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Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood

Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Beautiful and Fun
Review: For those of you who have not seen this movie before, this is at least worth renting. Angie Everheart is the most beautiful vampire to ever hit the screen. She is very powerful and seductive at the same time. If you are a Dennis Miller fan then this movie is a must see, it reaks of his sarcasm and wit. This is one of those movies that you don't have to wonder if they are following the traditional vampire theme or not. It has beautiful women, a little gore, and a whole lot of humor.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood
Review: Here's the second movie from Tales from the Crypt.It starts off with Vincent finding Lilith,the Madame from Hell and the Mother of All Vampires crypt.Vincent puts her heart in,and she comes to life.Then it goes to the Crypt Keeper and he starts to spin his yarn.Kathire's brother disapears at a horhouse,wich is run nonother by Vincent and Lilith.She hires a detective who goes to the horhouse,by a firey coffin.He meets with Lilith's newest vampire and puts her on a tortue device,clumsy enough leave his wallet.But Lilith finds him and tries to turn him into a vampire by telling him to come here.But he escapes and finds Kathrine's brother's ring.Then they get a call from Kathrine's brother,telling them to meet him in the power plant.Then Rafe jumps out the window and gets in the hospital.There he meets his old vampire friend from the bordello.He slams her against the wall and her gown rips and the sun hits her.Then he goes to the bodello and is met by JC,Katherine's boss.He filled a supersoaker with holywater.He uses the last of it on Katherine's brother.Then he tries to kill Lilith with a huge ax,but she justs put her arm back.He gets Katherine and goes to her work.
He cuts a cross in Lilith's heart.After she's dead,Rafe coments Katherine on her perfume just before she sinks her fangs in his throat.

Rated R for Launge,Violence,and Nudity

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Awful and predictable...:(
Review: I am a big fan of the "Tales from the Crypt" series. I've watched every single episode and I also loved Demon Knight. But when I rented Bordello of Blood from Blockbuster and watched the tape from beginning to end, I was absolutely turned off. In fact, I am angry that many fans on this site even think of giving Bordello 5 stars!
Bordello is one of the most disgusting films I ever watched;
it isn't even a horror movie!
There is so much nudity and sexist behavior that the resulting film looked like it came right out of the Playboy Channel. What's worse is that Dennis Miller, who portrayed the perverse detective Rafe Guttman, mumbles nearly throughout the film; his wise-cracks are just unfunny. Chris Sarandon wasn't any better as Reverend Jimmy Current; he's just an exaggereated cariacature of any phony televangelist. Angie Everheart, who played Lilith the Mother of All Vampires, is the most pathetic actress of all. Her seductions over men and her liking of strippers is downright insulting to all female fans. Finally, if that's not bad enough, the Crypt-Keeper skit that opens the movie is NOT original, but rather a recycled version of a similar skit done in a 1996 episode called
"The Assasin," which Corey Feldman happened to appear in. All in all, this movie is not worth a cent buying! Buy Demon Knight instead or, even better, pray that the 3rd Tales from the Crypt film opens this Halloween.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Dennis Miller is Loony
Review: I enjoyed this one star soon to be cult classic immensely. I sat up a took notice each time Miss Everhart came into the room.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Come to this bordello and get wicked !
Review: I hate all kinds of critics,especially movie critics(amateur and professional ones).They are really frustrated people as well as party-poopers!Don't pay attention to the bad reviews you may come across here.This movie is one of the best horror flicks I've ever seen.There's comedy/black humor,blood,guts,great special effects and great acting - all in one helluva story.The plot: After 10 long years a Tomb Raider finds Lilith-he mother of all vampires.He knows that he who resurrects Lilith can control her.Of course all he wants is money,prestige and power.The brothel is just a cover-up for underhanded schemes to get what he desires,and for Lilith to get what she needs : blood.Now, if you want further info watch this.I've never been to a brothel in my life,but I'm sure it's not as fun as this film is !

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The funniest Tales from the Crypt ever
Review: I just watched this movie two days ago and I had to come online to tell everyone what a good movie it was, miller was very funny and he did a good job at making me laugh, this is the best Tales from the crypt I have ever seen, its twice as good as the last movie, I would recommned anyone buy this movie

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Underrated brilliance
Review: I never understood why so many people hate this movie. Even Fangoria called it 'abysmal'. But I consider it a worthy follow-up to the delicious Demon Knight. It has brilliant acting: Dennis Miller is a treat as smartass private eye. Angie Everhart is not only the hottest female vampire in years, no, she even proves that she can actually act. Corey Feldman has one of his very few good roles. But who really chews the scenery is Chris Sarandon (Fright Night), one of the most underrated actors ever: His performance as a TV preacher alone makes this movie worth watching. Only Erika Eleniak is rather miscast. And watch out for Demon Knight veteran William Sadler (another underestimated actor) as mummy. The make-up F/X are not only unbelievably gory for an R-rated movie; they're so excellent they even surprise genre buffs who thought they've seen it all. The characters are wonderfully weird, and although there's loads of black humour in it, I'm glad Bordello of Blood never turns in a fun-splatter movie and still provides some chills. Even if you heard it's awful: Give it a try! It's more than just another vampire movie and has more imaginery than all those new teen horror films that Scream spawned together. I just hope there'll be a final part to the Tales from the Crypt full-length-feature trilogy.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: dissapointing follow up...
Review: I really enjoyed Demon Knight, so I was pretty excited when this came out.However it is basically a big dissapointment.I thought they stopped making movies like this after Fright Night came out in the 80s.Dennis Miller is extremely annoying throughout, and its a shame that they stooped to nudity to get people to go see it.Go see Fright Night or From Dusk Til Dawn,and forget about Bordello of Boredom.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Garbage
Review: I'm a real fan of Tales From the Crypt. I've seen the majority of the episodes and all 3 of the movies (yes, there's a third one, that was broken into parts and syndicated as episodes of the show). The series prided itself in being horrifying and having great twist endings. This movie was nothing like that at all. It was almost a parody of horror movies, but that wasn't the intention at all. Even Dennis Miller, my favorite comedian, couldn't hold the humor together... and still disowns it to this day! I can't think of a single reason that anyone would want to see this movie.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A Dennis Miller Classic
Review: I'm not much of a fan of the Crypt Keeper series, although it is fairly risible at times. What makes this film great is Dennis Miller. Smarming his way to your hearts, he cracks wise with aplomb. He zings more one-liners than there are beer caps at a frat party. The key here is that the director let Dennis "be himself"--and that's why this one is worth buying.


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