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Planet of the Apes (Single Disc Edition)

Planet of the Apes (Single Disc Edition)

List Price: $14.98
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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: What a stupid, stupid movie
Review: I am not a fan of the original "Apes" films, but even I have to admit that they are much better than this horrible "update".
I can't even bring myself to flesh this review out much, but I can point out two things that really irked me: that ridiculous deaux et machina of a climax (I mean, come on-the only point of drama in the whole film-the battle scene-ends like that? It's like something a child would have come up with when they've run out of ideas) and an ending which is indescribably bad.
This film was an insult to my intelligence.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Really good!!
Review: Like all of Tim Burton's movies, this is one more masterpiece of his inspiration and certainly one of the best movies the last years! It uses the special effects technology really efficiently and especially the special features DVD gives you the whole concept and makes you realise how the motion picture industry has evolved and what its potential now is. Almost everything in real life can be represented in films and this is one characteristic example...A very interesting movie!!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Good, not great....
Review: Overall I enjoyed it, but to say that it was "great"? would be a stretch. The special effects were great and the sets were amazing (but then again all of Tim Burtons are). The plot was predictable to say the least and the ending is STUPID!!![...]
Mark Wahlberg does look all good though ;)

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A new movie that should be called the next generation
Review: This is a movie very different than the original. First, all the humans could speak. Second, there is no scientific experiments on human as was in the original. Third, the apes acted like apes rather than semi-humans.

Mark Wahlberg was not another Charlton Heston. He was much more clever and scientific. While Charlton Heston's character had a love interest, Mark Wahlberg had a human and a ape interested in him.

The ending of the movie say there will be a sequel. It will be interesting to see it.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: "Planet of the Apes" 2000
Review: Tim Burton had a thought. A reimagining of the 1968 classic "Planet of the Apes," Burton would use the same concept and put a different twist on things. Major Leo Davidson (Mark Wahlberg) has to recapture a lost monkey pilot who was testing out a space pod, but unfortunately, he got sucked into a time funnel. While traveling into the distant future and crash landing on a planet ruled by apes, Davidson had to fight authority. He gathered a group of humans to rebel against the mean General Thade (Tim Roth) and regain equality. An ape with the name Ari (Helena Bonham Carter) believed the humans were being mistreated and helped them fight. The battle sequence that involved Davidson's spaceship blasting the apes away was forever genius. I have never laughed so hard seeing monkeys fly. Even Donkey Kong would've thought that was funny. Silly monkeys! Even though this movie doesn't surpass the original, it's still worth a look.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Good Special Effects. Terible Acting.
Review: It is a joke to watch the extra DVD material on how "experts" came in to teach the actors how to act like apes. They should have been taught how to act first. And ironically the absolute worst besides Marky Mark is Tim Roth, the Director of this mess. This could have been a really scarey film with some of the great effects in here. But they manage to ruin it with too much corny dialogue that apparently Tim Roth thought would be clever and amusing. Instead it comes across as being predictable and stupid. Noone is going to be scared by an orangatang slave catcher who looks and sounds like a nice Jewish produce clerk from Brooklyn. And the final ending makes no discernable sense from the context of this film either. Someone revoke the use of the title from these clowns before they try and "retell" and ruin anymore Planet of the Apes" classics.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: It was all over after "Scissorhands."
Review: Tim Burton is a master of visual storytelling who, in HIS OWN WORDS (from an episode of the IFC TV series "The Directors"), couldn't tell a good script from a bad script if it fell on him (I'm paraphrasing here, but the message was the same). However, early in his career, he was partners with producer Denise DiNovi, who COULD spot good material. As a result, he made the stunning, quality motion pictures "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure," "Beetlejuice," "Batman," "Edward Scissorhands," and "Batman Returns." Then, after a falling out, DiNovi split and he made the visually stunning, awful films "Ed Wood" (yeah, I know many people will disagree with that but, personally I though it was pretty crummy apart from Martin Landau and Johnny Depp's performances... maybe one could call that title "okay" to "pretty good"), "Mars Attacks," "Sleepy Hollow," and this waste of time. I won't even include "Nightmare Before Christmas" because that was a Henry Selick film which Burton was not even involved with during production (even though Burton gets all the credit for it). What a waste of talent. He needs to find someone to fill DiNovi's shoes because all of these films' paper-thin scripts sink his still-impressive visuals. Great to look at but empty.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Bad. Really really bad.
Review: This movie isn't worth the time to even bother writing a detailed review. I had to turn it off after the first 45 minutes because I couldn't take it anymore. No redeeming qualities to mention. Just stupid. I'm really disapointed because I usually like Tim Burton movies and think Mark Wahlberg has been good as well.

Bottom line - you've already wasted enough of your time reading this review. Don't waste anymore by watching the movie.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: More than a remake
Review: To understand every nuance of Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes," you should have some knowledge of the series. Specifically, you should be familiar with Charleton Heston's famous line, which is used with a twist in this movie. You won't miss anything if you aren't, but you won't get everything.

In movies today, we expect as much realism as possible. Given that this is science fiction, we do make some allowances. If all the apes don't have the mannerisms of apes, we won't necessarily hold it against the movie. Here, however, I think I do. The problem is that Tim Roth does such a great job as General Thale that you find yourself believing that he is an ape. Conversely, Helena Bonham Carter is merely an actress is makeup. She does act like an ape. If all or none of the actors adopted the mannerisms, I would have been fine. It should not be done in part.

In the old series and movie, we accelerate to the distant future to find that apes rule the world. Here, the same happens, but it is not to rise up against being enslaved, but violence brought on by the planet somehow. This loses some of the original movie's effect. There is the sense of the inevitable, but this doesn't seem to click for me.

This is a good science fiction movie for the average viewer, but fans of the old series may be a bit disappointed.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Suspension of Disbelief
Review: I've always had one problem with movies like this....

Everybody's speaking English! Would not any astronaut with half a brain question the fact that all of these people and apes on this distant planet are talking to him in American English?

At least in Star Trek they explain it away with the "Universal Translator".

Other than that, it's a good popcorn-action flick!


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