Rating: 
Summary: Friends don't let friends watch this garbage.
Review: This has to be the most hideously bad movie I ever endured. The group with which I attended the showing discussed swearing everyone to secrecy and pretending that we had spent the entire time at Denny's or something, but we decided it was our civic duty to tell everyone how awful the experience was, and warn them away.
Rating: 
Summary: A films that nearly drowns.
Review: Tim Burton's reenvision of the '68 cult classic is nicely done, in one state of mind, that is. What can I say? I was impressed throughout the trip in certain perspectives. It has incredible visuals, awesome make-up and costumes, eccentric and dignified plot to keep it going, and so-so performances that make it work. Mark Wahlberg isn't my first choice, but oh well. I realize I'm not reviewing this movie as a critical viewer would be reviewing this film, but I can't justify this picture anymore than I have. It has some new twists, it has brief humor, it packs adventure, it strives for that emotional feel, and that shocking tingle witnessing the amidst and vulagarious apes. I can describe it simple, or textured. Personally, the film isn't serious enough to be reviewed seriously and critically. Fun is this film, but jagged and simple this film is. It feels creative, and it has a powerful image. But what it doesn't have is the poise and posture you're looking for. Sleepy Hollow was original because it was in context of historical thrillers, and had the feel of a Hitchcock classic. Batman was striking because it rocked the screen and had an artistic and creative, dark and gloomy feel to it. It packed action, adventure, and brilliant actors. Edward Scissorhands had audiences in awe with its emotional value, however goofy and obscure it was. This film is just "adventure", a remake/reenvision. It is new, it is bold, it is fun, it has adventure, but it isn't a heroic film that saves other films and rises above the average action film. "Talking monkeys can't exist." This is an astronaut/scientist talking. Wouldn't he say something a little more crisp and sustained? The line is simple and plain, just like most of the dialogue. It works, and it goes on to a "Mummy Returns" battle, but it just isn't Tim Burton. Burton goes beyond the reaches of the mind and pulls his audiences into a new world. This film doesn't capture any dramatic aspect. It says- THE APES RULE. HUMANS DON'T. LET'S FIGHT. I wanted something more. To top it off, the film's ending is good, but sadly terrible at the same time. It is more bad than good (in plain english). I liked the idea of it, but it is inexplainable, and it makes absolutely no sense with the film. I wanted to understand why. This film can't have a sequel; it is just one of those films that doesn't go on. I do not use a "3" star rating when reviewing movies on this site, because it is a good-bad combination that is really wishy-washy, as if you can't make up your mind whether it's good or bad. I didn't like this film for the most part even though it was fun. It just isn't what you want it to be. It is just a floater, nothing that spurs from the water. So I'll go ahead and give it two stars. I could watch it again, but I wish the filmmakers would've went for another Burton classic, rather than a new millenium whiplash adventurer that only has "average" to fall back on. QUOTE: "However creative this film may be, it is not a sincere masterpiece. It completely overlooks the point of a Tim Burton film. Everything is average and simple, topped off with a very questionable and ruining ending. It was fun, it was adventrous, and it was briefly thought-provoking, but it didn't go anywhere above the new millenium adventure film that looks at "average". I was entertained, and I was visually impressed with the movie, but it isn't something Burton should've attacked. James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger had originally planned a duo for the project, but pulled out. I would've rather seen their vision of the film because this movie is just a "movie". And worst of all for Burton's sake, a "popcorn flick". Overall, not recommendable... ... and sincerely, ethically understated for Tim."
Rating:
Summary: terrible
Review: I would sooner set my money on fire than spend it on this wretched excuse for a film.
Rating:
Summary: Michael Jackson in an ape suit?
Review: As we knew from the beginning, two astronauts years in the future find themselves back on an earth that bears absolutely no resemblance to the one they left behind. But that's about all the similarity you'll find between the 2001 version and the one we saw thirty years ago. Burton uses his macabre genius to put a bit of a twist on the old story. We're a more demanding movie audience now more than ever as technology and technique has improved in Hollywood to give us movie entertainment that is more impressive and imaginative each and every year. I dare say that this story and presentation would have knocked our socks off three decades past, but now seems par for the course. We've been spoiled! The movie was vaguely entertaining; with a few bits of comic relief included, but the part that kept us all chuckling was the uncanny resemblance of one ape in a yellow suit to that of the King of Pop! Wait for the made-for-television version, dear viewer.
