Rating: 
Summary: I'd Rather Be Attacked By Clones!
Review: I could never be described as a fan of star wars (any of them)- I only watched the first one as a result of being emotionally blackmailed on the day my boyfriend's dog died. When I saw Episode One, I hated it so much, I burst into tears of relief when it finished (sadly much later than I'd hoped).So it's fair to say that I had very low expectations of Episode II: Return of the Clones, but here's the thing: even they weren't met! I know it's not a film for people like me- people who'd leave the country, let alone the room, should a sci-fi series appear on TV; people who worship Woody Allen, who know what an auteur is... and don't know a stormtrooper from a - whatever else they have. Perhaps I'm underestimating Star Wars fans here- but on the basis of episode II, I doubt it: they are easily pleased. They do not care that Yoda, supposedly the wisest and most intelligent of all Jedi, can not bring himself to get a basic grasp of English syntax. (Maybe his speech pattern is supposed to make him seem profound- it makes him seem imbecilic). Nor do they see any discrepancy when the same character, supposedly hundreds of years old (and in full possession of a walking stick) is able to kick some intergalactic butt, flying through the air at great speed, lightsabre in hand... Only in a Star Wars movie would a small green alien fight with experienced celluloid marksman Christopher Lee- and win. The latter scene is just one example of the heavy-handedness of this film. Everything is over-done, from the special effects (which look very impressive- but you might as well be watching a screensaver) to Ewan McGregor (who at least has the grace to appear self-conscious) with his Alec Guinness-wannabe accent. (Which makes him appear boring and serious- no wonder Anakin goes to the dark side...) and the thuddeningly dull dialogue. Anakin is easily the most interesting character here (Samuel L Jackson just makes a thinly-disguised cameo) and Natalie Portman (as Padme) the best actress. Together they make a beautiful couple, and romantic tension smoulders its way between them, and around the embarrassing script. One gets the feeling that George Lucas thinks that some love-action will make the film appear to a wider audience, which it might have done, had the action in question not been so sentimental and sick-making. (If it were a silent movie, it might have been a different story). In the end of course, it doesn't matter what I say- if you love Star Wars, you'll want to see this film, and you'll probably end up liking it. But if you don't like SW, or you're not quite sure, trust me: take the money, and the 3 hours of your life you're never going to see again, and spend it elsewhere!
Rating: 
Summary: Star Wars Is Back
Review: ... Attack of the Clones is the movie I waited sixteen years to see. This is one beutiful movie, with many locations. The fx are the best, and yes, I loved the story and the acting. It was not as wooden as I thought it would be. I really loved the way Anakin was portrayed as arrogant creep,and to see his anger dealt out on Tatooine. Some people say there is no chemistry. This could be due to the conflictive nature of the story and characters. Critics are panning this film because it is trendy to bash Star Wars now. Don't listen. Sure, this movie has some flaws, but I was having too much fun to make a list. This is Star Wars, and I love it.
Rating:
Summary: Forget the series and enjoy the film...
Review: I have seen AOTC twice now, and am about to grab a third viewing. Yes, I am a Star Wars fan. Having seen every Star Wars film (including Episode 1) far too often I think that AOTC ranks right up there with the best of them (in my view Episode 5, The Empire Strikes Back). I'll start with the negatives -
A 45 minute, completely unbelievable, love story. There is no good reason why Padme Amidala, an accomplished senator, ex-queen of about 30, would be at all interested in a self absorbed 20 yeah old boy. In fact, almost every conversation they have until she says "I love you" indicates that she barely likes him. Now, that would be bad enough if it weren't compounded by romantic dialogue that makes one want to cringe. Anakin Skywalker. With no disparaging intended to a sterling performance by Hayden Christiansen, the character Anakin Skywalker has the makings of an Imperial Stormtrooper, not a Sith Lord. Sith Lords (Sidious, Dooku, even Maul) all have intelligent, thoughtful personalities. Anakin, on the other hand, having experienced 10 years of Jedi training is still too impetuous to turn into the authoratative, brooding Darth Vader. Now an excuse may be age, but someone who is childish at 20, despite being involved in the responsibilities of settling disputes as a Jedi apprentice, is unlikely to mature by 40 or so (which, I presume, is his age in Episode 4). Anyway, since I gave the film 5 stars, there must have been something good in it...
Well... everything else!
