Rating: 
Summary: MST3K's early years
Review: It's not a BAD effort, but it is from the first season (1989) and is really quite different than you may be expecting. Tom Servo has a different voice, and they are all green in the foreground instead of the black you may be used to seeing them in the theature. They are also kinda slow when it comes to offering jokes directed at the movie, so much so, you find YOURSELF making funnier ones without getting in their way. There are much better ones, so get it if you are trying to finish off your collection.
Rating: 
Summary: Face it, it's bad.
Review: It's not the special effects or sets, it's not Servo's voice, it's not Dr. Erhardt (though all of those things are terrible, no question - probably worse than the movie). The Crawling Hand is, like most of their early episodes, just plain bad due to bad, unfunny writing. Sure, they were new at it and hadn't found their niche yet, but that's no excuse to release a turkey like this (or any of their early episodes) to video, where it may be some poor soul's first exposure to this fine show.
Rating: 
Summary: Rough around the edges, but still quite enjoyable
Review: It's true that this episode from Season 1 of MST3K is rough around the edges, but that doesn't mean that it's not enjoyable. The biggest flaws are long silences, some unfunny riffs ("Sure, next you'll tell me there's a ring around Uranus!"), and a couple awkward host segments (especially the intro). However, the novelty of seeing a first season episode is enough to make this episode worth purchasing, and it's actually quite entertaining. There are some really memorable riffs in this episode ("It's the Crawling Bladder!"), and at times they keep coming steadily, like in later seasons. The episode does get off to a shaky start (the intro segment is sloppy, and most of the bad riffing seems to be concentrated within the first 30 minutes), but thankfully gets much better as it goes on. I wouldn't recommend this to someone new to MST3K (get Manos: the Hands of Fate and I Accuse My Parents first), but it's a real treat for MSTies.
Rating:
Summary: More spontaneous
Review: Joel Hodgson has always been embarrassed by his early work. After a few seasons on Comedy Central MST and CO asked that their first year work not be rerun or used for all day marathons. They are the best judges of their work, and if you're not a huge MST3K fan I'd recommend taking their advice.However, I personally enjoy the early years of MST3K. My personal collection includes taped episodes of the original KTMA channel 23 episodes where Joel and Co got their start. The jokes are spontaneous, by not having a heavily scripted show one can almost relax a little bit, and see for themselves the .... in all its glory. "The Crawling Hand" is also one of my favorites from the first season due to the epic amount of word play and puns. There are several solid groups of bellyaching laughter when one pun after another after another are delivered by Servo and Crow. I also like the more homey feeling of the visual aspects of the film. I grew up watching MST3K on television with poorer picture quality and I get a bit nostalgic. But like I said earlier, Joel is the best judge of his own work, and if he is unhappy with the earlier episodes, I recommend you take his advice
Rating: 
Summary: The Crawling Bland
Review: Like many shows, MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 had its mix of good and bad episodes. While it's not the best installment ever made, THE CRAWLING HAND still manages to be somewhat entertaining, thanks mostly to some appallingly bad puns and a movie goofy enough to be hilarious on its own. It's something of a cliché in terrible science fiction movies to have dismembered body parts wandering around on their own. In this movie, as you may have guessed from the title, it's a hand (actually most of an arm) that has the ability to jump around killing people long after the rest of its body has been blown up. In addition to strangulation, it may also have the ability to turn mild-mannered, boring teenagers into zombies, though not made clear is whether the arm really has this power, or if this is some sort of side-effect of the Bad-Science Space Radiation. The mocking of the film is done fairly well, but this is an early episode and the gang isn't quite at the mastery of the form they would achieve in later seasons. There are a few major periods of silence during the movie, and this forces us to pay more attention to the film itself, which is almost never a good thing in MST3k. On the other hand, there are several great one-liners, and some truly painful puns. One of my favorite gags from this episode was Joel getting so fed up that he stands up and starts wandering around the theater, making bored "hurry up" motions at the screen. Little jokes like that ultimately make this movie endurable. The DVD also includes the uncut, original version of the film, but there's no reason that you should have to subject yourself to that. Come on, you don't deserve that.
Rating:
Summary: Too many 'Hand' Puns...
Review: Overly thematic on the jokes, not enough pop-culture references as in later MST3K years... Just not as enjoyable as the other's I've seen. But you may want to get it just to see what MST3K was like in it's first season.
Rating:
Summary: The Sound Of One Hand Clasping...
