Red Sonja

Rating:
Summary: Great Conan-Esque Movie
Review: If you're even looking this up, I'm sure you are a fan of the Conan Movies, Willow, Krull, Beastmaster, etc. Yes, it is another fun and exciting little cheesy Sword and Sorcery film. This one does a good job with blending action, humor, and fantasy into a simple and fun film. If you're looking for an intense movie, try something like Fight Club, but this is one of those movies that you turn your brain off and just enjoy.

There is a lot of cheese in this movie, but I think its up to par with Conan The Destroyer, and much better than Kull The Conqueror. If you're looking for another Robert E Howard style Hyborian Age tale, try this one for size.


Rating:
Summary: By his own admission, Arnold's worst film
Review: In fairness, it is only Schwarzenegger's presence which lifts this movie out of the 1-star category. There are some fairly good fight scenes, a few nifty sets, and some nice location filming. Other than that, however, it is a waste of time. There are numerous technical errors and other indications of slipshod production values. Nielsen's acting, if you are so generous as to call it that, is embarassingly bad. Sandahl Bergman, normally pretty competent, overcooks it completely as the evil queen. If you like this type of heroine, it would be preferable to spend your time watching Xena, which though far from high art, is much better than "Red Sonja."

Rating:
Summary: great acting by NEILSEN.
Review: IN THIS MOVIE THESE TWO SEEM TO COME ALIVE ON THE SCREEN. I REALLY ENJOY WATCHING THIS MOVIE. LOOK FORWARD TO HAVING THIS FOR FAMILY.

Rating:
Summary: Total Trash
Review: Let's be real...I won't even pretend that this is a great (heck, or even good) movie. It's not. What "Red Sonja" is, is wonderfully bad...and I love it. "Red Sonja" will return to the newsstands in 2005, and in the meantime freshen up with all that is Red Sonja.

Rating:
Summary: Son-ee-yaahhh!
Review: People left the cinema during this one... and rightly so, the special effects for a 1980s fantasy swashbuckler where like something out of a 1950s Flash Gordon episode. As soon as Arnaughlt starts tossing the fake metal sea serpent about himself like Bella Lugosi in Ed Wood, you know that the film is lost.

Although the ending is not half-bad, films like Krull, Beastmaster and Conan at least have a budget for the set design. In Red Son--ee-yaahhh, the sets are made out of tin-foil, and it even looks like tin-foil! Imagine the old RANK logo with the gold gong. Imagine that stuff everywhere... pretending to be metal... but just paper blowing in the breeze. Somebody maybe conjured miracles on a $100 design budget, but to be honest it just looks like someone forgot to fire the production designer. Even Arnauhglt wears this totally g@y headband.

The story goes something along the lines of a green glowing gem that only women can use has been snatched by a wicked woman who takes it to her castle to rule the universe. Red Son-ee-yaahhh, played by Neilson, turns up to quest for the gem, meets Arnaughlt who says a few lines under a heavy accent, mainly just there for showing off his abs, meet up with a really annoying kid from china who can do kung-foo (yeah I think you get the picture).

The film throws only one half-good sword fight near the end with some prequel fights that never really leave the ground. The bad special effects made us laugh out loud in 1985 and then sneek into the other screen. You can only imagine what it looks like 2005.

This is quite possibly Arnaughlts worst film in his collection. Certainly forget he was ever in this and go get the two Conan movies instead. Why bother with this? To be honest it feels like the producers are just trying to make a quick buck on a fem-conan spin-off... which is not such a bad idea... and neither is Neilson... but the whole production is like your six year old made it in class.

Rating:
Summary: Historical romance and adventure in one...
Review: Red Sonja was an incredible movie(to me). I'm only thirteen, but I love it. I'm also a historical adventure fan, and I read and watch many things, but, as I said, I'm only thirteen. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Rating:
Summary: Red Sonja on DVD
Review: Red Sonja was Directed by Richard Fleischer(who also directed Conan the Destroyer). Admittedly, this was the worst film of the Conan style fantasy series, but it still has something to offer to loyal 80's fans. Excellent casting with the top action stars of the moment. This film has Arnold fresh off his Terminator hit, Brigitte Nielsen fresh off Rocky 4, and 80s karate star Ernie Reyes JR(star of the 80s TV series Sidekicks).

Red Sonja is fun, but it doesn't offer anything original. Just the same old save the world, good versus evil stuff.

If you couldn't get enough of the first 2 Conan movies and you need more, then pick up red Sonja. She isn't as pretty as Xena, but she and Arnold swing one hell of a sword! really excellent barbarian style sword fighting.

casting=4.5 stars
ending=4 stars
Directing and Editing=3.75 stars
plot & storyline=2.5 stars
replay value=3.5 stars

OVERALL= 3.65 TOTAL STARS

DVD FEATURES: Red Sonja has a very nice wide screen transfer, chapter selection and movie trailer.

