Rating: 
Summary: Joel and the Robots crack me up!
Review: Thank god for MST3K! How else could anyone sit through the monstrosity that is Manos: The Hands of Fate? The movie is poorly dubbed over using only four voices, and as the robots point out, the camera often dissolves to the same scene. But the wisecracks and remarks from Joel, Servo, and Crow caused me to to laugh nonstop throughout the movie. You'll also enjoy the short entitled "Hired: Part II." Can you believe that somebody actually had to sit down and watch Manos before it could be presented in MST3K form? Oh, the humanity!
Rating: 
Summary: "You know, there are certain flaws in this film..."
Review: One of the worst movies ever, and my favorite episode! Even the producers of the show didn't think they could manage to do this movie, but they pulled it off in fine form. Accompanied by a soundtrack of cats on pianos, the listless cast stumbles through this film in consistent teeth-pulling fashion. The acting is painfully executed, the film quality looks, in Joel's words, like "someone's last known photograph", and the plot... well... I don't really know if there is a plot, but there is a scene involving scantily clad women duking it out over killing people. That's quality viewing. The running commentary by Joel and the bots is hilarious, however, and the movie is worth watching simply for the witty repartee. Small wonder that two of the cast members committed suicide less than a year after filming this atrocity.
Rating: 
Summary: I want to cry, cry like a little girl.
Review: This movie...is like a plane crashing into a train wreck with orphans,nuns, the elderly, and several priceless artifacts on both. The crew of the SOL try to brighten it up, but it's like combining the Grinch, Hitler, and Charlie Manson into one and telling it to 'Let goodness into your heart.' Stay away, stay far, far away. The only thing that can make this movie worse is Ernest Borgnine and Joe Don Baker!
Rating: 
Summary: For the love of God, spare yourself!
Review: I love MST3K. They are the funniest thing ever to hit TV (with the possible exeption of Monty Python). That said, Manos was just too terrible for them to save. This was pain. This was dullness brought to a new level. The only ray of light was the bit where Joel and the bots talk about whether Torgo (of the large knees) is a monster or not, and Tom ends up saying if he could have one body part enlarged, he would have one giant pinky he would drag behind him. I think the crew were so aghast at the sheer awfulness of this movie they were rendered nearly speechless. Spare yourself, watch Creeping Terror instead.
Rating:
Summary: Now THIS is my top MST3k now!
Review: Yes, this defeats the Pod People by far. The storyline: a family driving through (where?) some area, comes to an inn, that is run by a stuttering bow legged guy, and a guy with a robe that has red hands on it. This is supposed to be scary? Some pointless things in the movie: the constant driving, the poodle getting killed, the women fighting in dirt, and the couple making out. None of these were relevant to the film. Also, on a note, it was all filmed in El Paso, Tx. Some riffs to watch for:"Time to step out hunny!" "That's silly, you never had a poodle" "Look hun, it's Torgo's altar to Baal!" "They're rolfing him to death!" and the best: "when carnies flirt!" END
Rating:
Summary: Manos: The Hands of Pain
Review: Don't get me wrong, I love MST3K, but watching Manos was one of the longest hours in my life. Even though the robots are great, as always, the movie overall is just plain sad, even Dr. Forrester apologized for making them watch such a horrible flick. So, if you are into masochism, be my guest, or if you really want to piss someone off, go with this...otherwise, steer clear.
Rating:
Summary: Manos: Hands of Pain
Review: Manos: Hands of Fate is potentially the worst film ever put to celluloid. That said, it is a true MST3K classic and a must have for the die hard fan. Dr. Forrester is not kinding when he describes this film as "deep hurting". However, Joel and the bot's somehow pull through this one, keeping the audience from taking their own lives from the sheer torture of this movie. I have had big knee nightmeres ever since. I highly recommend this film to any and all MST3K fans, and I know you will all support the newest presidential nominee..........TORGO 2000!
Rating:
Summary: I want you to stop this nonsense about a dog . . .
Review: I've always found "Monster A-Go-Go" to be a worse movie than "Manos" (this one has a plot -- the barest sliver of a plot, but its existence can be discerned after repeated viewings), but this is still a silver-rimmed stinker. Three voices dubbing all the actors, endlessly repeated cinematography, and the bizarre fusion jazz/fourth-grade flute soundtrack make up one horrible experience for our boys. But they come out with flying colors. "Hired, Part II" is also one of the funniest shorts ever -- even if the commentary on the movie was slack, the short would be worth the purchase. Bad movies always bring out the best in our fearless riffers. Fun (um, sort of) facts: The actor playing Torgo committed suicide a year after this movie was made; the fertilizer salesman who made the film expected it to be huge, and later apologized when he realized it wouldn't be. And those three voices . . . yeesh . . .
Rating:
Summary: Bad Movie, Great Episode!
Review: The riffs were terrific in this episode! This has Joel and the 'Bots at their very best! This is one of my favorite episodes! All the host segments were weak though. The first is probabley the weakest (mostly because the footage on the blue sceen was going backwards). I'll admit this movie was extreamly bad, but I'd rather watch the unMSTed version of this than Armageddon. The ending was a keeper though. Maybe if the people who made this got a new cast, changed the script alot (but keep the ending), and get rid of the cops and kissing teenagers, that had nothing to do with the story, then you would have one hell of a movie! Favorite Riff-Joel: Okay, everybody pick out someone you want to punch!
Rating:
Summary: Next on ESPN: FULL-CONTACT NIGHTGOWN WRESTLING!
Review: There's something almost endearing about this film--it's the sort of thing your movie-nut kid brother might turn out with a video camera and some friends in the neighborhood. In fact, the movie nut here was a middle-aged fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas, and the rest of cast looks as if their high-school days had passed as well, but they bring the same sort of clunky enthusiasm to the project. The non-plot concerns some lost travellers, a stumbling satyr named Torgo, a lot of women in sheer nighties, and The Master, a terribly-intense fellow clad in what looks like one of Shelly Winter's castoff muu-muu's. Along the way, an annoying poodle gets offed, Torgo makes an arthritic pass at the heroine, who screams a lot, and the nightie brigade spend a lot of time rolling around in the dirt and slapping each other. Oh, and there's a lot of driving footage. A lot. And Harold wears a very nice golf sweater . . .
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