Anaconda

Rating:
Summary: Hilariously Bad
Review: A perfectly good actor like John Voight (who I remember from infinatley better films such as "Rosewood" and "Deliverance") is victimized along with an assortment of others, including Ice Cube (who's character is completely unnessicary)in an ineptly directed and poorly written horror movie. Voight's campy accent is a distraction from the shallow characters and plotting. The snake is unconvincing besides. It's a known fact (trust me on this one) that no snake on Earth is fast enough to catch a running human being. Ignoring this, the snake is computerized in too obvious a way (and is too big and moves too rapidly)for it to raise any chills. Like I said before, ANACONDA has no merit save John Voight, and is likely to be forgotten in the next 5 years.

Rating:
Summary: Anaconda: An Underrated Comedy Masked As Bad Horror
Review: Anaconda is positively one of the best comedies ever made, and most of the earth's population doesn't realize it yet! The movie doesn't seem to be that funny, but take a closer look and you'll find a comic gem the likes of which you've never seen! With cameos by Owen Wilson (who basically reprises his Dignan role from Bottle Rocket), an unnecessary Eric Stoltz, the crazy-Brazilian accented Jon Voight, and gangsta Ice Cube, this movie is hilarious. Trust me. From the moment Voight steps on the scene, every line out of his mouth is funny...I heartily recommend this movie.

Rating:
Summary: And THIS got the green light...how?
Review: To put it short, ANACONDA is bad. Absolutely mind-numbingly bad. It's not even worthy of being a ripoff of JAWS, because the mention of that would insult the much better movie. The sad part? Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, and Bill Paxton are all good actors. It's not even worth of being called a guilty pleasure. The only pleasure I feel is the pleasure that it's over, and the "guilty" part? I'm guilty of actually watching this. Movie Police, lock me up.

Rating:
Summary: It wasn't too damn bad...if you ask me...
Review: I thought the movie was very good. Jennifer Lopez's acting was not at all bad as said by a low-life who's review is on this page. It's sort of scary I watched it at a sleep-over and it gave me nightmares...

Rating:
Summary: A CLASSIC IN ITS OWN RIGHT!!!
Review: For anyone following director Llosa's body of work, it becomes obvious that THIS is his best film yet!!! The casting is precise and Ice Cube shows more dimensions than ever. Jon Voight's performance can only be compared to his role in "Midnight Cowboy," Eric Stoltz steals the film with his cameos, and then, of course, there's Jennifer Lopez...But besides the directing and the quality of the performances, what holds this film together is its unpredictable script and the superb mixture of its digital and mechanical special effects. I'm in film school and I would recommend this film to any serious movie buff or film student!!! Look for the COMPARISONS with the 1950's B-monster movie classic "Lake of Fire"...

Rating:
Summary: Anaconda vs. Jon Voight: Who steals a scene better?
Review: In Anaconda, we are treated to many visual pleasures: some beautiful Amazon scenery, a 60 foot snake which looks very cool in computer mode, but really fake in model form, Jon Voight getting regurgitated, and Jennifer Lopez walking around in khaki shorts. Mmmm, Lopez. Jon Voight is awesome as a South American snake hunter who is not what he seems. Every time we don't see the snake, Voight fills the gap and tides us over nicely. Then, the snake comes along and crushes and kills people and other jungle life in increasingly entertaining ways. The plot: fairly simple, but this is not The Usual Suspects. Just show us the Snake!

Rating:
Summary: Snake looked to fake
Review: The Snake's movements were too exagerated. It moved way to fast to make it believable. If only Spielburg did this movie instead (like Jurasic Park's dinosaurs). I still thought it was a fun rental as long as you don't take it too seriously.

Rating:
Summary: Hokey Fun
Review: This movie doesn't need to win any awards, and it certainly doesn't need to try because this movie is not about that. It's about giving an old-fashioned horror movie a twist. "Anaconda" is a lot of fun, and the special effects are pretty impressive. The acting is actually pretty good for this kind of a movie. Ice Cube, Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight, and many other interesting and usually funny characters do a fine job. Don't expect a lot from this movie, but expect a good time.

Rating:
Summary: A REALLY BAD RIP-OFF OF JAWS PLUS BAD ACTING TOO.
Review: ANACONDA in my opinion is as bad as you can make a movie.With the snakes which look as fake as a GRADE B MOVIE the acting is awful too from JON VOIGHT to JENNIFER LOPEZ who seem like they need good acting lessons. My advice avoid ANACONDA you won't regret it.

Rating:
Summary: Is this movie really rated PG-13?!
Review: Well I thought this movie was bad. The special effects were sooo bad they made you laugh. But it was very violent and the language was high which I thought would be R rating