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Anaconda

Anaconda

List Price: $27.95
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Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Sssssssssweet movie!
Review: I just can't get enough of Jennifer Lopez (J. Lo) as an actress, so "Anaconda" has become one of my favorite movies. I liked "Enough," but THIS movie has a giant C.G.I. snake--that's pretty tough to top.

Speaking of the computer graphics, it's getting harder and harder to tell what's real and what's fake. I argued with my friend chatchi over whether or not they actually had a giant reptile swallow Owen Wilson (O. Wil)!

On the subject of O. Wil, he should ditch projects like "Royal Tenenbaums" and stick to cool horror movies. Remember "the Haunting?" He was great! His sense of humor and charm set him up perfectly as "the guy you don't think will get killed, but eventually does."

Jon Voight (J. Voi) commandeers this film with his comeback performance. He's really menacing as a modern-day pirate-type guy, especially with his unidentifiable accent, which lends him the perfect air of mystery. I don't want to give away such a masterful plot, but wait until you see J. Voi's surprise re-appearance later in the film!

Eric Stoltz (E.Sto) is my second-favorite red-headed actor (nobody beats Danny Cooksey). It's too bad he's taken out early in the film by an aquatic wasp with the apparent ability to teleport into people's mouths.

And of course, we musn't forget Ice-Cube (I. Cu). He's a terrific pick as the staunch back-up man to J. Lo. I loved him in "Trespass," and I love him here.

If you want to see a giant snake movie, skip "Jaws of Satan" and go right for "Anaconda." Fortunately, "A" comes before "J," so it shouldn't be a problem.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Ugh...Jennifer Lopez...Ugh...
Review: It's too bad they don't have a DVD option to remove Jennifer Lopez from this movie. It might actually become watcheable. It's sad that with all of todays technology, scientists just can't seem to come up with a cure for the disease that is Jennifer Lopez. Hopefully one day a cure will be found and people won't have to suffer through any more of her dreadful screen performances.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: FACT OR FICTION? YOU DECIDE...
Review: Suppose that following the upheaval of the Revolution, a single Romanov daughter eluded the clutches of those who murdered her father, the ruling Czar of Russia, to make a new life for herself hunting mammoth-sized snakes deep in the heart of the Amazon jungle; that's the intriguing premise of this live-action sequel to the the animated hit, ANASTASIA. Never feeling totally safe and always looking over her shoulder, the young Russian princess, (Jennifer Lopez in a knockout performance), adopts a new look, changes her name to Anna Conda, and embarks on a treacherous, peril-filled journey to meet her destiny - a giant snake. Entertaining from the first frame to the last, ANACONDA is also part history lesson and makes for one of the more interesting suppositions of what truly became of the heiress to the Romanov throne.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Personal Favorit,DVD SUCKS
Review: A personal favorit ovie of mine yes the Anaconda looks terrably fake but still is enteraning...
By the DVD is kinda like just buying it on VHS Yes the sound is more imrpoved but the picture just the same. The good thing is that it atelast gets the widescreen treatment it decerves. Some Deleted sceans wouldent have hurted or commintary! but comes wiht a booklet thats intresting to read.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Very Entertaining!
Review: This was very entertaining thru the whole movie,i loved jon voight as a bad guy,and the special effects were awesome,buy the dvd instead of the video,i bought 2 video's and they both seemed low quality,but the dvd is great,the special suberbit edition is coming out in august.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Another monster movie...
Review: Remember the seemingly endless stream of monster movies that were rushed into cinemas after the sucess of JAWS? Well, if you do, you'll remember that they were all entertaining rubbish movies (save for the excellent PIRANHA). Which brings us to ANACONDA, a throwback to those old cheesy B-movies. Starring Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight and Ice Cube, the film is basically a by-the-numbers pick 'em off monster movie, with both originality and subtlety nowhere to be seen. But it is fun, and the special effects are impressive, if sometimes unconvincing. And it's great to see Jon Voight overacting to the extreme. However, this is one of those films that seems more entertaining when watching it at night, when you're too tired to care about wooden dialouge and plot holes. Set your brain to half-mode and enjoy.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Don't Judge a "Movie" by its cover
Review: When I was looking around Blockbuster for a good non R rated snake movie I found Anaconda sitting on its shelf. The eyes of the Anaconda looked like they came from a deranged walrus. When I popped the VCR in my Video Machine I was really amazed. It was much better than Python and Boa. Those movies were so bad I can't even explain how bad they are. 0 doesn't even explain the rating for these movies. They deserve a rating of - 4 billion. If you rent this video and are a current victim like me take the tape anf throw it in a fire place add 2 gallons of oil and set it on fire then go to the video store and ask for your money back (if they don't give your money back beat up the clerk)

