Mummy Raider

Rating:
Summary: Poor by any standard.
Review: Be honest, you buy or watch these flicks for one thing...good lesbian sex scenes. This one put me off these stupid films once and for all. The main feature had only one major lesbian scene in it and it was done poorly. The short featurette was just one extended lesbian scene(arguably better than the one in the movie), shot in an amateur style. Then again, the main feature was amateurish too. Poor production values, horrible acting, bad humor, and decent action calls for lots of good sex scenes to save the day. But two not so hot scenes hardly do the job. The plentiful extras on the disc don't compensate for the disappointment of the actual features. And so you don't think I'm biased or completely ignorant, I have seen SC's Mistress Frankenstein(pretty good) and Erotic Witch Project 2(really good). Mummy Raider just doesn't cut it in the quality or quantity department(missed opportunity considering the attractive leads in the movie). Save your money and get the others, or try Play Time, Femalien, Friend of the Family, etc.

Rating:
Summary: Misty Mundae Is In It!!
Review: I wish I could give it 6 stars because Misty Mundae is in almost every scene!

Rating:
Summary: Not enough action, but Misty Mundae is wonderful
Review: In judging this movie, you have to compare the pluses and minuses. On the positive side, you have both Misty Mundae and Darian Caine (excellent), a significant amount of gunfire and explosions, a bit of a catfight, and the kind of female-specific activity that pretty much defines what Seduction Cinema is all about. On the negative side, however, you have the pretty important fact that this movie is short, even shorter than it appears. Disregarding any outtakes that might be included, you have a feature of about 46 minutes-but, there is actually a good bit of padding here (I'm talking about the movie, not the girls-they don't require any padding). The opening credits feature video clips of the coming action and run about two minutes, and the final six minutes or so consists of even more video clips of the action; at one point, they get tired of showing the same clips over and over and start flashing up still shots from the movie instead. All told, you are looking at about 35 minutes of action. I really don't know why the movie was not stretched out to a longer length; after all, a Tomb Raider spoof certainly has enough material to work with to manufacture at least an hour's worth of story, and Seduction Cinema certainly is familiar with adding scenes that are totally irrelevant to the plot.

The story isn't very compelling this time around (as if it really even matters when you're talking about Seduction Cinema movies). Dr. Humboldt (Esmerelda deLarocca) is a scientist trying to hasten the emergence of the Fourth Reich by bringing Hitler's minions back to life. To accomplish this, her team has gotten their hands on the mummy of Thotep, supposedly Egypt's most-feared pharaoh. What Dr. Humboldt needs is the secret for reanimating the mummy so that she can learn from him the secrets of life and death. Professor Kleve and his daughter Kristen (Darian Caine) have this information, so they have been captured and brought to headquarters. Kristen is convinced that her "very good friend" Misty Mundae, the Mummy Raider, will rescue her. All of the action (and I do mean all of the action) starts when Misty shows up with guns blaring, pigtails flying, and clothes dropping. The special effects aren't that bad for this type of movie, and I was rather pleased with the mummy's appearance. The lesbian love scene is unfortunately far short of steamy, and a two-part yet continuous scene is all you get before the movie ends so prematurely. All told, the disappointing aspects of Mummy Raider largely cancel out the positive qualities of the film, making this a fairly average Seduction Cinema offering. Misty Mundae fans, though, have the added incentive of watching her strut her stuff in that enticing little Mummy Raider outfit.

Rating:
Summary: Not enough action, but Misty Mundae is wonderful
Review: In judging this movie, you have to compare the pluses and minuses. On the positive side, you have both Misty Mundae and Darian Caine (excellent), a significant amount of gunfire and explosions, a bit of a catfight, and the kind of female-specific activity that pretty much defines what Seduction Cinema is all about. On the negative side, however, you have the pretty important fact that this movie is short, even shorter than it appears. Disregarding any outtakes that might be included, you have a feature of about 46 minutes-but, there is actually a good bit of padding here (I'm talking about the movie, not the girls-they don't require any padding). The opening credits feature video clips of the coming action and run about two minutes, and the final six minutes or so consists of even more video clips of the action; at one point, they get tired of showing the same clips over and over and start flashing up still shots from the movie instead. All told, you are looking at about 35 minutes of action. I really don't know why the movie was not stretched out to a longer length; after all, a Tomb Raider spoof certainly has enough material to work with to manufacture at least an hour's worth of story, and Seduction Cinema certainly is familiar with adding scenes that are totally irrelevant to the plot.

The story isn't very compelling this time around (as if it really even matters when you're talking about Seduction Cinema movies). Dr. Humboldt (Esmerelda deLarocca) is a scientist trying to hasten the emergence of the Fourth Reich by bringing Hitler's minions back to life. To accomplish this, her team has gotten their hands on the mummy of Thotep, supposedly Egypt's most-feared pharaoh. What Dr. Humboldt needs is the secret for reanimating the mummy so that she can learn from him the secrets of life and death. Professor Kleve and his daughter Kristen (Darian Caine) have this information, so they have been captured and brought to headquarters. Kristen is convinced that her "very good friend" Misty Mundae, the Mummy Raider, will rescue her. All of the action (and I do mean all of the action) starts when Misty shows up with guns blaring, pigtails flying, and clothes dropping. The special effects aren't that bad for this type of movie, and I was rather pleased with the mummy's appearance. The lesbian love scene is unfortunately far short of steamy, and a two-part yet continuous scene is all you get before the movie ends so prematurely. All told, the disappointing aspects of Mummy Raider largely cancel out the positive qualities of the film, making this a fairly average Seduction Cinema offering. Misty Mundae fans, though, have the added incentive of watching her strut her stuff in that enticing little Mummy Raider outfit.