Rating:
Summary: it sucks
Review: It is an atrocity that this laughably bad movie, received the hype which it did. This is the worst movie I've seen in quite some time. The acting goes from wooden to over the top awful. Their is not even that much action, for a movie that is hyped up to be action-packed.
Rating: 
Summary: Pretty much what I expected...
Review: I didn't plan on great acting, plot, or dialogue- and on all three counts I got what I expected. But Tim Burton is a solid director, and the whole thing came together pretty well, even if he couldn't say "no" to some of his usual corniness.
There was plenty of action. But what really made Planet of the Apes worth seeing was (as I'm sure you guessed), the setting, costumes and special effects- Tim's trademark, and some of his best. My only gripe about the apes would be the jumping... a tad too much. It almost looked like "Monkey Matrix".
As far as acting goes, the general opinion has been that the apes were better than the humans. I thought they were all merely decent, with the exception of Tim Roth who was excellent as usual, and Mark Wahlberg who looked perfect for his part... but shouldn't be allowed to talk. They really could have cast a more believable lead than Mark.
Speaking of leads, it was nice to see Charlton Heston make an appearance, but they should have left out his "Damn them all to hell" line. I hate when cameos go silly like that. Also silly, was the "surprise" ending. I'm not going to give it away, but you'll see it coming for miles. Pretty dumb, but I guess it gives them their sequel.
All in all, this movie makes a decent legacy for the 1968 original. I'd say I liked them both about the same. Sure the humans can now talk, and the original message has been altered, but they needed to spice up the series for a new generation. Not a bad job!
Rating: 
Summary: It's no remake
Review: I enjoyed this film. I'm glad Tim Burton did a re-imagination instead of a remmake or sequal, but he could have paid more respect to the characters than he did. Rick Bakker's makeup is extraordinary! Captian Leo Davidson (Mark Wahlenberg) crashlands on a strange planet where apes are the dominant spieces. General Thade (Tim Roth) an evil Chimpanzee and family are in charge. Davidson is befriended by Ari (Helen Abon Carter) a female Chimpanzee supporting human rights. Helped by the gorilla general Krull (Cary Tagawa) and a tribe of humans, The two escape to Calima, the forbidden zone. Thade and General Attar (Michael Clark Duncan) chase after them to destroy Davidson. This film is great, and even has Charlton Heston playing a brief role as Thade's father.
Rating:
Summary: confusing but entertaining film
Review: To start off, let me say that I have never completely seen the original Planet of the Apes, so I don't know how the original storyline and plot went. Let me tell you, though, this one, I thought, was pretty confusing.
Mark Wahlberg plays astronaut Leo Anderson, obviously the main character of the film. After sending a monkey into a time warp thingie in space, he puts it on himself to go after him, and thats when things get a little crazy. Anderson lands on a planet where apes rule and humans are enslaved, and as the movie leads up to its shocking conclusion, plot twists and surprises are discovered that make you wonder "but didn't this happen before that?" and other unanswered questions. The ending, though very unexpected, leaves you slightly dissapointed and wanting more explanations.
The plot, though it could of been better, is what leads you to watch the whole film. As the suspense builds, it makes you anxious to know the answers to all of your questions. And though it doesn't answer all of them, its still overall written pretty well. Tim Roth really nails his part of Thade, the don't take (...) ape general who is bent on destroying the human race. Plus, with all of its extra features, this 2 disc DVD is well worth your money.
Rating:
Summary: Too awful for words
Review: I have to say that this is one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. The best thing about it was the music playing as the credits rolled!
Rating:
Summary: Waste of plastic.
Review: This movie is a waste of plastic. Timothy Burton thinks he's Shyamalan or ROd Serling, but he is not. The ending didn't have a twist, but was twisted. Stick with the original ones.
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