The Majorettes

Rating:
Summary: Hey. I watched this movie so that you do not have to...
Review: Actually "Majorettes" came out in 1986 and its claim to fame, such as it is, would be that it was directed by S. William Hinzman, whose own place in horror film history would be, as you all know, as the cemetery ghoul at the beginning of "The Night of the Living Dead." In fact, you should probably just go watch that movie again (or for the first time) rather than watch this one, where somebody wearing a hood is going after the majorettes--that is right, not the cheerleaders, not the prom queen and her court, but the majorettes. The script by John A. Russo is based on his novel, which is something of a surprise because I do not think I have ever seen a really bad splatter flick that was based on an actual novel. I just assumed they were all written by wannabe screenwriters as acts of quiet desperation to try and fend off starvation and/or eviction. However, this one actually does try to do something different. Usually in a splatter flick the only concern is figuring out the order of the bodies on the menu, but in "The Majorettes" the last act turns the film from a slasher/splatter flick into a revenge/action film. Unfortunately the acting is uniformly bad and the direction invites all sorts of truly horrible comments about how Hinzman was apparently not acting in "The Night of the Living Dead" (which would be a good movie to watch instead of this one, in case you forgot). You will feel neither empathy with the victims of this blood fest or enjoy the way in which they are dispatched. As insult to injury, this film offers the sort of tentative gratuitous nudity that makes you wonder why they even bothered. Also known as "One by One," this is a film where few of the actors were ever heard from again for reasons that become clear why watching this film. Not that you should. So, why does this film get two stars? Because they did not actually kill people while making this movie, which would justify a lone star.

Rating:
Summary: Why did I like this?
Review: I personally love slasher films, so the late 1970s and early 1980s are years I spend a lot of time exploring. It was during this period that most of the best slasher films arrived in theaters. Films like "Halloween," "Slumber Party Massacre," "Twitch of the Death Nerve," and "Friday the 13th" set the tone for years to come. Also making an appearance during that time were lesser known films that still manage to entertain all these years later. "My Bloody Valentine," despite the appalling cuts made by the puritans over at the MPAA, is still an atmospheric film well worth watching. "Happy Birthday To Me" is another American slasher made all the more amazing by its close resemblance to an Italian giallo. Even the spoofish "April Fool's Day" evokes pleasant memories of a lost era. Thanks to the DVD revolution, I'm seeing slasher films I never knew existed. That's where "The Majorettes" comes in. I hadn't a clue about its existence until I stumbled over it on a rental excursion. When I saw it was a slasher film made in the 1980s, I picked it up without a second thought. I didn't care about quality since most of these movies possess a certain indefinable feel that transcends lousy scripts, mediocre effects, and wooden acting. Most of them do, anyway.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I really got a thrill out of "The Majorettes." Sure, it's about as cheesy a movie from the 1980s as you could find, but it's got the proper atmosphere wafting off it in waves. The film opens with one of those hypercheesy pop songs that screams the Reagan years. Moreover, we see a bunch of majorettes sporting their best dance moves, complete with '80's coifs and workout clothes, as the song soars in the background. Is this heaven? You bet it is, and it only gets better as the movie progresses. We soon meet head majorette Vicky McAllister (Terrie Godfrey) and her boyfriend. Vicky's home life isn't the greatest, as she resides with a mute grandmother and her live-in nurse Helga Schuler (Denise Huot). Helga isn't the nicest person in the world. She threatens and bullies the grandmother whenever Vicky is out of the house, and she also has a weird son named Harry (Harold Keller) who is in debt to a gang of local toughs. Since Schuler works as a janitor at the very same high school where most of the action takes place, his odd behavior extends into the hallways and classrooms. Also, he has a habit of spying on the majorettes as they take a shower after their practices. When a camouflaged figure begins felling the majorettes, Harry Schuler seems like a prime candidate.

Or is he? "The Majorettes" drops in many red herrings along the way. The film has so many false leads that it resembles an Italian giallo film except that there isn't a black gloved killer, there aren't beautiful Eurobabes hanging around, the camera work is dull, and we don't get a lot of point of view shots from the killer's perspective. What we do get is a film that suddenly, without any warning, reveals the identity of the killer about half way through. Following closely on the heels of this revelation, another surprise rears its head. Suddenly, "The Majorettes" turns into a revenge flick that would make Charles Bronson and Clint Eastwood proud (well, maybe not), as Vicky's boyfriend goes on a rampage to avenge her untimely demise. Does he go after the real killer? I'm not telling, but I will say the sudden shift in focus, along with the sight of a teenager spraying bullets from an M-16 into a trailer full of scumbags, evoked an overwhelming urge to view all of the "Death Wish" films along with any other 1980s shoot 'em classics I could lay my hands on. I even forgave the film for the number of uninspired slasher killings in the beginning.

