is here that the plainclipper comes in handy!!

Otherwise the goreness level of this movie is simply extreme. I bet it`s even gorier and bloodier than both "Evil dead" and "Aliens". There is so much blood dripping, slim and other body fluids flying all over the place that you can hardly wait to the end; you start looking around for a WC to take a nice and releasing vomit!!

This movie will certainly reduce your appetite for days to come. Particulary the disgusting eating scenes, where they eat a pudding dripped in slim and blood will do the job.. Ew!!

Do not watch it unless you can stand a combination of blood, blood, more blood, rotten ear, spit, slim and a nice, warm pudding.....

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: All for the Love of Zombies
Review: God bless you, Peter Jackson! After "Meet the Feebles," all is forgiven with "Dead Alive," a no-holds-barred-or-even-considered zombie flick/love story/Freudian drama/splatter-fest. I had heard so much about "Dead Alive" before I watched it that I was a little disappointed to discover that it's basically a zombie flick (the cinematic equivalent of a shoot-em-up videogame), but all disappointment fell away once I let Jackson's thoroughly corrupt and hilarious vision take over.

"Dead Alive" has your basic zombieplot (or zombie situation, I guess), but it has some wonderful twists - one, that our hero's mother, an evil, oppressive witch-with-a-capital-b, becomes essentially the head zombie, leading to a climax where our hero must face down his Freudian fears to defeat her. Two, there's a charming love story buried in all the gore. Three, Jackson finds some of the darkest, blackest slapstick humor imaginable, as his zombies - and their entrails - do that thing that they do.

And oh, the payoff! So many movies botch the big ending, but the final third of "Dead Alive" is an absolutely anarchic comic nightmare, as our heroes must defend themselves from scores of party-hungry zombies (including a zombie baby muppet - maybe a bit too much, but you can't deny Jackson his indulgences). Disgusting & corrupt? Oh, absolutely. A damned good time? You bet.

Oh, and "Dead Alive" has a satisfying answer to the eternal question: "How do you kill something that's already dead, anyway?" The logical answer: "Grind it to a pulp, that's how."

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Gross!...COOL!
Review: The VHS and DVD edition are different...just so you know that! this movie is gross from the beginning to the end! but its one of my favs! if you are a hardcore gore hound, buy this movie! it is the COOLEST!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Oopsy Daisy! I Slipped & Fell Into The Bloodbath!
Review: WARNING: This film contains Bodily mutilations, Dismemberment, Decapitations, Impalings, Cannibalism, Electrocution, Zombie-love, Zombie-conception, Zombie-infant attack, Zombie-mom, Tranquilization, martial arts, sacrilege, and general murder and mayhem. There, you have been warned! Now, DEAD ALIVE is also one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. I laughed most of the way through, pausing only to groan or wince once in a while. You may already know the story: Sumatran (Skull Island) Rat Monkey in zoo bites old woman, causing her to turn into flesh-eating zombie. Lionel (dominated son of old woman) must try to control her and the others she's zombified, while attempting to date his new girlfriend, and keep his disgusting uncle from calling the police. The whole thing ending in an ocean of blood and innards. However, words cannot convey the reality! See it! The blood-soaked finale is a wonder to behold. The love story is sweet and oddly fitting. The characters are hilarious, especially mum, Lionel, the rotter uncle, Piquita, and the kung-Fu Priest! See- the fantastic cemetery showdown! Witness- the incredible beer bash / zombie holocaust! Watch- as humans are reduced to a zombie-buffet! Cheer- as true love triumphs! Yes, the zombie-baby is ridiculous, but I still cannot recommend this one highly enough, but heed the warnings! Heh-heh-heh...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: The best zombie movie EVER
Review: Do not go into this movie taking it seriously at all. Leave all logic and whatever mumbo-jumbo they taught you in film classes behind.

Have you? Good. Now that you've done that, prepare for the most sickening - and enjoyable - time you'll ever have with a horror movie. Actually, this isn't so much a horror film as a comedy of camp...but fun camp at that! I hadn't laughed so hard in a long time, and thank god it was all intentional or this review would be a lot more bitter.