Review: Peter Breck (Big Valley) plays a very intense scientist with the space program. How intense? So intense that I expected his head to sail off at any minute! You see, one of his astronauts (named Lockhart) has gone nuts, pleading with ground control to "push the red button" and blow up his ship. They comply, detonating Lockhart. Meanwhile, a young med student and his girl go swimmig on a california beach. Low and behold, they find a severed arm in an astronaut uniform sleeve! Paul (the med student) comes back for it later, taking it home in a shower curtain. He hides it behind some preserves in his landlady's pantry. The arm starts creeping around, knocking some jars over, waking the landlady, who must investigate. Of course, she gets choked bug-eyed! Unfortunately, the hand doesn't do much else, as it possesses Paul and uses him to cause further mayhem. Enter Alan Hale jr. as the portly sheriff. The rest is pretty dull. Watch it late at night and don't feel too bad if you fall asleep...
Rating:
Summary: Excellent B-movie cheese
Review: Spaceman possessed in space by some evil force. At his bidding, his friends on the ground blowup the ship on re-entry. His hand/arm lives (still evil) and some cheeseball guy and his girlfriend find it on the beach. Guy becomes controlled by the hand that can't stop killing. Excellent BAD acting, some great lines, lots of fun.
Rating:
Summary: Minimal DVD; surprisingly watchable low-budget chiller
Review: The Crawling Hand was producer Joseph F. Robertson's second feature, after The Slime People, and while lacking the latter's gnarly rubber-suited monsters, is actually the more satisfying movie. For starters its got a far more interesting and eclectic cast, including 1930s leading men Richard Arlen (Island of Lost Souls) and Kent Taylor (The Gracie Allen Murder Case), Alan Hale Jr. (Gilligan's Skipper), 50s bombshell Allison Hayes (Attack of the 50 Foot Woman), Peter Breck (Shock Corridor), serial veteran Tristram Coffin (King of the Rocket Men), whitebread TV regular Ross Elliott (Dick Van Dyke Show, etc.), and keen teens Rod Lauren (Terrified, The Black Zoo) and "stacked" Swedish would-be starlet Sirry Steffen (she played a maid on The Beverly Hillbillies a few times). This was also the last film for Arline Judge (she'd appeared before with Taylor in College Scandal in 1935). It should be no problem tying Kevin Bacon in with this lot. Herbert L. Strock (Teenage Frankenstein, How to Make a Monster) directed and co-scripted with William Idelson (the same Bill Idelson who played Sally's boyfriend Herman Glimsher on Dick Van Dyke!). The plot (Lauren is possessed by the dismembered arm of a dead astronaut) is fairly original, not to say believable, and the usually uninspired Strock actually works in a few moments of clever visual humor (pay attention), not to mention at least one jarring visual non sequitur-check the scene of Ms. Steffen and Beverly Lunsford (The Secret Storm) in the malt shop, accidentally (?) posed in perfect symmetry in shot-reverse shot. The acting varies from competent (the veterans) to pretty awful (the teens), although Rod Lauren does manage a few moments of genuine pathos (I think he was trying for James Dean, but he looks more like Eddie Munster's teenage brother, especially in "possessed" mode). As far as the hand itself, I think they should have stuck with the mechanical one; the inserts of the makeup-encrusted human hand are both cheesier and more laughably obvious than the shots of the fake one. This flick is also famous for featuring the Rivingtons' Papa Oom Mow Mow, heard on the soundtrack during the assault on the janitor, and should be infamous for somehow turning the normally stunning Ms. Hayes (see Corman's The Undead) into a pasty-looking frump in a really ugly dress (and wasting her in a bit part to boot!) While no classic, The Crawling Hand is consistently amusing and never boring, which is more than you can say about lots of these cheapies. (Joseph F. Robertson went on to direct and co-write Ed Wood's softcore The Love Feast, and directed a dozen or so pornos in the '80s and '90s [Debbie Does Dallas 3, The Long Ranger] under the pseudonym Adele Robbins.)
Like other Rhino/Acme DVD releases, this one defines "bare bones." Twelve chapter stops are the only "extra," there's not even a trailer in sight. Fortunately the source print is generally of excellent quality. There is the usual light speckling and blemishing throughout, but otherwise virtually no other visible damage. The contrast, sharpness, and detail are fine overall, though the print seems a little bit dark in the gray tones (my Video Gems VHS pre-record has a similar murky look). Photoshop users will wish they could just open the Curves dialog and drop the midtone about 10 to 12%, but the DVD transfer still blows the VHS away in every category. If you're already a fan of this film you really can't miss at the price.
Rating:
Summary: Skip-per!
Review: The only reason why this is one of my favorites is because its so old. Plain and simple. It's great for the fan who just recently started to get into the show, and wants to know what it looked like "back then".
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