Not all of the kills were uninspired. The first scene, involving a guy and a girl in a car on a deserted road, looked great. We see the two talking in the car when all of a sudden the camouflaged killer leaps on top of the vehicle, plunges his weapon into the car, and dispatches his victims. Nice touch. Too bad the other majorettes don't shuffle off this mortal coil in similarly interesting ways. For example, one covered in a patina of the red stuff merely falls out of a locker when the other kids open the door. Hardly original, I know. But for some inexplicable reason I liked this film. Maybe it had something to do with the high cheese quotient, or the horrific acting chops of the principal players. Or maybe it's that last chilling scene where the killer watches the young girls practicing to become tomorrow's majorettes through the fence. I simply don't know why I liked this movie. I normally pan films with such dreadful flaws, but not this time. In a pinch, I'd say I liked it because of the cheap '80's atmosphere. It takes me back to my youth, I guess.

Thanks to Media Blasters for the abundant supplements. We get a separate soundtrack, a trailer under the film's alternate title "One by One," a thirty minute documentary about the film, stills, and trailers for "Flesh for the Beast," "Flesheater," "Slaughter Hotel," and "Faceless." Sadly, the two channel audio transfer sounds terrible, with lots of pops and crackles heard throughout the film. Condemnation for "The Majorettes" is loud, vicious, and comes from all corners, so I'm not going to suggest you run right out and pick it up. If you see it available for rental, perhaps you'll give it a shot. It can't be worse than a lot of the low budget dreck out there, right?


Rating:
Summary: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!
Review: This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I think they found people off the street to act in this movie. It's just bad. It's not bad in a cheesy, funny kind of way, it's just bad. Don't waste any minute of your life watching this movie.

Rating:
Summary: Decent... kind of
Review: Well, I came in watching this movie with very low expectations, and I got, for the most part, what I expected. There are some nice moments, like the first kill in the convertible, and the dialogue between the two kids before that, but mainly, the movie was a by the book slasher, and then the end was a by the book revenge flick. The only thing that wasn't by the book in this movie was a few nice twists towards the end, even though they weren't big enough to save the movie from being rather bland. The acting for the most part was bottom of the barrel, with the exception of a few people. And the movie just seemed like it wanted to be to main stream for its own good. Some parts just cried out for a Troma style over the top feel, but instead they were stuck in total seriousness. That killed the mood, considering that this is a movie about a man killing majorettes. Oh, and don't expect gore. There is blood, but that's it.
One thing that really bugged me was the disk it self. The sound is pretty crappy, but I'm guessing that's just from the print that Shriek Show was given, but the thing that bugged me was that at one point the movie actually skips a chapter on its own. I think it was around chapter 12. The disk just went right to chapter 14, skipping a scene that actually had some important details, and going on to one that was just pure fluff and filler. So that was a problem. Otherwise the disk is fine. I would have to say **1/2 out of *****

Rating:
Summary: Decent... kind of
Review: Well, I came in watching this movie with very low expectations, and I got, for the most part, what I expected. There are some nice moments, like the first kill in the convertible, and the dialogue between the two kids before that, but mainly, the movie was a by the book slasher, and then the end was a by the book revenge flick. The only thing that wasn't by the book in this movie was a few nice twists towards the end, even though they weren't big enough to save the movie from being rather bland. The acting for the most part was bottom of the barrel, with the exception of a few people. And the movie just seemed like it wanted to be to main stream for its own good. Some parts just cried out for a Troma style over the top feel, but instead they were stuck in total seriousness. That killed the mood, considering that this is a movie about a man killing majorettes. Oh, and don't expect gore. There is blood, but that's it.
One thing that really bugged me was the disk it self. The sound is pretty crappy, but I'm guessing that's just from the print that Shriek Show was given, but the thing that bugged me was that at one point the movie actually skips a chapter on its own. I think it was around chapter 12. The disk just went right to chapter 14, skipping a scene that actually had some important details, and going on to one that was just pure fluff and filler. So that was a problem. Otherwise the disk is fine. I would have to say **1/2 out of *****