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Anaconda

Anaconda

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Voigt Carries the Film
Review: When I watched Anaconda I was surprised that it was better than I expected. Part of the reason for that was the performance given by John Voigt.

A film crew is traveling the Amazon in search of the elusive People of the Mist. On the way the rescue Voigt from a stranded ship. Voigt is a snake catcher and claims he knows where the People of the Mist can be found. In reality he is trying to lead them into anaconda territory where he hopes to catch a live specimen and make a fortune. Finally the truth comes out, as do the snakes and it becomes a battle between man and beast as well as between man and man. In the end the survivors prepare to return to their ruined careers when they stumble across the People of the Mist.

John Voigt gave an excellent performance as a Paraguayan snake catcher (Paraguayan so as no one can tell if the accent is right). John shows off a physique that shows why he was chosen to play gigolos and boxers. I did not care too much for the black cameraman. He seemed to be one great big stereotype, so city bred he can't believe that fish live in water. The only other flaw with the film is the way the snake moves. Anacondas are strong but they can not support their entire weight on the tip of their tail. It also moved faster than a striking rattlesnake. Oh well, I still really enjoyed the movie.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Don't watch alone. Don't eat during this.
Review: After originally seeing the second first, and then borrowing the superbit of this to watch, I'm actually glad I did it that way. That way, I didn't have to compare the sequel to the original if I'd seen it the right way round. Despite reading other reviewers bad reviews, I quite liked it. It dragged a bit in the middle, but the cast were excellent.

With stars like Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz, Owen Wilson, Jon Voight, Ice Cube and the fabulous Jonathan Hyde, it worked. Some of the plotlines were only hinted at, and could have been expanded if it had been rated a 15 or an 18. (Particularly the 'love' story between J-Lo & Eric - there seemed to be stuff missing from that whole sub-plot.) I loved how Jennifer (as she now wishes to be known) looked in this movie - the hair was naturally curly, and really nice, rather than straightened within an inch of its life. If you compare her here, to now, you'll notice she's become very Hollywood over the last few years. The hair's blonder, and she's skinnier too - and has noticeably given her Latino roots up. I didn't like Jon Voight's character very much - I found why he did what he did was never really explained, and one of his final scenes will either make what you're eating get thrown in the air, or you'll choke on it. Plus, he had a really dodgy Steven Segal-esque ponytail. Ugh. Most particularly, I loved Jonathan Hyde. I've never liked him much in the other movies I've seen him in (Dr Allen Chamberlain in The Mummy, and J. Bruce Ismay in Titanic - I didn't even realise it was the same actor from the latter!), but his character in this was really nice, and even funny.

Although some of the CGI snake scenes were slightly dodgy, especially when they spun their victims in the air - if they were still, it wasn't that bad - they were still good, and effective scenes. They were just as cute as they were in the sequel, and had lovely big eyes. I was particularly impressed with the detail that went into the close up shots, and a shot near the end, of a character (I won't ruin it) getting swallowed whole, and the camera actually appears to be inside the anaconda. Very funky - although a little too pink.

Eric Stoltz seemed to have an easy ride during the movie, as he spent most of the movie in bed, after receiving a quick, probably not very well done, tracheotomy.

This probably isn't the best movie for hard-core, serious moviegoers to see - they'll rip it to shreds, rather than just appreciate it. And what guy is not going to want to see Jennifer bra-less and running around soaking wet, and screaming her head off? Probably the same guy who doesn't want to see Elektra, with a very lovely Jennifer Garner, going commando. I liked this movie. The sequel was slightly better, darker, but similar in some points.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: ssssssssssssssssss!
Review: Anaconda is truly an awesome movie. The digital effects make the snake a true monster. They are awesomly real! Especially the part where the thing winds around and around the ladder chasing a man. Without a doubt, the whole movie rocks.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Into the jungle, the mighty jungle
Review: After a recent viewing of the similarly themed "Frankenfish" (in my opinion a classic in its own right) I was in the mood for more Jungle/Swamp cheese. With the recent release of Anacondas: Blood of the orchid my appetite was satiated but I figured I would start with its successor first. Not to mention that the thought of JLo in a wet tanktop playing in a movie that I know she would no longer touch with a ten-foot-pole was very enticing. Well, it just goes to show you that budget does not make a movie; I would choose the micro-budgeted "Frankenfish" over this box office sucker anyday.

