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Planet of the Apes

Planet of the Apes

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The biggest disappointment
Review: I couldn't believe how lousy this movie was. First off, Tim Burton is known for stunning visuals and great scenery and stuff like that. Outside of the apes, their houses were pretty boring, the forest was flat, and the desert, well it went as far as most deserts go visually. The story was pathetic, Mark Walhberg was given nothing to do as an actor, he just sat there and every couple of minutes spewed out some corny line. Even the so-called surprise ending was pretty lame, you think that it doesn't make sense or you don't understand it, but in reality it's just a lot simpler ending than you think you are going to get. Don't waste your money, I would rather sit through AI, some people said it was too long but I thought it was great.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Surprisingly Good (not great, but good)
Review: OK, first things first.... I went to this movie with a couple of big chips on my shoulder. First was the fact that I *loved* the original. Sure, it's got its cheesy side, but it's a classic and a great movie nonetheless. Second was the fact that in this remake, I had learned from previews, all humans can talk. (In the original, humans are mute... and I think that's key to the whole point of the movie-- that it's only when we speak, and listen, to each other that we recognize our common "humanity", as it were). Third was the fact that, as a general rule, I find remakes are usually bad-- this is an irrational prejudice, I know, but it's how I feel... and that means that this movie *really* had an uphill climb to get me to like it.

Well, having seen it, I must admit that that it made that climb quite well. Much to my surprise and delight, I cast aside all of my prejudices against the movie just a few minutes into it, and enjoyed the wild and playful romp throughout-- at least up until the rather poor ending (more on that late).

So, what was good about this? Well, it wasn't the dialogue or the acting, that's for sure-- but then again, the original wasn't so great in that departmentment either. What made this movie work so well as the degree to which Burton was able to create such a stunningly vivid visual world-- how we move from the sterile, white, mechanical environment of the space ship in the opening sequence, to the lush marshlike environment of the landing site, to the dry barren wastlands of the Forbidden Zone. The same is true of characters and costumes-- at least among the apes (really good make-up & costumes there!) To a large degree, I was reminded of the style and feel of the various Star Wars film in terms of the art direction. I also appreciated the playful 'turning around' of a lot of famous quotations from the first film: Instead of "Take your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty ape", uttered by Charlton Heston, we have a gorilla say, "Take your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty human." Also, there's the great fun of watching Heston, doing a cameo as an ape (as General Thane's dying father specifically), say, "Damn them all, damn them all to hell" in a different context. There were a host of other playful references as well, ranging from the impossible martial-arts style leaps of the apes (a la "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon")to the comic references of the merchant character, who, at one point quotes Rodney King's "Can't we all just get along?" (although I think the use of that is somewhat heavy-handed in terms of serving as a reminder that this movie really is an allegory of racism and ethnic hatred, more than anything else).

There were, however, many things, I disliked about this movie. One of these was Estella Warren, who is stunningly beautiful as a woman, but hopeless as an actress. The fact that she said so few lines and had little/no meaningful role in the plot means that she was just included as eye candy for undersexed male viewers. (Interstingly, my fiancee appreciated Warren's role a bit more, seeing it as a reminder of the mute blonde woman who played such a major role in the original version of the film... but I'm unconvinced).

The worst part of this movie though, was the ending. And no, I'm not talking about the 'surprise ending' that takes up the last 2-3 minutes. That was OK. (Even though it really seems to be just a setup for a sequel, I appreciated it as a parallel to the surprise ending of the first movie). I'm talking about pretty much everything from-- well, I don't want to give anything away to folks who haven't seen the movie-- so I'll just say, "from the moment the big battle is interrupted" to the point where Marky Mark (er, I mean Mark Wahlberg) departs the planet. It's just too silly, too cloying, too Hollywood...