The story manages through artful manipulation to provoke interest in a middle episode. Thanks to Lucas' somewhat arrogant folly, we know the ending already. Yet he has managed to create interesting twists, and an (almost) cliffhanger. The way it seems to be a simple issue of the republic falling apart then just before the final sequence of battles the viewer starts to realise that something unusual is afoot, leading up to the revelations at the end... brilliant! Lucas uses plays on names, elaborate timelines, and a host of inter-relationships (maybe too many, everybody was everybody's apprentice!) to weave an intricate society the binds of which are breaking... The Star Wars universe comes alive in a way the initial films never allowed thanks to special effects and attention to detail that is unprecedented. The special effects are the best I have ever seen, as expected, with crisp believable alien landscapes, amusing and fun aliens, and great battle scenes... a visual treat that just gets better with successive viewings. The universe they portray, with the Jedi temple and its Padawan apprentice classes, Coruscant's bars, delis and streets, and more, comes to life as never before. Okay there are a couple technical anomalies like poor medical technology that mean people wear eye patches, or metal prosthetics, despite the fact that cloning technology is perfected... But once you can ignore or not notice these, you are in for a treat. As for the battle scenes... they are simply the best a Star Wars film has ever offered, and that is saying something. Although I am a true fan of the originals, I think that discarding the nostalgia and revolutionary value of the original trilogy, AOTC is at least as good a film as Episodes 4 and 6. Only Episode 5 can beat it, and I may feel different after I have seen it on DVD a few times!
Rating: 
Summary: How can I give it 5 stars?
Review: Lucas certainly deserves it - the technology is outstanding, and, unlike many, I feel the story line was rich, and only bogged down a little in the middle. Visually, this film is so exciting, it begs you to see it again and again. I saw it with the Digital THX enhancements - and it was startling. The sound and music, too, is amazing and uplifting. Natalie Portman, Christopher Lee, Samuel Jackson deserve a "well-done"! Yoda - can't get enough of him....he's truly the star of this show. Can't give it 5, because, let's face it, the camaraderie, humor and heart that Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill brought to Han Solo and Luke are just missing. Completely missing. Ewan McGregor is adequate, but he doesn't inspire any of the quiet heroism that his predecessor did. You don't root for him in the way you did for Han Solo. Hayden Christensen is just awful. Yes, he needed to be tall, and yes, they over-wrote the jealousy, anger and god-complex feelings that he has, but this kid is just a dud as Anakin. There had to be someone in Hollywood that could have made you care about what was happening to him in the way that Hamill did in the first trilogy. And since this film and the next are really the Anakin/Darth stories, no amount of Yoda can make up for the lack of his talent. So, four stars, but I can't wait for the next one. I hope that the slightly older Anakin/Darth will be played by someone deserving of the role....now, if only Jimmy Smits was younger...
Rating:
Summary: The Best Star Wars Yet
Review: Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones has to be the best Star Wars. The all out war at the end was the best thing since the Battle of Endor. The two best things was the end and the fact that the Jedi Knights and Masters finally got out of the temple... Even though Jar Jar returns, he isn't as stupid and pathetic as in Phantom Menace. I will never spoil this movie's exciting plot for you but it is definetly the best Star Wars yet. Go see it, Run don't walk.
Rating:
Summary: This Is Star Wars
Review: Review of Star Wars Episode II There is one reason for not giving Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones five out of five stars. I will quickly get that out of the way to end on a positive note. I feel that Hayden Christensen needs much more direction than given in order to make do with the crummy lines he has to work with. Lando Calrissean (Bill Dee Williams) - "It's not my fault!" It's not his fault that the dialog is plastic, but that didn't stop real chemistry from brewing between Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford in the original series.