A crew of documentary filmmakers travel deep into the Amazon with the aid of a river-barge in search of the elusive "people of the mist", a shiri-sharma tribe that is one of the last true mysteries remaining in the rainforest. At one point during their cruise through the swamps they come across a wall acting as a barricade. Well, it just so happens one of the guys has a bunch of dynamite sticks in his bag (!) and blows the wall to smithereens. The explosion awakens an army of snakes and giant anacondas hungry for food.

Although sometimes classified as a horror picture, "Anaconda" is anything but. There are no scares, no gore, it's really just a routine action/suspense flick. On occasion, it does deliver a few nail-biting scenes of suspense with Anacondas that look surprisingly realistic. However these scenes are few and far between: at the 45-minute mark I actually counted a grand total of one Anaconda sighting. One! The action does pick up substantially after that but the plot twists can be detected a mile away. What makes this film so campy is that it actually seems to take itself very seriously.

The cast includes a number of notable names: Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight and Owen Wilson. There's no doubt all of these people have talent and their acting is actually quite good, well maybe except for Ice Cube who really hams it up with a string of cheesy one-liners like "Thas it man, I'm goin' back to LA" or "Yo Mamma!". Strangely enough despite the star-studded cast, we never really get to like this crew. They are bone-headed, shallow, greedy people who seem more concerned with making a quick buck than saving their own lives. While watching, I never felt the least bit of emotional attachment to them and spent the whole time placing a bet on which one of these clowns would be the next to go.

I'm sure both Lopez and Owen Wilson wish this turkey was left off their resumes. So no, Anaconda does not exactly qualify as a classic, not even within this belated genre of bugs on a rampage movies. Regardless, it is still a rather fun and trashy way to kill 90 minutes of time.


