River of Death

Rating:
Summary: Cry me a 'River,' Put on DVD now!
Review: A lost city in the Amazon jungle has John Hamilton (Michael Dudikoff) interested. There are riches hidden below, but unfortunately for he and his crew, there is a sadistic doctor there still performing offbeat operations. Disease ridden and strange tribes are spread out through the "River of Death" and the group either survives or perishes by the end of the story. The movie based on Alistair MacLean's novel is pure genius (never read the book). If I knew a river was called the "River of Death," then I wouldn't go into it. No casual swim, no fishing. Probably infested with piranha, anyway, those tribesmen needed to save makeup time for their Barbies. Why couldn't those people take a shower? If you want to stay healthy, all you have to do is stay clean. Common sense. Michael Deitykoff is a genius once again. Please put this movie on DVD right now! MGM needs to release all of Michael Dudikoff's movies.

Rating:
Summary: Great action adventure
Review: I didn't realize this was an Allistair MacLaine story. There are plenty of neat twists to keep you interested. I always have liked adventure stories that involve a group of colorful heroes/characters who go jungle adventuring together and you try to determine who will live or die by the end. This isn't a perfect movie, but fun. Personally, my favorite Dudikoff role.

Rating:
Summary: Actually, 2,5 stars...
Review: This is just ok. Nothing else. But don't waste money buying it. There are MUCH better action movies...

Rating:
Summary: Up The Lazy River of Death
Review: Well, I just finished watching this one and I'm all smiles.
This was the kinda Drive-in movie I loved as a teen. Colorful, and a surprisingly affordable budget. Hard to tell which had more twists though, the plot or the River of Death itself. But, the entertainment factor was high throughout. This 1989 sleeper features a dozen, or more, different wild Amazon tribes, some more cannibalistic than others, in some truly gritty moments including a great cook-em-up, eat-em-up scene, around the ol' camp fire. Ya got Nazis, mad doctors, psycho frauleins hell-bent on revenge, an impassioned hero whose a 2-bit Indiana Jones with a cheap private-eye narrative and an even cheaper Duran Duran haircut, mysticism, make-up galore, disease right outta Ben-Hur, characters who suddenly fall out of the script for no apparent reason and a really cool stone tiki fortress in a deep, deep jungle's "Lost City"....what's not to love. Mondo Cheap Thrills.