Unfortunately, I did not feel or identify with the torment that will inevitably drive Anakin Skywalker to the dark side of the force. For some reason, I didn't believe in his pain, despite his many contorted facial queues and the logic of the plotline that was relied on heavily to deliver the motives of all the movie's characters. Anakin's rage was bratty and not realistic, not at all creepy enough to give me a sense of how aberrated and insecure a character must be order to bring balance to the force from behind the dark iron mask of a sith knight. All along I wanted to really know how heaven's most talented agent fell into and ruled hell. Instead I just get an idea, a suggested hue because of the plot, and not because the actor, Christensen, was raw with emotion. Natalie Portman helped the best of Hayden's work I think like in a scene where she highlights Anakin's being a junior level jedi in front of Naboo politicians, plenty of uncomfortable silence there for him. You knew that his ego was hurt. However, independently, Hayden has a difficult time conveying how tormented Anakin Skywalker is, or at least should be. The pair had their moments, particularly in the love scenes, but again I feel mainly that Portman was most generative and convincing here. The pair is beautiful, more like models though and less like actors. Bottom line, George Lucas is wearing too many hats. I feel that if a director were hired to focus on the actors, they would have had to work harder to communicate the hearts of the characters and enhance on otherwise brilliant tale. Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), "You're just focusing on the negative!" Now I must highlight the love!
. It is a breath of fresh air to have plotlines, those telling of the human condition, back in my science fiction like cream in my coffee!
The deception of Lord Sidius (Ian McDiarmid) is expertly written and woven over the eyes of the Jedi layer by layer as Master Kenobi, charged by Prime Chancellor Palpaltine (also Ian McDiarmid), to find Senator Padme Amidala's would be assassin, begins to unthread clues, though much too late in the game, about the rise of the clone army. It becomes clear to the audience that Palpaltine's sphere of influence is much greater, far more sinister and frighteningly powerful as he manipulates the destiny's of all characters, and creates chaos at his whim, sending his naive and all too trusting children off to run errands in order to funnel more power into his grip. He pumps up the ego of Anakin Skywalker, tells him that he is the most powerful jedi of all, and then sends him off with the beautiful senator to an environment where temptation, failure, and great loss fuel the flames of his uncontrollable rage! This of course will be Anakin's undoing in the next chapter. The dark one, a wolf in sheep's clothing sits unseen before Yoda himself and positions each and every jedi and politician, including his own Count Dooku, played wonderfully by Christopher Lee, no doubt, onto his chessboard. With the inevitable vote to move against the separatists, a vote cast by our favorite imbecile Jar Jar Binks, the army is legalized and the dark one is authorized to hold all keys to it. With a story like this, one word comes to mind, EPIC! I found Attack of the Clones to be most compelling, and thoroughly enjoyable. Though there are snags involving the actors technique, or a lack thereof, the big picture is stunning in more ways than one with everything I (and all star wars fans I assume) wanted-- THE CLONE WARS STORY TOLD with as many lightsabers lit, laser blasters blasting, and battle robots battling (and a partridge in a pair tree!) all on a huge battle field! Let's not forget a powerful scene with Master Yoda himself, showing us what the force is capable of, that a being as small as he, completely transfigured by the light side of the force, has infinite potential to defeat any agent of darkness, enough said!! If you were not among those cheering when you saw the Yoda scene, you should really consider therapy. Obi Wan Kenobi - "You're just focusing on the negative!" If one returns to the optimistic and unassuming position of a child they will fine themselves watching a great chapter in the Star Wars Saga. I look forward to the final installment in two to three years.
Rating:
Summary: Why did this have to be made?
Review: I'm not sure I have ever been as let down watching a movie as I was with this one. Contrary to what everyone seems to be saying, it is NOT better than The Phantom Menace. I have to wonder if we didn't get to see Yoda "in action" if people would still think Attack of the Clones was so great. The main problem with this movie is that it completely depends on knowlege of the original trilogy. Granted most people who see the new movies are probably fans of the original, but that doesn't make it okay to completely ignore good storytelling. The truth is there is not much to tell. Everyone knows what's going to happen. We have all imagined what went on before A New Hope. When I think about it, the new trilogy is really pointless. The new trilogy creates holes in the original trilogy. Why would Obi Wan hide Luke on Tatooine after everything that happened. Not to mention that Tatooine is supposed to be a desolate planet. The new series makes it seem like the hot spot of the universe. And what about Anakin and Obi-Wan being good friends? There is absolutely no fondness between them. And Anakin being a great Jedi before he turned? Why don't we get to see any of this? Attack of the Clones is so devoid of emotion. We wouldn't have any idea of Anakin's and Padme's feeling for one another except that they say so (in the most expressionless way possible). There is just no chemistry between any of the characters.
