Armageddon

Rating:
Summary: You've got to be kidding me..
Review: My Goodfellas dvd has to be flipped over after an hour. The Virgin Spring is still only available on vhs. Armageddon gets a Criterion release. Makes sense.

Rating:
Summary: Thrilling and Suspensful!!
Review: This sci-fi film is supensful and will leave you hanging on the edge of your seat. It's the best sci-fi film I've ever seen! You'll never want it to end! Great Buy

Rating:
Summary: i love it
Review: i think its one of the best explosion
movies of all time. the special effects
are so awsome. it looks so real. it's one
of my favorite movies.espeshaly on DVD.
the sound is awsome too! awsome movie!

Rating:
Summary: Intense entertainment, humor, and just great fun.
Review: This film is just good fun. not really any acting, and funny as well. But this film needs no acting, its just a really fun summer time movie about the apocalypse!

Rating:
Summary: I Wanted the World to End When I Saw This Movie
Review: "Armageddon," which is at the top of my list of the most awful and embarrassing films ever made, is not entirely worthless. It is a lesson in how not to make a film. It's bombastic, monotonous, loud, over-staged, emotionally empty, crude, humorless, unsophisticated, over the top, and entirely irrelevant. Now, I can already hear the rejoinders: lighten up, it's only a movie. True, but then again, nothing is "only a movie," given that "Armageddon" cost millions upon millions of dollars to make, earned even more, and was seen by countless numbers of people. And given the centrality of film to our culture and the ways in which filmgoers personalize, love, hate, and discuss film, we can't be so complacent to say it's "only a movie."

Michael Bay is the kind of director who wields his camera as if it were a jackhammer. Jerry Bruckheimer has his name on many an expensive and high-grossing film but has yet to make a single noteworthy and intellectually important cultural contribution. Put the two together and you get a disaster. "Armageddon" has caricatures for characters, a silly and wholly unoriginal premise (how many "save the world" films must we endure?), forgetful and unintelligent dialog, ultra-thin human relationships, comical situations (even though the situations are supposed to involve danger and seriousness), and, above all, what could possibly be the most god-awful, empty, annoying, and artless visual style ever to make it to the silver screen. Michael Bay's visual language is the celluloid equivalent of the Tower of Babel. The rapid-fire editing, in which no image seems to last for more than five seconds, might seem unique and impressive (some excellent films have been made with this type of MTV-style approach), but Bay's style doesn't work because he has nothing to say with his camera, nor does he employ his technique with any sense of authority or judgment; he doesn't understand nor realize the artistic and ideological aspects of such jarred aesthetics. There's nothing deep underneath the surface, and, what is more, the frenetic pacing and editing become monotonous and meaningless the second it becomes clear that Bay does not understand changes and nuances of tone. Instead of being awed, the viewer is pummeled. It's incredibly stupid, to put it blatantly.

Everything in the film is on the surface. Even though a huge meteor is hurling towards the earth (and will wipe out all life -- oh my God!!!), there's no sense of urgency. The emotions are obvious, simplistic, and ham-fisted, cued with visuals and music that tell you what to feel and when (Hollywood films in general are adept at doing this). There's not even a remote sense of passion between Affleck and Tyler (Affleck's delivery is as wooden and perfunctory as usual). And the characteristics of the other characters are presented in the same ham-fisted, egregious manner: yes, yes, we know that Buscemi has some odd quirks; yes, yes, we know that William Fichtner takes his job seriously. And, gee, thanks Mr. Bay for the close-ups of Billy Bob's leg brace, just in case I didn't notice that he was crippled.

Of course, one could argue that "Armageddon" is a fun romp, but it's evident that Bay and Co. intended the film, aside from a few apparently comic situations (which aren't funny at all), to be a serious disaster movie. Well, it's not serious, but it certainly is a disaster.

Rating:
Summary: Armageddon
Review: Armageddon is the low-intelligence, B-type film that seems to have become so typical of uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer, with the exception of last year's Black Hawk Down, which I have not seen, yet, and which has gotten positive reviews. The plot structure is very weak, and the characters are paper thin.

The film opens with a meteor shower raining down on the earth from space, debris from an asteroid the size of Texas. After a sequence of mass destruction taking place in a big city, the government learns of the Texas-sized asteroid, and that it's going to strike Earth, which would result in the end of mankind.

The solution is to form a group of expert drillers who must travel to the asteroid and drill a hole through it, so the asteroid splits in half. That way, hopefully, the split asteroid chunks would miss Earth on it course through space. So a misfit group of oil drillers find themselves the ones for the job. The fate of planet Earth rests on their shoulders . . .

In my opinion, Armageddon is worth the rental price, nothing more. The film is miscast, and, as I've said before, the storyline is weak and the character development is almost nonexistent. In my opinion, at least. Rated PG-13. 2 stars out of 5.

Rating:
Summary: Relax & Enjoy! It's Science ***FICTION*** people!!
Review: You know, after reading some of the negative reviews of this EXCELLENT ACTION/ADVENTURE Sci-Fi movie, I can't help being curious about what the snob-rules club finds interesting. My guess would be stuffy, boring, endlessly wordy "art" flicks.

This picture has plenty to offer - action, humor, suspense, loveable and quirky characters, patriotism, phenomenal special effects & a killer soundtrack ... what's not to love?

It's two and one half hours of FUN entertainment with just enough plot to hold it all together.

It's science fiction - it's not meant to change the world, challenge your intellect or interject a new world philosophy. I feel sorry for those folks who can't relax enough to watch a well acted, well directed and well presented movie without over-analyzing every aspect of it.

Sometimes you need a movie with deep meaning. Other times you just need a little Armageddon...

Rating:
Summary: Bay and Bruickhemer are Kings of no sustance movies.
Review: It seems like every year or so, these two film makers give us all style and no substance movies. This is another one of them. It's pretty standard Hollywood fare with $100 million dollars being spent to pay half of Mr. Willis's salery and the other half on huge visual effects that make the movie look like a video on MTV. I would laugh, if it wasn;t so sad and patheic.

Rating:
Summary: This is just not right.
Review: With all the classic films out there that are damaged, out of print, or relegated to cheap video outfits like Front Row or Goodtimes, how in the HELL did dreck like "Armageddon" rate a deluxe 2-disc Criterion release? This just might be the worst movie I've ever seen. It's like "Plan 9 From Outer Space", only its plot is worse and it cost about $100+ million more to make. The only reason this thing even gets two stars is because my mother loves it, God help her.

Rating:
Summary: Another Bay/ Bruckheimer epic. Be Warned
Review: Do Bay and Bruickheimer do a 'pre take off' checklist when making a movie? I can imagine it;

A pair of good looking lovers for teenage audience....CHECK
Obnoxious soundtrack.....CHECK
Family member/lover who sacrifices themselves to save the world...CHECK
Emotive picture of stars and stripes.....CHECK
A large can of artistic licence......CHECK
Rapid fire/three second scene editing to convey action.....CHECK
Numerous movie cliches.....CHECK-point in case, vibrations may set off bomb or something similar!Agh

Im sure there are more, but to be honest ive already given these two a combined total of about 6 hours of my life, so id rather stop now.

If in doubt about the veracity of these points please watch Pearl Harbor. On second thought please dont-it is not really worth three haours of your life, take my word for it. Though in all fairness to these two inept clowns, it does work, and they have no doubt succeeded in their one sole aim-reaping the rewards of a largely pliant movie going public.