The plot consists of a rat monkey (formed by "rats raping tree monkeys") stolen from an island by Wellington Zoo officials (who, by the way, are licensed to carry heavy submachine guns) to their respective zoo. While a possessive mother is stalking our lead hero and his new girlfriend, she is bitten by said monkey. The monkey is thoroughly crushed under her heel, but sadly the mother soon becomes a flesh eating zombie. So what is our hero (wonderfully played by Timothy Balme) to do?

What any good son would do, take care of mum! Unfortunately, within an hour of the movie he's got a lot more on his hands: a zombie nurse, a zombie priest, and a zombie punk - all of whom enjoy their stay in Timothy's mansion watching sitcoms in the basement. The nurse and priest shag up and create a zombie baby, which only puts more hassle on our hero; he has to beat it into submission at the city park.

This continues for most of the film's 97 minute span until finally within the last fifteen minutes all hell breaks loose. I had never realized how many horrible ways there are to dismember a human being, but this movie opened my eyes to the art of puketology. It also gave me more appreciation for my lawn mower.

I won't ruin the ending (which introduces a monster that will haunt your brain and retard sleep for nights to come), but I can reassure you this movie is definately worth your watch. I would recommend it for the graveyard scene alone where the local vicar leaps into a zombie gang and declares "I kick ass for the Lord!"

And you know what's weird? This was what Peter Jackson was doing before "Lord of the Rings"......

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Not horror, but dark comedy
Review: This movie is absolutely hilarious... the dinner scene with the pudding is classic. However, if you are looking for a scare or for a horror movie, this one's not it. There is one element that i wish they would have done without - that stupid zombie baby. However, the rest of the movie is great. If you don't own this one, at least rent it... just check your high brow taste at the door and get some friends together for beer and a barrel of laughs.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Dissapointing
Review: If you expect a good horror film, you will be sorley dissaopinted. If you expect a comedy with so-so special effects, you will love it. Granted, it does have its comedic moments like the arate priest or the persistent headless nurse, but it also has waaayyy too stupid ideas to make it even a decent movie (like the kid that is conceived and delivered by the zombie nurse and priest in a matter of hours or the zombie digestive tract).

To me, it was a major dissapointment. I like Lucio Fulci's movies and the Evil Dead movies, but other than the ridiculous gore in this one, it cannot be catalogued as a horror film.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Look who is laughing now!
Review: A long time ago when we were all saying that this was a horror gem and that the director would go on to do bigger things but there where people who would laugh at us. Now those same people are sitting jaw-smacked in front of the big screen as Gollum walks and talks like a real living thing.

Peter Jackson has made the ultimate comedy gore movie. The concept for this genre was based on Jackson wanting nothing more than to see Pinhead from "Hellraiser" fall on his face, so he went off and made his own brand of comedy gore. The end result is nothing short of sheer madness and you just wish that more indie film-makers would be granted the capital and funds to realize what is on their mind onto the screen.

This film is sick and twisted but remarkably tongue and cheek and very funny. Here there is every gag in the book from "babies in a blender" to "granny abuse". This is as a black as humour gets but also completely outrageously funny in a Buster Keaton/Three Stooges sort of way. The scenes with the Kung-Fu priest stand out as one of the funniest horror events ever filmed. The baby abuse in the park is just plain whacked in the head and a funeral turns out in the worst possible way imaginable.

The premise is simple. Lionel's mum is a cruel woman who dominates him. When she is bitten by a "Rat-Monkey" (my god you have to hear the story behind that thing) she turns into the living dead. Lionel keeps her locked up in the cellar but all hell breaks loose during a house party that turns into one of the bloodiest and goriest scenes ever committed to colloid. The final piece with a strap-on lawnmower will blow your mind.

This looks like it got a major budget to boot too and the special effects are nothing short of what you would except from makers of Lord of the Rings. This is a very squeamish and sick movie that is not for everybody. If you can stomach the gore then you will love it. Those who prefer to keep away from severed limbs flying everywhere would do best to maybe have a few drinks before watching it. It is sicko stuff but done so brilliantly!


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