Barbarian

Rating:
Summary: abyssmal
Review: Absolutely an insult to the film making genre. If film had a filthy insult word to describe it, it would be "Barbarian". If I could give negative stars I would. Unforgiveable insult to the film world.

Rating:
Summary: Awful. Unless you are looking for a Cinemax late night binge
Review: How could they even allow this movie to be made? Ridiculous fighting, lame affects and women that were demeaned like rode whores.
I will make my point clear; I am all for lovely female character, but the way they showed the women here, you may as well mark them down as bulgarian sluts and awful actors.

Rating:
Summary: Awful. Unless you are looking for a Cinemax late night binge
Review: How could they even allow this movie to be made? Ridiculous fighting, lame affects and women that were demeaned like rode whores.
I will make my point clear; I am all for lovely female character, but the way they showed the women here, you may as well mark them down as bulgarian sluts and awful actors.

Rating:
Summary: SWORD OF FUN
Review: Sword and sorcery films are either good or awful. Or so awful they're good. BARBARIAN falls into this latter category. While muscleman Michael O'Hearn fits the barbarian role quite nicely, the poor former Mr. Universe couldn't act his way out of a strangehold. The women's roles are typical of the 60s gladiator movies, either tough as nails or beautiful and brainless. Filmed somewhere in or near Russia, the film fortunately, doesn't look too cheap. Martin Kove, a perennial favorite of video films, has a fun time playing the cruel ruler. The cast of females are unknown (at least to me), but nary a one will ever hit the Kristy Swanson or Bridgette Wilson level of excellence (did I Say that??). So many plot holes, but in a movie like this, you just want to see fights. They're all staged pretty tepidly and the climax is anticlimactic, but if you liked DEATHSTALKER, you'll probably enjoy this unintented companion piece.

Rating:
Summary: Sword & Sorcery Retro-Cheese
Review: The previews on this disc are for 'Barbarian Queen', 'Barbarian Queen 2' and 'Deathstalker'.
Does that tell you anything?
This little flick might have leapt right out of the 1980's. It's a low budget fantasy of the kind nobody has made in years.
There's a brawny hero, dozens of awkwardly choregraphed swordfights, cheap monster make-up, ultra-gratuitous nudity, and plenty of cornball special effects. B-movie stalwart Martin Kove has a hammy field day as the villain, but most of the performers should get credit for merely reading their lines with a straight face.
Is it good? That's kinda irrevalent. It has nice scenery and real castles, which is a step up from the 'shot-at-a-third-rate-renaissance-festival' look these things usually have. On the other hand, the score is jaw-droppingly bad, the climax is weak and there's way too much stock footage from 'DeathStalker'.
But is it enjoyable?
Well, if you get a kick out those dopey, shamelessly lurid sword & sorcery b-movies of the past, you're probably going to get a kick out of this unexpected modern update.

Rating:
Summary: Not great, but still enjoyable compared to much worse movies
Review: The story in this movie is about a fight for the possession of the three main symbols of the Indo-European civilisation, the sword (symbol of the warrior caste), the cauldron (or cup/graal, symbol of the priestly caste) a talisman of life (symbol of the caste of working people), which were possessed by Indo-European kings. In the movie, these three symbolic objects possess magic power.

This is certainly not a very good movie like Excalibur, Conan the Barbarian or Dragonslayer. The acting is poor, some of the characters are dubbed, some are not (at least there is some talking), the story may not always make entirely sense. For example, why is it so easy for Kane (the main character, Michael O'Hearn. who has as many muscles as Schwarzenegger) to retrieve the magic sword out of the cave where it is hidden (you would have expected some dragon or a fairy to guard it)?

But things are relative, I have just watched Red Sonja (starring Scharzenegger and Nielsen), and that movie has a terrible story, a cast of only about ten actors, no acting, hardly any talking except for an unsupportable child, very poor costumes and decors, I really had no fun at all watching it (see my review on amazon). By contrast, Barbarian will offer you many actors, including various kind of warriors and weapons, plenty of gorgeous women, authentic castles (the movie was filmed in Russia or the Ukraine, I don't know exactly) and decors, many nicely worked out costumes (not speaking of those of the lowest class, which is at least present, giving some realism to the movie), and, quite weirdly, a talking and walking funny teddy bear. So if you don't take that movie too seriously and don't expect something deep, you still can enjoy it.

Rating:
Summary: Poor version of Deathstalker (Literally!)
Review: This Roger Corman produced turkey was put out by New Concorde, the same company that did the bulk of the campy 80s Sword and Sorcery movies. Apparently their budget low enough that they had to use the Deathstalker's script, along with some of the old footage. Filmed in the Ukraine in some pretty nice old castles, the plot is literally exactly the same (three big magic items being collected by the bad guy sorcerer, sorcerer's tournament, etc.).

On the plus side, this allows both Barbie Benton and the Pig Guy to make a cameo as the orgy scene is replayed! While the acting is truly bad, at least the star, Michael O'Hearn, is ripped, it has a semi-recognizable bad guy (Martin Kove), and lots of hot chicks interested in exposing themselves (Just tops, and lots of 'em). On the downside, there is this sidekick "creature" thing with a Toys "R" Us lion costume on that has no role except to make truly annoying whining sounds. On the lighter side, this DVD actually has a "behind the scenes" featurette where the traitorous fighter friend talks about how this movie has "lots of emotion" in it (He really looks like he believes this!!!).

Bottom line, unless you like campy S&S movies, skip this. If you do have the "acquired taste" for these (I do), you'll like the old castles, the high T&A rating with lots of hot chicks and the cameo Deathstalker Pig guy appearance.

Rating:
Summary: Poor version of Deathstalker (Literally!)
Review: This Roger Corman produced turkey was put out by New Concorde, the same company that did the bulk of the campy 80s Sword and Sorcery movies. Apparently their budget low enough that they had to use the Deathstalker's script, along with some of the old footage. Filmed in the Ukraine in some pretty nice old castles, the plot is literally exactly the same (three big magic items being collected by the bad guy sorcerer, sorcerer's tournament, etc.).

On the plus side, this allows both Barbie Benton and the Pig Guy to make a cameo as the orgy scene is replayed! While the acting is truly bad, at least the star, Michael O'Hearn, is ripped, it has a semi-recognizable bad guy (Martin Kove), and lots of hot chicks interested in exposing themselves (Just tops, and lots of 'em). On the downside, there is this sidekick "creature" thing with a Toys "R" Us lion costume on that has no role except to make truly annoying whining sounds. On the lighter side, this DVD actually has a "behind the scenes" featurette where the traitorous fighter friend talks about how this movie has "lots of emotion" in it (He really looks like he believes this!!!).

Bottom line, unless you like campy S&S movies, skip this. If you do have the "acquired taste" for these (I do), you'll like the old castles, the high T&A rating with lots of hot chicks and the cameo Deathstalker Pig guy appearance.