All in all, this was a fun movie-- probably to be appreciated more by folks who have seen the original than by those unfamiliar with it. It wasn't a great movie though-- just pretty good. In any case, it's certainly much better than any of the other big summer "blockbusters" that came out this year, like "Pearl Harbor", "Jurrasic Park III", etc.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: There are good moives...and then there is Planet of The Apes
Review: I was very excited to see this movie. But, I am glad I only wasted 7 dollars. First, the special effects weren't that great. I mean when they jumped adn Marky Mark jumped and got thrown. They looked very bad. Second, Predictablility. I mean, practicly the whole theature guessed the end and near the end. (IT is hard not to give away anything. OK and Third, i am going to have to give away the end kinda, so if you dont' wanna read it, don't. When Marky Mark was escapeing from the ape planet, the clock on his ship went backwards. And he landed on earth in like 2012. The monkeys were more advanced on earth, more advanced than the ones on the ape planet. He was on earth during 2012. What the heck! so if you understood, you feel how i feel. Some movies that are bad you can laugh at. This one, leaves you mad. O well. So due to bad special effects, predictability, and not making sense even in a sci fi...1 start...thanks.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Ending ruined the whole thing
Review: I don't remember much of the first Planet of The Apes movie, but this one wasn't bad, until you hit the ending. The ending pretty much ruined the whole movie for me, which is why I'd give it 3 stars, not four.

The makeup in the movie was spectacular; I'm still in awe of the amazing jobs they did. The actors looked like apes of all kinds, and they moved like them as well, it wasn't like a person in an ape suit; it was so much more fluid. The humans didn't have makeup, and their costumes weren't great (where'd they get the glitter bits?), but they weren't bad.

One of my complaints was that they didn't develop the characters at all, or even the plotline. There's a short amount of how the apes came into being and dominated over the humans, but that's it. There's no development of the blond woman or her family, or even the apes. The blond woman's name is mentioned no more than a few times, you know nothing about the relationship with her family, and all you know about the apes is that the ape woman in love with Leo is the daughter of a senator. You find out a few other tidbits of information, but there isn't any background, or even much of a plot involving a background.

The ending has to be the worst part of the movie, it almost ruined the whole movie for me. Talk about leaving it open to a sequel, they could have cut it off 5 minutes before and not cheapened it.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Half and half: excellent make-up, fair acting, poor script
Review: As a friend of mine said: "don't expect the classical Tim Burton type of movie!" if you go to see "Planet of the Apes." It is far more along the lines of the late 60s-70s TV series, than it resembles the style of Burton movies such as Beetlejuice, Batman, Edward Scissorhands or Sleepy Hollow.

The acting is nothing too impressing: former athlete and beautiful model Estella Warren barely opens her mouth (some argue she doesn't really need to, but I think it'd help!), Helena Bonham Carter (previously best known for her great role in "Fight Club") doesn't really let too much out; and Mark Wahlberg (who has appeared previously in 'Boogie Nights' and "The Perfect Storm") and Tim Roth (Pulp Fiction's 'Pumpkin' and the star of "The Legend of 1900") will continue to have to wait for their big shot.

The plot is also very weak: very predictable and with an ending that hollers: "part II coming soon!"

On the positive side, the make-up, in days where most of this former art work is left to computers, is really outstanding.

Also, on the good side, there is the inevitable reflection about animal cruelty put in perspective, i.e. what if animals where the 'masters' but then, this reflection is more attributable to the original book and series, than to this Tim Burton feature.

Go to see it, though: it's not the type of movie that will make you leave the theater or anything like that. Among the fair acting and the poor script it's still entertaining and has several funny moments, as a result of putting the apes 'in power.'

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Pretty Darn Apeing Good!
Review: I would say Tim Burton did his job. Instead of a sequel or just and ordinary remake, he made it in to a whole new world. This apeing good fun could make the furr fly. The makeup, the special affects, the Mark Walhnerg, makes it all worth wild. This I would say was one of the top 10 best films to see this summer. So lets just leave it at "Rule the Planet"

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: NO APE atite
Review: Fantastic makeup and great action .. story line ... with the audience laughing at it. A little more effort could have been given to the story itself and leave out the stupid ideas. Oh yeah, without those stupid ideas, they would not have had a movie.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Not bad
Review: I liked the apes. Not so much the humans. Mark Whatshisname seemed detatched. Not much emotion from him. The sky could have been falling and he would have just watched it come down on his head without letting you know how he felt about it.

But, like I say, I loved the apes. They made this film

Two opposable thumbs up!!!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Sigh.............
Review: ... I'll repeat what others have said, in part. These characters didn't have any character! Who were they? The film was illogical, passionless and totally without depth. I didn't care who survived & who didn't. And I'm glad the critics seem to agree. What a sad, sad remake of a good, good movie.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Bad Flix
Review: I consider Tim Burton a great director who directed interesting films such as, Batman and The Nightmare Before Christmas. However, Planet of The Apes is not Tim's best film due to a mindless storyline and undeveloped characters.


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