Rating: 4 stars
Summary: J-Lo in a West T-Shirt: SSSSSSSSSweeeet!!!!
Review: Yes, it is a typical nature run amok tale. Stupid humans get lost in the amazon, crazy guy risks everyones life to pursue his "moby dick," peril, greed, danger, and more importantly fun!!! Creature features are not meant to be top shelf. No oscar nods, no character development. That's OK. Not everything is meant to be meaningful, as this reptile beastie of a movie is. Pure popcorn fun, lots of J-Lo in wet clothes, and lots and lots of snake food. This one matches its venom with its bite. Sit back and enjoy the ride. A pretty good sequel followed.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Anaconda: The Original Giant Snake Movie
Review: I remember watching this back in the day when it first came out. I really enjoyed it then and I think my enjoyment when I bought the DVD was just the same. This movie, imo, is like I say the original giant snake movie. It should have set the standards for other snake movies. Though as I have seen a couple others such as 'Boa' all I see is terribly written stories and horrific graphics. As opposed to this. 'Anaconda' showcases something no other giant snake movie has been able to produce. That something is the feeling of a story that could really happen, in a setting that makes it entirly possible. When you watch a movie such as 'boa' or any other giant snake movie these days with the exception of 'Anacondas: Hunt for the blood orchid' you see these stories taking place in rural areas. Happening right out in the open highways and towns and unfortunetly garages. I guess I can see what they were trying to do with that. Bringing the huge snakes to a home or in a big populated human area might let you connect more with the film because thinking they can just come out of the wild at any time and find you at your doorstep is a bit frightening. However, as I said, taking the big snakes out of the Amazon was a big mistake. Though it may scare you more, (which the awful graphics sort of stop that from happening in the first place so why bother?) by taking them out of that setting I believe they branded snake movies, for me at least, as stupid and cheesey and overdone from now on. But back to it. I rather enjoyed the snake effects in 'Anaconda'. Only a couple times did you actually feel that the snake was fake. At one point, when it was constricting 'Gary' played by Owen Wilson, it didn't look that great. With this movie I'm pretty sure they had like a mechanical snake at times with real texture and everything so it didn't all have to be computer animated and thats what made it a great watch compared to recent reincarnations. They went the extra mile to please the audience and imo it payed off. This movie also carried a good supporting cast. They each seemed to fit like a glove in their respective spots in the film. Made you really believe they were who they were acting. All the way from the boat's captain to the camera man. There was also some comedy mixed in along with some of its fierce snake scenes which really put it over for me. I saw another reviewer wrote that he just didn't like the camera man. I would have to disagree. Ice Cube had an important role and pretty much imo came through. His comedic side mixed with this 'Don't mess with me' attitude shined through. And even when they did have computer effects at points, it still looked pretty good. I mean you will always know that its not real but it doesn't look fake at all except at maybe two scenes. Which are Gary & Mataeo dying. The rest look plenty real for me. Add to all of this the suprising acting skills voight contributed as a poacher underminding a boat full of people so that he may get his pay day along with the scenes of knowledge of the great creature just totally caputres the atmosphere it needed. Really well written, directed and acted out by its respected cast. This has to be one of my favorites in my collection. A definite buy for anyone who wants to see an intising giant snake movie that actually seems like it could happen and actually seems real. Or, if you have yet to watch one of these because of maybe bad opinions toward them but you honestly wanna see or whatever then watch this first. Or just watch this lol, though I haven't seen hunt for blood orchid, it seems to be like the rest these days in graphics and it was rated 6/10 by someone I trust so the first and original will probably be all you want to see but hey whatever floats your boat. Some people don't even care about graphics they just think its cool and thats totally understandable, whatever you like. But with me I would just go with this right here. Its the best.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: nice attacks but lame movie
Review: When I watched Anaconda I was surprised that it was better than I expected. Part of the reason for that was the performance given by John Voigt.

A film crew is traveling the Amazon in search of the elusive People of the Mist. On the way the rescue Voigt from a stranded ship. Voigt is a snake catcher and claims he knows where the People of the Mist can be found. In reality he is trying to lead them into anaconda territory where he hopes to catch a live specimen and make a fortune. Finally the truth comes out, as do the snakes and it becomes a battle between man and beast as well as between man and man. In the end the survivors prepare to return to their ruined careers when they stumble across the People of the Mist.

John Voigt gave an excellent performance as a Paraguayan snake catcher (Paraguayan so as no one can tell if the accent is right). John shows off a physique that shows why he was chosen to play gigolos and boxers. I did not care too much for the black cameraman. He seemed to be one great big stereotype, so city bred he can't believe that fish live in water. The only other flaw with the film is the way the snake moves. Anacondas are strong but they can not support their entire weight on the tip of their tail. It also moved faster than a striking rattlesnake. Oh well, I still really enjoyed the movie.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: ANACONDA
Review: THIS MOVIE WAS COOL THE SNAKE LOOKS SO COOL. REALLY GOOD CREATURE MOVIE.EVEN HAS HOT ACTORS LIKE KARI WUHRE AND J-LO. GREAT BUT NO DEEP BLUE SEA.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: It's a movie with a bite!
Review: Plot: A group of filmakers/scientists journey through the amazon in search for a rare indian tribe only to encounter a snake hunter and 50-foot man-eating anaconda!
Review: Great film with a talented and impressive cast (Jon Voight(Heat), Jennifer Lopez(Evita), Eric Stoltz(Pulp Fiction),Ice Cube(Friday),Owen Wilson(Zoolander),and more...)
For a film of this genre, "Anaconda" continues to remain realistic throughout it's story.
Packed with action, suspense, and stunning visual and make-up effects, "Anaconda" delivers!


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