Rating:
Summary: Poor by any standard.
Review: Mummy Raider is from that infamous lesbian sex label, Seduction Cinema. When I purchased this, I sort of knew what I was getting into, but I just couldn't pass up Misty Mundae. She is just lovely. Anyway, the plot is about a German Nazi girl (Esmerelda DeLarocca) in Berlin who kidnaps a scientists daughter (Darian Caine,) who is the only person that knows the secret to raise an ancient mummy that the Nazi girl took from Egypt(?). So on and so forth, the mummy is raised and Caine's lesbian lover, who happens to be a mummy raider, Misty, saves the day. They are so happy to see each other that they don't even wait to get it on and do it right there in front of the tied up Nazi. The Nazi girl promises to be good if they let her go and she then joins in(?). Doesn't that go against everything the Nazi's stood for? Anyway, the whole movie is just over an hour and has some pretty action packed moments, but the lesbian scenes (the whole purpose for the movie) is, surprisingly, pretty weak. There are some funny one-liners and interesting scenes if you can put up with this type of exploitation movie. There are quite a few extras though, including a music video for the theme song, and another short movie about...you guessed it! Lesbianism. Plus there is some behind the scenes stuff and trailers for other movies from this company. Only for those that like this sort of thing.

Rating:
Summary: Lame, very lame--even by Seduction Cinema's standards
Review: The problem with Seduction is they have such a bevy of beauties (Darian; Misty; Esmerelda) but they misuse them. The company aspires to be more than a softcore Playboy type, but with their directors (who don't know how to shoot sex) they end up with worse.

Which brings us to Mummy Raider.

Darian Caine is a hot, young archeologist (sure, I'll buy that) who is after the secrets of the Mummy, along with her middle age father. They are suddenly attacked by a beautiful NAZI (Esmerelda DeLarocca) bent on having the secrets for herself so she can rule the world. She decides to torture Darian until she gives up the secrets--all while her father watches (yeah, a bit incestual here). Torture to that evil hottie apparently consists of fondling and kissing Darian (poor girl!).

Twenty minutes have now passed.

Meanwhile, in a deserted warehouse, several armed men are on patrol--when Misty Mundae, Mummy Raider, leaps into their midst! She is blazing away with dual pistols ala Lara Croft, blasting villains to and fro. When she has dispatched everyone, she rushes into the Mummy chamber to stop the evil NAZI from molesting poor Darian. The father is untied, whereupon he says he'll get the police. Now the three beauties are left alone. I wonder what will happen next?

The lovely NAZI expresses regret for nearly destroying the world; and Misty and Darian, those lovely compassionate Christians, decide to follow the golden rule and forgive the lovely NAZI. Thus follows an orgy between the three.

Now, before I get to the sex, I must say that the one thing Seduction has going for it is the kissing. Unlike softcore movies, and most hardcore films, these movies have lots of girl on girl tongue action. I'm talking all the time. Throughout every sex scene the girls are constantly, passionately kissing--which explains why, as much as I hate these movies, I keep buying them. You just will not find anything like this anywhere else.

Still, the sex is attrocious. Even though the women have no problem with being completely nude (showing certain areas that only hardcore dares to show) and making out--they seem to shy away from sexual contact. And it wouldn't be so bad, but the director does not know how to shoot sex. Where someone knowledgable would shoot a certain angle from the side, this person shoots it from above, clearly letting us see that Darian is not doing what she appears to be and is obviously kissing Misty's upper thigh. It is really lame decisions like that that really hamper these films. Oh, and there is one more reason this movie sucks--

It is forty minutes long!

That's right. Thirty minutes of NAZI crap with ten minutes of fake sex. But luckily (sarcasm here) they producers included a short film on the DVD about Esmarelda's first time with a woman. Of course, it is fifteen minutes of talk with ten minutes of fake sex. Yeah, that really made the purchase worth more.

So, there you go. That is Mummy Raider. If you like a movie with chicks kissing, buy Gladiator Eroticus. Otherwise...

Rating:
Summary: Mummy Raider (2002) d: Paulin, Brian
Review: This short movie, directed by Brian [At Dawn They Sleep (1998)] Paulin, is a good example of great talent wasted on quickie soft-core parady product. His love of what he is doing, shines through in the fast edits of Nuremberg mixed with the Egypt landscapes. The explosive Morbid Vision action touches, are reminiscent of the films of John Woo, and give this sexy / action movie an extra punch. In a terrible German accent, the lovely Esmerelda DeLarocca [Gladiator Eroticvs 2001] plays the evil National Socialist Doctor Humboldt, who is trying to create a forth reich, with the help of the ancient Egyptian King Thotep? The mad doctor babe-naps Kristen Kleve [Darian Caine / Erotic Ghost, The... (2001); Erotic Witch Project 2: Book of Seduction (2001); Gladiator Eroticvs (2001)], the only one who holds the secret to raise the monster from its tomb. Soon to be a household name, as the biggest soft-core sensation since Emmanuelle (1974), Misty Mundae the girl next door type, appears as The Mummy Raider. A tighter than tight leather outfit similar to that worn by Angelina Jolie in the Play Station inspired Tomb Raider (2001), is soon torn off in an unexpected action shoot-out. The Mummy is quickly destroyed, the Doc is tied up, and the girls finally get it on. "...And when Humboldt promises to be a good girl, Misty sets her free, thus turning the ultra-erotic two-way into an even steamier menage-a-trois..."
As an added bonus the DVD contains, an even shorter short entitled My First Female Lover (2001) directed by William Hellfire. This featurette is the story of a druken collage girl's first lesbian encounter told to another friend over the phone while they both masturbate. Steamy hot stuff here indeed. Also be on the look out for the Misty Mundae film Lust In the Mummy's Tomb (2000) released soon.