Now back to Anaconda. This movie is one of the top dangerous Animal attack movies
#1 Jaws
#2 Silent Predators
#3 Anaconda
#4 Lake Placid
#5 Arachnophobia
This movie is great except for the acting. ENJOY!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: one of the best movies ever
Review: This movie is one of the movies ever!The snake looked real not like the other "snake movies"like Boa,King cobra ,or python those movies [are bad]!If you haven't seen it go rent it then about one hour later go buy it.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: 'Anaconda' is Mammoth!
Review: Mammoth piece of film-making. Yes! The movie is about a documentary crew going down the Amazon river to tape a mysterious tribe. But, that's not all that's waiting for the team. Jon Voight as a crazy, old snake hunter is waiting for them! Yes! Wait, that's not all that's waiting for Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz, Owen Wilson and Ice Cube! Man, they packed every comedian in this movie, oh it's true! The snake hunter helps the crew find the tribe and shows them long snakeskin. "You mean there are snakes out there dis big!?" A curious remark comical Ice Cube made. Oh yes, besides a giant snake crunching its victims, Ice Cube has funny punches that he delivers to the snake hunter. You don't mess with that sucka! Also, a waterfall falls up? It was strange. Yes. There are plenty of surprises in this motion picture and I was shocked that there was another anaconda! Talk about wild adventure! Those snakes must have moved more than one-hundred miles per hour and must have been hungry to have eaten all of those people. Now, I'm hungry.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Primetime Actors... Wasted
Review: A quick gander at Anaconda's headliners (Jon Voight, Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer, and to a lesser extent Ice Cube, Eric Stolz, and J-Lo) might lead one to believe this film had some great things to offer. After all, someone enticed these big names to climb aboard. This was a case of casting agency genius, as they convinced this unfortunate bunch to take on completely flat roles and make a mockery of modern filmmaking at the same time. ("So just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...")

Almost nothing works here. The story is silly, the dialogue is drab, the direction is clumsy, and the namesake star (the snake) is pretty pitiful. Speaking of the anaconda, the effects team must not have been paid on time and was therefore disgruntled - the snake looks fuzzy and painted in for a good portion of the film. And it's always smiling, menacingly I should add, as if to say, "Pay my animator or be squished!" If you're a reptile fanatic or hate cold-blooded creatures, Anaconda's reptilian representation will stretch your endurance for flat-out fantasy. The characters' motivations (including Mr. Snakey) begged the audience to cry aloud, "AW, COME ON!" on more than one occasion.

Jon Voight, having been recently nominated for an academy award for his performance in "ALI", must want to hide this title from his resume. His character, Paul Sarone, is utter ridiculousness in celluloid form. From his ludicrously phony accent to his bizarre backstory, Sarone is so far out there it almost hurts to watch. The rest of the cast and characters aren't much of an improvement. At best, they're the worst type of Hollywood charicatures all thrown onto a boat together. Whoo-pee. ("The mate was a mighty sailor man, the skipper brave and sure...")

The tagline, "You can't scream if you can't breathe," could probably be amended to say, "You won't scream when you're asleep. Trust us, it won't take long." In short, this 89 minute snoozer will feel like "a threeee hour tour."


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