George Lucas has obviously forgotten the concept of less is more. There was just too much digital creation, it almost felt like watching a cartoon. To evoke Dr. Malcolm in Jurassic Park, they were so concerned with whether they could do something, they didn't stop to think if they should. There seemed to be many elements that were only there to show off digital technology than advance the story. The overall look of the film at times was very grainy, and some of the backgrounds looked like paintings. It seemed like so many creatures and backgrounds had to be crammed in that nothing was used to its full potential. Like the planet of water, Kamino, barely anytime was spent there. All of the creatures were briefly spotligted instead of focused on. There was nothing to develop a relationship with, especially when you think of how well planets like Hoth and Endor were used in the originals.
I did like the scene between Obi-Wan, Anakin, Count Dooku and (a little later) Yoda. It reminded me of what Star Wars really should be. I'm not sure we actually needed to see Yoda with a light saber, but it was okay. I actually wanted to see Anakin with the two light sabers a little longer. Overall, however, it was probably the best scene in the movie.
I have no hope left for Episode III. It would be good if Lucas got better help with scriptwriting. Maybe the characters and relationships could be developed a little more, and the lame jokes left out. I won't criticize the actors for "bad performances" because I truly don't think they are at fault. They are the victims of bad screenwriting and lazy directing. Or maybe it's that the director has become so obsessed with his special effects everything else is secondary. Maybe he should just make Episode III fully animated.
Rating:
Summary: Star Wars is dead....
Review: That's right, you heard me, Star Wars is dead. The last decent Star Wars movie was Return of the Jedi. Episode was one was a joke, and Attack of the Drones..I mean Clones was a tad better, but still a joke. There was just one good secne. That's with Yoda. I dont' want to ruin the only good part. Where to start with this turkey....Annikan was such a whiney lil brat. Honestly, I wanted to punch him in the face. He throught he knew it all and listened to nobody. He doesn't follow the Jedi code. He just annoying. Here the (and i use this term lightly) plot....About 10 years have passed and the Queen is the Senator. Her life's in danger and Obi-wan and the brat have to save her. The brat goes off and hides her and in the meantime, he looks for his mother. The dark side is making clones to kick come jedi butt...a big ole fight takes place....somethings happen that i dont' want to ruin, and the movie ends. The characters were so wooden...I had splinters. The Dialouge was sooo cheesy they should have served crackers at Attack of the Clones. Don't waste your money on goofy movie. It must be Thanksgiving b/c the theater is showing this turkey. I can't wiat for the next movie to come out so this can finally end. As I said before....Star Wars ended with Jedi. Lucas is just using this as a cash cow.
Rating:
Summary: As Bad As The Phantom Menace, If Not Worse
Review: It's no joke. Let me explain: at least in the Phantom Menace, new actors reading their cue cards portraying familiar roles had some novelty value. But in Attack of the Clones, novelty is gone and viewers are left only with repeated reminders of how poor Lucas' ability to direct real actors actually is. And the story?...there isn't one. Unless you consider "go to planet Buffoon and protect the CGI inhabitants" - which the characters then go ahead and do - a story. But the worse bit of writing has to be the love interest that develops between the altruistic princess after Anakin Skywalker confesses to slaughtering a small community of women and children to avenge his mother! Come again??? So all we have left is the effects to carry the movie, and these too are mundane and poorly executed at critical moments. Yoda's movement is smooth and synthetic, as are the numerous outcasts from Jurassic Park. George: do us a favor and title the next movie "Return of the stop-motion Puppets." A scene where Anakin rides a rock-like creature in the romantic sequence of the "movie" was as bad as any fifties giant insect cut-and-paste. Finally, all battle sequences which involve more than two characters quickly result in chaotic direction where it's hard to tell what's going on. Starship Troopers handled this type of situation far more effectively, and realistically for that matter. But a few of C3P0's one liners may save the movie: when his head is being dragged through the sand, he exclaims "what a drag" follow by "I'm just beside myself" when reunited with his body. Do yourself a favor: leave then!
Rating:
Summary: Will Someone Please Wake Up George Lucas?
Review: First of all, I am a huge fan of the trilogy. But the Episode one and two really disappointed me. Mr. Lucas is so sheltered all these years since he directed the first Star Wars that he's no longer in touch with the rest of the world. How ironic the title "Clone" is! That's exactly what Mr. Lucas is trying to do: to "clone" the magic and excitement of the original trilogy. But has anyone ever cloned a genuine article yet? So please, Mr. Lucas, stop ripping off the beloved trilogy. With your money and influence, your time can be better spent somewhere else.....
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