Sadly after a long wait for this DVD, we didn't get any commentary from the director or Brigitte. That's pretty sad that they don't try to give a little more quality to the fans after a long wait. Brigitte Nielsen hasn't done a good film since Beverly Hills cop 2 in 1987, so it's not like she is too occupied. The DVD special features are pathetic. At least give us some filmographies or something...

Rating:
Summary: Very poor indeed... but I quite enjoyed it really
Review: Seriously though, if I weren't a sucker for sword and sorcery films I wouldn't have lowered myself to this. In fact the main reason I did watch it was because George MacDonald Frasier who wrote the fantastic Flashman novels and the screenplay for Octopussy, did the script or screenplay or something for this too. Once I got into the film however, I found myself... well, rather enjoying it actually. I mean, what do you really expect from flms of this sort? Nielson was wooden but sexy and cool, Arnie was as rough and gruff (and tough) as you could want from a sword swinging barbarian, the evil queen was deliciously cliched, and as for the rest of the cast, well who really cares? I just wish the female audience could have been given another nice young male character to look at if Arnie wasn't quite to their tastes - and less of the fat annoying bodyguard, please!

Rating:
Summary: Lame
Review: The supporting role from good 'ol Ah-nold is enough to watch Red Sonja, a film made after the equally lame Conan the Destroyer (that film and this are were both directed by Richard Fleischer), and the real kicker here folks: even though Red Sonja takes place in the world of pulp author Robert E. Howard, Arnold doesn't play the warrior king that made him famous. If you can get past that, there actually are a few redeeming qualities, such as the casting of Brigitte Nielsen as Sonja, who physically is perfect for the role. She faces off against an evil empress (Sandahl Bergman, from Conan the Barbarian) seeking revenge with help from good 'ol Ah-nold. Even though this was made in 1985 and the excellent Conan the Barbarian was made in 1982, it's amazing how Conan has aged gracefully and this hasn't aged well at all. Red Sonja was lame then, and it's still lame now, so if you've never seen it, you're not missing much, and are better off sticking with your Conan the Barbarian DVD.

Rating:
Summary: What the Hell happened?
Review: The whole time that I was watching this movie, I kept thinking to myself what a shame it was that it's so bad, when it has so much potential.

And this movie really does have a lot of potential. Starring Arnold Schwarzenneger, who we already know can do sword-and-sorcery quite well, and Brigitte Nielson, who is gorgeous and neat in the title role, this movie certainly had the potential to go forward in that regard, and it was directed by the same guy who did Conan the Destroyer, and we know he can handle these movies at least somewhat competently, so what went wrong?

The main problem is the presentation of the film itself. Whereas its predecessors, the Conan films, relied on and were centered on their extremely powerful music and visuals, this movie had pretty weak, typical, light musical fare that from some composer I've never heard of.

Another fault was the humor. Barbarian took itself too seriously, but that was okay as it was a serious movie. Destroyer didn't take itself seriously at all, which worked out pretty well as it wasn't a serious movie. This isn't a serious movie, but it is taking itself way too seriously. The whole thing from the dialogue through the special effects through the costars are unintentionally hilarious.

Another problem with this film was the continuity department. As noted in the previous review...the body blinks. More stuff like that occurs. Someone takes an arrow in the back, and then is laid on her back. And for us REH fans...How in hell is Arnold the High Lord of Hyrkania?

The special effects are ridiculous, most notably the pitiful "talisman" which can "destroy the world through storm and earthquake" and the cut-screening of the queen at the end. I couldn't quite tell what to make of "the machine," but I wasn't very impressed, and the bone bridge was kind of ridiculous.

And the absolute worst thing about this movie is -- the opening. Sonja wakes up, beaten and bloodied, and in order to show the viewer the background story, an angel comes down and tells her, "Sonja, Queen Gedren came, ordered your parents killed, allowed her soldiers to rape you, and burned your home. To get the revenge which you will seek I vest in you great sword-arm strength." BS! The movies short enough, it would have been helped by including that scene as an opening rather than as a story being told to a participant by some weirdo sword carrying angel.

However, despite all the problems with this movie, a couple things stand out, which is why I gave it a 2 instead of a 1. First of all, the swordplay. While at times a bit overwrought, this is some of the best, most realistic, onscreen broadsword fighting you'll see. The other is Sonja herself. She is a gorgeous, strong actress whose only fault was deciding to accept a part in this film.

And the last thing is, despite it all, I somehow enjoyed this film. It must be that appeal that all things foolish have for people, but God help me, I enjoyed the thing.