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Planet of the Apes

Planet of the Apes

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: An incredible waste of time and money - negative 5 stars
Review: I find it hard to believe that the people who reviewed this film positively saw the same movie I just did. (I was out of the country when it was in theaters and just watched it on video.) Not since Armageddon have I seen money and time wasted on such a huge scale -- and Apes makes Armageddon look like a masterpiece.

Where to start? The script makes no sense from first scene to last. I could make a three-page list of actions that are implausible and/or unmotivated. The dialogue's riddled with cliches and lines that are so clunkingly bad they land with a thud. The characters are, for the most part, one-dimensional and paper-thin; we know nothing about these people -- why should we care about them? There is no sense of jeopardy, no character growth. The story is not ABOUT anything -- other than a weakly-conceived plea for racial and inter-species harmony, along with a cutesy (and anachronistic) Rodney King quote that never should have made it past the first draft.

Other than the Oscar(tm)-quality performance by Tim Roth's eyes, the actors do very little to enhance the lame script. David Warner is wasted in a tiny part. Mark Wahlberg looks earnest. That's about it.

Even the production design -- usually Tim Burton's strong point -- seems cheesy. The posters look better than anything actually in the movie. I agree that the makeup for the boy apes was well-done, but the girl apes are so pretty they look like they come from an entirely different species -- maybe ape Barbies?

In short, skip this and rent the original -- a far better movie that actually makes sense.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: THIS MOVIE IS NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL
Review: THE 1968 VERSION IS SO MUCH BETTER.THE PLOT IN THE 2001 PLANET OF THE APES DONT MAKE SENSE.THE FEMALE APES DONT LOOK LIKE APES.THE LEADING FEMALE APE LOOKS LIKE JANET JACKSON(NO OFFENSE TO JANET).I DONT SEE HOW THE SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE GREAT.ITS NOTHING I HAVENT SEEN BEFORE.I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU PEOPLE,BUT ILL STICK TO THE 1968 PLANET OF THE APES.I WILL NOT PUT THIS MOVIE IN MY COLLECTION.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I smell a sequel.
Review: I had high hopes. I love Tim Burton. Since Kubrick is dead, I believe Tim Burton is the best director alive. This, to me is NOT a Burton movie though. Tim has a lot to make up for after giving us this junk. Granted I know it's mostly the scriptwriters' fault. Just look at their credentials: Entrapment, Mighty Joe Young, Beverly Hillbillies, and Superman IV? Who here is surprised by this drivel?

Ok, the makup WAS good, but I HATED the female makup. It all looked fake. I couldn't get it out of my head that these were human women with masks on. They looked stupid and plastic.

(...) If Tim makes a sequel, I'm going to sneak into it because I paid to see a whole and complete Planet of the Apes, and he only gave me half.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Aperaham Lincoln
Review: What a hugh disappointment from one of my favorite directors, Tim Burton. No suspense, little action and a "surprise ending" that should have stayed a secret. The ending was totally comical and had none of the impact as the original flick. Helena Bonham Carter (what was she thinking) is a dead ringer for Michael Jackson which only adds to this farse of a movie. This is not even worth a rental.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Good variation of the original
Review: It's a good movie with good special effects and good makeup made by wizard Rick Baker.A good remake.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Clever well done film, based on the Orignal novel.
Review: After a spectacular crash on an unknown planet, Leo Davidson (Mark Wahlberg), an impetuous astronaut is made prisoner in a barbaric world where the human race is enslaved by talking apes. Leo is trying a way to get back Home with the help of a female ape (Helena Bonham Carter) with others humans. While Leo is trouble with a ruthless General Thade (Tim Roth) and his most trusted warrior, Altar (Micheal Clarke Duncan).

Directed by Tim Burton (Batman, Mars Attacks, Sleppy Hallow) made a re-imagined version of the 1968 film, which is Packed with Excellent Production, Visual Effects & Great Make-Up effetcs by Six-Time Oscar Winner:Rick Baker. Terrific Performances by the Cast, including:Kris Kristofferson, Estella Warren, Paul Giamatti & Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa makes this Watchable Wild Ride. DVD's has an strong anamorphic Widescreen (2.35:1) transfer & an clear Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound & DTS 5.1 Surround Sound. This DVD is packed with Extras:Two running commentary tracks by director:Burton & Composer:Danny Elfman (Darkman). Extended Scenes & More extras. People who loved the Original film, won`t buy the film`s ending. Based on a Novel by Pierre Boulle. Screenplay by William Broyles Jr. (Apollo 13) and Lawrence Konner & Mark Rosenthal (Mercury Rising). Two-Time Oscar Winner:Charlton Heston makes an Unbilled Cameo as Thade`s Father. Panavision. Grade:A.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Tim Burton caved!
Review: The plot is replete with big gaping, yawning, cavernous holes. Why? Burton cut the heart out of his movie. This movie was supposed to be a tender love story between the ape, Ari, and the astronaut. In the original director's cut, shown to focus groups, the most important theme of the movie was the competition for his affection between the human female and the ape female. Apparently the test audiences were especially grossed out when the ape and human were passionately swapping spit. The studio forced Burton to cut out all of that interspecies sex stuff... and with it the motivation for most of Ari's actions. I'm not saying that the ending in the uncut version was any less inane than the version that was released. However, when Burton caved and the marketing managers prevailed, the audience was left with complete dreck.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Not worth the time
Review: The trailers sold this as an action film. However, it is far from exciting. The escape from captivitiy scene is nothing more than some guys in ape make-up climbing walls while Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch run back and forth across the screen with No One In Pursuit. This film is really rather dull and not worth the time or money. Its plot line drags and is nothing more than an excuse to show how far make-up effects have come since the original film.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Among the best this year!
Review: To compare this movie with the original would be a vaste of time. This is another movie and this is another time... Compared to other summer blockbusters like "Pearl Harbor", "Planet of the Apes" is a pure gem. Plot is interesting and unexpected, visuals are great and immense amount of work and passion put in the movie are obvious! Elfman's music, although not amongst his best and not very enjoyable to listen apart from the movie, fits the overall atmosphere well and provides additional dynamics and rhythm. The creations of both actors and make up artists on the apes themselves are so convincing that I was left in awe.
The DVD itself is one of the best put together I ever saw. Picture and sound quality is great and adequate to the audiovisual masterwork it represents. Extras are just awesome and they give great insight in the effort of making the movie. It inspires the viewer to become a film maker and follow the path of Tim Burton...
THERE IS ONLY ONE PROBLEM:
if you have Creative labs' PC DVD Dxr2, you will not be able to watch the movie, unfortunately. When player reaches the start of the "Enhanced Viewing Mode" chapters, it becomes eratic, loops the chapter or just skips parts of the movie, rendering it unwatchable. Great pitty for the viewers equipped with that kind of hardware/software.
This is still, together with french 2 DVD set of "Le pacte des loups" ("Brotherhood of the Wolf"), best A/V publication this year.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Planet of the Apes new but not improved....
Review: Ok, like so many Sci-fi movies that are being produced, the effects are good but the writing stinks. I have liked Wahlberg in some other movies, like Boogie Nights, but here he is as stiff and lifeless as board (or should I say bored?)The original was a much better movie and I highly recommend it. Interestingly enough, the scientific community now accepts(not widely known in the 60's)that gorillas are quite docile and gentle in comparison with chimpansees, but gorillas again are portrayed as warlike and aggressive(even if the main villian was a damn dirty chimp!)
And what about the good ape? She looks like a simian Michael Jackson!


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